Ask Yerac

thx (sorry that it's a leather jacket, my only one ever, I could not resist the collar and pretend aviator).

so good with that amazing dress!

I have a friend who I'm not even sure their families know they're married. they did it for visa reasons before moving to the u.s. although they're back in Europe now.

That jacket is cool. Would upend life for.

The Mezzanine is the best Baker intro imo. It's not penis-centric, and if you can stand the level of detail in it you will be willing to follow him elsewhere.

I 100% regret that we didn’t elope. Our wedding was v v small but kind of lame tbh. I hadn’t really thought about my own wedding much in my life, which I regret, bc I would’ve realized not-eloping was really not my style. Total waste of money too. My husband feels bad about it by I’m like *shrugs* who cares? Our wedding was dumb but our marriage is awesome.

In New Zealand most ppl use the term partner if it’s serious/long term. Boyfriend has always been a word I find embarrassing to use.

And it’s really fucking weird to me that anyone would voice comments or concerns about your relationship status unless they’re super close to you and something is actually off - who does that?? What business is it of anyone else??

The jacket is so much better in person too. I stalked it for months (balenciaga *shhh*) and it finally went on sale and I said "I GUESS WE HAVE TO GET MARRIED, I JUST BOUGHT THAT JACKET."

I told my parents we were getting married 2 months beforehand, called them from the airport right before I boarded an international flight so they couldn't call me for a couple of week to try to guilt me into having a wedding. I invited 2 friends and my partner invited his dad and brother to city hall. We got done early so had two lunches after. The next night we had a small dinner for 14 people (to include my parents, I wish I still had the bill, I think we went through ~30 bottles of wine) and then did karaoke all night in a koreatown room after.

xpost, I think people are just terrible at small talk which is why we get the canned responses about marriage or kids or member berries.

Apparently the photos expired already bc I can't see them!

I don't mind ppl asking about relationships--for one thing a lot of us are navigating a new world without role models for our choices and it really helps to know that you're not alone, and see others doing things their way too. It depends on who's asking, and how they're asking imo. I don't NOT want to talk about it, I just want to get positive, helpful responses and not idk be treated like I'm a freak from Mars for not wanting 200 people at my non-existent wedding.

I can still see them but maybe it's my cache? Weddings and marriage are just (to me) super bizarre things for people to obsess over. I don't get it, but if it's someone's thing, that's fine. At a certain point when people try to convince me of things like having kids or having a wedding I am glad that I can fall back on being too old to care.

I've never been one for having goals that have very structured requirements (gotta get married AND it involves a big wedding AND you have to do this set of things) so this all makes perfect sense to me

if it works and you want to do it, go for it, I say

great wedding jacket

aw just1ne. Were your family there and would you have gotten a load of shit from them if you eloped?

I got married young and had a traditional church wedding which at the time thought was hilarious, getting to role play doing this normie conventional thing when we felt anything but. it was really fun and I had no expectations or knowledge of what you are 'supposed' to do at weddings; there was no Pinterest or anxiety about which table decorations represented our true selves or whatever. anyway now I've got a mortgage and kids and feel conventional as anything so maybe some memories of an out-there wedding on a Japanese mountain or something would be a good story but nm.

That jacket's great and you look happy as hell, which is the whole point. My wife and I got married on 10 days' notice, because that's how long the paperwork took to process. The ceremony was performed by the mayor of a town neither of us lived in then or now. Her parents, my dad and his wife, my brother, and two friends of ours were there. It's lasted 25 years so far.

Xp only my parents came, and then it was just my husbands family. It was in Chicago at his parents house but it was just weird and uncomfortable- I really didn’t like being at the center of attention like that. We actually got legally married at the courthouse a year before, with just his brother as our witness, and that was way better. I just regret bothering with a stupid ceremony in front of a bunch of extended family who I didn’t even know.

Someone kept telling me that weddings are for the family. I mean, I guess? The above doesn't sound too bad. I didn't invite my brothers and got some shit about it from my parents, but it really was because the room in the restaurant I chose could only hold so many and my brothers have wives and kids and are in a different state and it was too many logistics. I didn't invite my parents to city hall because it took maybe 5 minutes and again, logistics of getting everyone up in the morning to get there early, and my parents only stress me out. If I did it again, I would've maybe have taken more pics (only had friends' iphone shots) and maybe would not have drank so much that weekend.

we put our wedding outfits on the week before and got a guy i know to take a load of pictures down in the park.

very relaxing altogether.

again, this seems to have been considered cheating by the offended parties.

that IS cheating! If the photos aren't at the actual wedding they won't capture the traditional glimpse of wild-eyed horror

in that case it was the occasion of telling her father that we needed the camera at

We have an ill-advised pic of us in front of the NYC Corrections bus. Ill-advised meaning I wanted to take it.

yerac, you seem very cool. what were your formative influences?

the Boxcar Children, Nancy Drew, DUMPLINGS!, lasagna, Grease 2, To Sir with Love, Peter Buck, Ronnie Spector... i think I've worked every job ever.

Boxcar Children! I had forgotten.

I think I get my resourcefulness from that.

What did you get from driving a bus?

I can drive a bus.

That's my fallback career. I can bond with busdrivers and figure out local bus schedules in any foreign country like *this* (weird hand motion).

cheers drive

oh man, I used to love the Boxcar Children books as a kid

Someone should do a boxcar children surviving a zombie apocalypse series with some Lord of the Flies and Naked and Afraid sprinkled in.

I just realized Naked and Afraid with children in the same sentence sounds wrong. I just want the using found objects/making stuff aspect.

I read a fair amount of boxcar children as a kid but I recall being annoyed that they are only in the boxcar for like the first book, after that they just have a wealthy guardian!

Yerac did u read Mrs Piggle-Wiggle?

<3 <3 Ms P-W 4eva

Oh oh oh yes also forgot!!! But loved!!!

Yeah, I wish they stayed in the boxcar forever being self-sufficient, but it was eventually bought for their backyard. I was ok that they switched to solving mysteries.

I just looked up Mrs Piggle Wiggle. I have no recollection of this. And Shelly Duvall hosted a tv show? I only remember her doing Tall Tales and Legends for kids.

yerac how is the aging process treating you

because not to get all orlando but somehow i can't even imagine it of you

Aren't we fb friends? I just turned 40 (donnie 2 scoops and I are bday samesies). I feel exactly the same as I did 1-2 decades ago. Except I can do more squats and I eat and drink better things? I started going grey when I was 15; I do have to dye my hair more frequently now.

I can drive a bus lol

Ask me about buses, I really like them.

Previously you mentioned you can figure out bus schedules in any country like *this* - what does this mean? Also were you a former bus driver?

Also is your name Carey but yerac is backwards

Most local bus systems run pretty similarly; I am pretty good at reading bus routes anywhere. Yes and yes.

yerac i want to ask a question but i can't think of one right now. what would you do if you were me? improvise a question or wait til a good one comes to mind later, oh wait too late i'm posting now whoooaaa

I would take a nap after lunch.

i'm definitely going to do that today. also, how do you approach situations where you're forced to say a word that you're not sure how to pronounce? personally, i double-down on my idiotic instincts. for example, the other day i was at a fancy restaurant with friends, and gnocchi was one of the few vegetarian options. i've cooked gnocchi a few times before, but wasn't sure how to pronounce it. the time came, and i said "i'll have the no-chee, please". the entire table and the server all smiled with various degrees of embarrassment, and the server said "...yes, the naw-kee" and everyone laughed as my complete ignorance reared its ugly head once again. so i said "actually it's pronounced no-chee" just to turn the tables on everyone, but before they could react another server completely dropped a tray of food just behind us and glasses shattered everywhere.

anyway, would you ask someone else how it was pronounced first, order something else entirely to avoid the situation, or just fucking go for it?

If I am not sure how to pronounce something in a setting like that, I elongate all of the vowels and repeat some consonant sounds so it's obvious I have no clue what I am saying. (although most people mispronounce food/wine names so that is weird that you got looks). Also sometimes people who try to correct a pronunciation are also wrong. Just go for it. If it's something I am interested in though, a word in another language, I usually do ask.

The other day I was trying to figure out this special at a restaurant so I asked because I didn't recognize one of the words. I thought he said it was "white bison" so I was like, oh that sounds weird, I should order that. It wasn't until a day later when I was mulling over the "white bison" that I realized he was saying it was white meat/pork (I can't remember if I misheard viande or cochon). And it did totally taste like pork.

Xp whenever I order bruschetta at a restaurant the server will, 99 times out of 100, smugly “correct” me - but they’re the ones mispronouncing it, bc I worked for an actual Italian family for 8 yrs. it pisses me off.

Server correcting a patron's pronunciation seems like a generally bad move to me.

Yeah, that's a bad server. I almost brought it up on the gnocchi thing but I couldn't tell if the server was just repeating the order or actually correcting.