US Politics, June 2018: This is a total goat rodeo.

Coordination!

McConnell says he wants any agreement with North Korea to be submitted to Senate as a treaty

— Burgess Everett (@burgessev) June 12, 2018

Pence told Senate GOP that military exercises in Korea will continue, per Sen. Gardner

— Burgess Everett (@burgessev) June 12, 2018

NEW: Pence’s press sec tells @lachlan that reports he said military exercises with Korea will continue are “false”

— Sam Stein (@samstein) June 12, 2018

god these fuckin idiots

these people would fuck up a baked potato

— Kilgore Trout (@KT_So_It_Goes) June 12, 2018

These people would fuck up eating a baked potato.

'Where it go at?' (forcefully inserts piping-hot potato into anus)

^^How Covfefe happened, iirc.

.@VP was very clear: regular readiness training and training exchanges will continue. https://t.co/9tnKhqxnMz

— Cory Gardner (@SenCoryGardner) June 12, 2018

uh oh Pence drama incoming

I swear on my mother I thought the tweet read, "These people would fuck a baked potato."

that's a terrible thing to call Ivanka

i guess i won't share the Adam Johnson tweet on FB since my brother-in-law works for GenDyn

anyway, seeing some lib hawks go all Curtis LeMay today has been a laff

So hopw's that Noble prize bid going?

& are the meeting coins at a premium yet?

so deNiro said "f Trump" twice on the Tonys last night. Odds that there will be a response tweet?

― the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Monday, June 11, 2018 4:10 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Didn't take that long! Lol this douchebag

Robert De Niro, a very Low IQ individual, has received to many shots to the head by real boxers in movies. I watched him last night and truly believe he may be “punch-drunk.” I guess he doesn’t...

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 12, 2018

"to many"

yeah but that punctuation reflects a staffer's faux trumptweet imo

"to many shots to the head" should be on the shortlist for July thread titles

Cheers!

even funnier when you remember this is the guy who is making executive decisions based on the advice of Sylvester Stallone

Thank you for the gift of that tweet, Donald (or faux Donald, whatever). Grammatically-incorrect and/or misspelled slams on another's intelligence are very very high on my list of favorite things ever.

get a brain, moran

RdN and Yam deserve each other, imho. Add Alec Baldwin for a 3-way standoff.

http://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/391806-alec-baldwin-i-would-absolutely-win-if-i-ran-for-president-in

surely you meant "jerkoff"

"South Koreans do not trust Kim or Trump, or believe in the possibility of a quick reunification. They are simply aware of the toll that seventy years of national division have taken, and are eager for an alternative future." https://t.co/heapWAHB2T

— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) June 12, 2018

not gonna lie, the prospect of four more years of president brainstem is almost worth it if it meant alec baldwin getting utterly humiliated on the international stage

not gonna lie, the prospect of four more years of president brainstem is almost worth it if it meant alec baldwin getting utterly humiliated on the international stage

sorry but... seriously? the time for celebrity deathmacth lolz is way over

Rather.

Separately:

Feud erupts between DOJ and Nunes, with Rosenstein now threatening to call for a House investigation into Nunes staffers after DOJ rebuts account of heated, closed-door clash, per @LauraAJarrett https://t.co/wYMoUGJBVn

— Manu Raju (@mkraju) June 12, 2018

Staffers for Devin Nunes apparently threatened to hold Rod Rosenstein in Contempt of Congress in a recent meeting. He told them if they did, he would have the right to subpoena their communications and put them on the witness stand to prove them wrong. He's 100% right about that. https://t.co/a41tMnT4du

— Renato Mariotti (@renato_mariotti) June 12, 2018

Elsewhere:

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2018/06/rene-boucher-describes-attack-on-neighbor-rand-paul.html

In September, Paul piled limbs and trimmings from shrubs in a 5-foot-high and 10-foot-long pile near the property line between them. Boucher, who called the pile “unsightly,” after several weeks moved the debris into portable dumpsters and had them taken away.

In October, Paul reconstructed the pile. A few days later, Boucher again had them hauled away. Less than 10 days later, Paul again made another pile of limbs and leaves, again in the same spot. Boucher took his beef to the Rivergreen Homeowner’s Association, but it did not help.

On Nov. 2, Boucher hit some kind of limit with his patience. He poured gasoline on the pile of debris and set it on fire. The resulting fireball gave him second-degree burns on his arms, neck, and face.

The one time a HOA doesn't all get up in one's shit...

(Onion Headline) Gigantic Metaphor of Political Divisiveness Set On Fire

Echoes of IRL sinkhole in White House lawn

New In Reader's Digest: Life In These End Times Of The United States

I'm wondering where Paul got all the debris for the second and third piles. Was he decimating his own yard? Raiding other houses' yard waste bins?

he made a desert and peaced

I like the idea that Boucher probably failed several times to light the PILE OF STICKS AND LEAVES on fire. And then had to drive to the gas station and ask for a jerry-can of gas, drive back, muttering to himself the whole time, picturing it all in his head, just working himself into an absolute state and then burning the fuck out of himself.

Is it really a crime if any living person subjected to the same conditions would react in the same completely understandable way?

imagine Rand fucking Paul being a member of your HOA

Good fences make good neighbors iirc

Just the phrase "affluent Kentucky suburb" gives me like a full-on panic attack

HLN's ticker really wants people to feel bad about Kudlow. And I'm like...

I've had annoying neighbors before but never set myself on fire.

Somewhere there is a Michael Jackson / Pepsi joke there but I am too tired to construct it.

I actually did that once! Attempt to ignite a pile of wet leaves with gasoline. Only used a little! Thought it'd be like super lighter fluid. Caused 3 explosions! Not major, but enough to get people running out of the house to see what happened. (This was during a Thanksgiving weekend in upstate New York, when it was still legal to burn leaves.) Nobody got hurt, but we was dumb.

Ha ha I keep piling a bunch of debris between the neighbor yard and mine but it’s because they always let their dog out and it comes through a clear path between trees into our yard and poops.

Ah, Virginia.

neo-Confederate Corey Stewart just won the GOP primary in the Virginia Senate race, so I'm re-upping my reporting on him calling white nationalist Paul Nehlen his "personal hero" and naming a neo-Nazi his campaign's "volunteer of the week" https://t.co/zvlx5Pe01J https://t.co/RsqFAn8hCs

— Caleb Ecarma (@calebecarma) June 13, 2018

Yeah, I heard there were Democrats who voted for Stewart in an attempt at selecting the crazier (therefore weaker) general election opponent. If true, gah. Guys have you heard of a fellow called Trump? Immanentizing the eschaton is not sound strategery anymore (if it ever was).

Yeah, there's no percentage in betting against the most outrageously awful option these days. People might just decide that 'outrageously awful' is the kind of change we could use.

People might just decide that 'outrageously awful' is the kind of change we could use.

― Not with a bang but a MAGA (Old Lunch)

not sure how giving an outrageously awful racist political power counts as "change" in 2018, but ok

Make America Even Worse!

I mean, I'm sure there are people who are disappointed that big softie Trump hasn't instituted concentration camps and roving death squads yet.

have you all seen this? trump played this for kim jong-un. the fact that this is real and that happened is one of the most intensely strange things i've ever heard of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYsaC2CADs0

it is a fake trailer. he played him a fake trailer