Queer Eye For The Straight Guy WTF

bandana necklace vs bandana belt

Yeah, I find Antoni hot only sometimes. I couldn't figure out who he was reminding me of that made me think warm milk (was thinking Orlando Bloom or the guy from 50 Shades), but it's ^^^John Mayer.

noooooo

https://imagesvc.timeincapp.com/v3/mm/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpeopledotcom.files.wordpress.com%2F2018%2F03%2Fantoni-porowski-john-mayer-2.jpg&w=2200&q=70

I think Antoni is hot in still photography and in slow motion sometimes. In regular motion, total john mayer vibe.

he looked really pretty with eyeliner

the episode with the burner guy seemed odd to me -- i didn't like the matchmaker angle. otherwise he seemed like an alright dude, esp compared with the guy who lied to his mom and spat pumpkin seeds all day. yikes.

On a few occasions I've thought the show opened up some topics that maybe could have been unpacked more but were interesting anyway. Like in the Mama Tammye ep, where Bobby won't go in the church and Karamo keeps insisting that the church is a supportive, nurturing place for him...yes, because one of you is a person of color who has experienced church communities serving & prioritizing different needs and identities. So in Karamo's experience, the Black church holds space and represents safety and community for its members even when their other identities complicate the relationship, and in Bobby's, the church is the abuser who traumatizes.

The ex-evangelical fb group I lurk on was not having the "all is forgiven" angle on this ep--they've collectively experienced too much trauma. Many of them have been ostracized, shunned, etc, and mistrust the feel-good line about being "loved" but not "affirmed." ("Affirmed" meaning, having LGBTQ life spiritually & theologically supported and not just tolerated among the congregants.) The ex-vies didn't want Tammye's son to go back at all.

Another good point was how at-risk a lot of the cast feel when they leave the metropolitan area and go out into more "red state" rural areas, and they all observed that Antoni can be more comfortable there because he's more straight-passing as opposed to "Big Gay Jesus" (lol Jonathan). The show kept it moving and didn't talk about this more but I liked that it was acknowledged.

yah Laurel I agree it's interesting however it can seem pretty facile when it's in the service of achieving these neat feel good resolutions. Like yay you're accepted now, all is well, except I couldn't help scanning the congregation's faces for signs of reluctance or disapproval. Don't think I spotted many sideeyes or frowns or raised eyebrows, but some of them didn't seem too happy about it and I always wonder what happens once the cameras stop rolling and they resume their normal lives.

Why do they insist on having these neat resolutions anyway? I know it makes for more acceptable viewing but it contradicts some of what they say about how long it has taken them to find acceptance or confidence to be themselves or true catharsis. I would have thought they might have been more supportive of people finding their tribe or w/e, so they can give the finger to people that wouldn't have them before and probably aren't going to change their views once they're out of the spotlight. I kind of like how some of the participants (probably unintentionally) subvert the show by not following aspects of their advice, so you get these awkward, very real moments. I'd like to see an episode where you get enough of those moments that it leads to disaster or someone just gets rejected, but I can't see that happening because it would require the Fab Five to be cool with their advice being more or less rejected too.

This just means we need more episodes, NOW.

hey guys, does anyone fancy some peanuts in vinegar with onion and herbs to be eaten with the bare hand?

i agree qiqi, i'd like to see that too.

i wasn't being sarcastic there, btw.

Those peanuts may be more ridiculous than the gamer guy's lies. I was looking at the Fab 5's faces when he served them back at the loft.

in the burner episode Karemo says (re. burning man) - "i'd judt like to take him to coachella so we can eat grapes and drink champagne in the vip lounge" (paraphrasing) - i'm not entirely sure what burning man is, and google has not helped me very much, but i just thought that was the worst advice possible.

i haven't seen the gamer episode yet! xpost.

i want to see these peanuts

I have never been to burning man, but I imagine it's like the movie Wicker Man except naked dirty people on drugs.

I don't know if he's a real gamer, I just got tired of calling him the persian guy.

that sounds excellent though. xp

it certainly sounds a lot better than being in the vip lounge at coachella.

That's why that dude was so into it. I was like "i'm sure Burning Man is the highlight of your year, you crunchie ass mofo."

"way harsh, Tai"

Burner dude ep was maybe more low-key subtle in terms of resolutions but I thought it was kind of nice & i liked that him & the lady got together

Gamer guy ep: while I wanted to kick him more often than look at him, there’s something about the way they use a very mild “tough love” to shake them but dont spend too much time letting them wallow in their depressive situations. I do like that they point out the high level of expectation that comes with their specific heritage/family situations, to understand how you get from there to here. (Thinking about the Kim Thayil looking dude from s1, same kinda deal.)

Like, the Fabs cant turn these dudes into unkickable winners in a week, but the fact that they try & they dont mollycoddle them a lot is good. imo. Marginal gains.

like they never go too far into oh poor you with the shutin losers. it’s alway more OH HELL NO HONEY which i love

"And I know you love Burning Man so I've knocked down your mansion and built you a yurt. You're welcome."

lol

Arian the liar was so... blank. He had no personality!

His episode was almost unwatchable for me. So cringey whenever he just talked out his ass.

reminded me of dudes i knew in college & a few kids i taught. that kind of instinctive lying is so frustrating

I mean, was he just high!? I couldn't figure it out either. They kept saying he was smart and I was like "..."

FWIW, their Pride playlists on Spotify...

ANTONI: https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX5nluNjMjoM0?si=hfkAZ8CGQsS_g9RGv0PGxg
KARAMO: https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DXbHwYW9IUCXA?si=KoPwCnAlRSe_wQCZUwl5eQ
JONATHAN: https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DWTarG7u0F62S?si=pbC0QDrhTveIdOS-9rJzDA
BOBBY: https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX0AFojabHxv3?si=Hdij9IWhR5utphEzZtwopA
TAN: https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX6G79ZQrQjvV?si=yDn0SFe7Rm6xHXOMJhDLYw

i spent mayor ted's episode trying to think who his #resistancebeard made him look like and finally i realised it was... varg vikernes :(

'hi, i'm the mayor of clarkston, georgia and i'm also a neo-nazi murderer'

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/74/ab/9d/74ab9d302f2bbf919dcbad123d4581e4.jpg

that beard was nasty.

it was disconcertingly pubelike, yeah

you could see through it from the side, I didn’t like that

I met a guy recently who had a full beard that was pretty unkempt, and he was also a smoker.
The lower 1/4 inch of hair on his upper lip was stained yellow from nicotine and it was so gross I nearly threw up.

all I could think of was that picture from Roald Dahl's The Twits
https://thetwits14.weebly.com/uploads/2/8/9/1/28911313/4641890.jpg?394

welp that’s my weekend ruined

The singer songwriter pianist/tragic home school victim really reminded me of a Bruce mcolloch character from kids in the hall

i loved that Sean so much, he was so corny & sweet. and bobby working so hard to include the godmother was such a beautiful, insightful gesture - the others kind of pivoted him away from her but bobby was smart enough to know what she would be going through as much as Sean.

Sean reminded me of one of my good friends from high school. he had much older parents, elderly really compared to ours, and all of his brothers & sisters were grown up & had moved out long ago. his personality, his dress, was 20 years older than he was & he had such a hard time in school. he was the loveliest guy though. it’s like you get preserved in amber & it can be very hard to break out of that if you don’t have outside help.

Ok I take back most of what I wrote earlier. Just watched the full season and they won me over again. Jonathan wasn't actually annoying at all and seems to have reduced the frequency of yasses. He's pretty hilarious sometimes.

<3 <3 <3

I watched the online episode in Yass. It was really weird. I didn't quite understand why they flew them out there and then did a weird abbreviated episode.

ANTONI: https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX5nluNjMjoM0?si=hfkAZ8CGQsS_g9RGv0PGxg
KARAMO: https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DXbHwYW9IUCXA?si=KoPwCnAlRSe_wQCZUwl5eQ
JONATHAN: https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DWTarG7u0F62S?si=pbC0QDrhTveIdOS-9rJzDA
BOBBY: https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX0AFojabHxv3?si=Hdij9IWhR5utphEzZtwopA
TAN: https://open.spotify.com/user/spotify/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX6G79ZQrQjvV?si=yDn0SFe7Rm6xHXOMJhDLYw

― I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Thursday, 21 June 2018 14:31 (four days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

tan should post to ilx

bobby should not be allowed to do this again

also i'd like to echo everyone saying that this series comes to a crashing halt in ep 6. watching that vile arian guy shrugging off the enthusiasm of the fab five like they'd just told him to tie his shoelaces or something was gross. shouldn't have screened the episode

first five episodes lovely tho

Playing devil's advocate for a moment, was it really that bad? Yeah he was a typical entitled, inconsiderate gamer slob, but they actually did a decent job of calling out his lies and forcing him to admit at least some responsibility, which for that kind of 24(?) year old dude is some achievement. Also he seemed quite appreciative of what they had done for him. I think he was just very insecure and avoidant, which isn't surprising for someone of that age, and because he's able to easily hide from people for most of the day and probably only has superficial interactions at clubs and bars, he never really has anyone confronting him, and appears to be hanging out with a crowd of bros, whom would probably subscribe to "no drama", "chill bro" principles, despite their own disappointments which they only indirectly expressed through the show. He ignored Tan's advice about dressing, which Tan strongly disapproved of, but he's hardly the first to do that, and if you go back to Tom from S1, wasn't he basically dressed in an unbuttoned shirt over a t-shirt, looking about 40 years too old for those clothes? I know a more formal dinner should require a more formal shirt, but would you and should you expect someone of that age to follow all of their advice? Especially in that more casual sort of crowd. He definitely has some growing up to do but I think he took at least a few steps, and he also has the advantage of watching the show to be able to see how he comes across and what might be endorsed or disapproved of by others.

imago, i sent you a webmail through ilx about a month ago. did you get it? it's cool if you got it and didn't feel like replying!

I hate this show, Scott Thompson otm

What’s also remarkable about Buddy is how he’s a counterweight to the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy vision of homosexuality.
Please, don’t … ugh.

Those depictions have historically communicated that being gay means a million different stereotypical things having to do with fashion and decorating and lisps and all that bullshit. But, in reality, the only definitional aspect of being gay is attraction to men. In an infuriating irony, that sexual impulse is the one thing those kinds of characters aren’t allowed to talk about.
Totally. And it castrates us. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was part of the castration of gay males in the last 20, 30 years. In order for us to be accepted, we had to give up our dicks. You can dress it up all you like, but deep down, that’s what being gay is about: fucking. Even our move towards gay marriage is a weird trade-off. When people said, “Love wins!” it’s like, no — sex wins. Love did not win. Fucking won. You’ve always been allowed to love whoever you want. You have not been allowed to fuck who you want. I’m going to get in trouble for saying that, but that’s the truth.

But, in reality, the only definitional aspect of being gay is attraction to men.

for the most part, this is total bullshit fwiw, and i spend a fair bit of time around a lot of gays.