Worst TV adverts of the moment

I heard some of the worlds top scientists have arranged, Fantastic Voyage style, a micro sub shrunk to almost molecule size, to get to the centre of Ryan Giggs brain - to work out how the thick cunt even manages to breath!

Wiltshire Farms frozen meals for olds are so depressingly 1950s school dinner they make me want to give up food.

Postcode Lottery: maybe try not employing utter twats.

Peace, keep up the good work, creatives.

I see fewer adverts these days than I ever have, I think. But they horrify me much more.

Yeah I'm probably watching more TV than I have in years and most adverts are like acid on my soul

everything about those Knoppers ads screams "made in Germany" but his lips look like they're speaking English

and that’s why we’re leaving the eu

paging Dktr Oetker

i like his pizzas tho

they don't taste like pizza but they do taste nice.

^ neu advertising slogan for Herr Doktor Oetker.

I've just watched a dog singing so maybe the Knoppers ad was in German originally

lol Tom

Awesome there's a guy who looks a bit like Richard Herring dancing round the house to "Come Up and See Me" because he's got bone-on pills

That dishwasher advert with people singing "This Little Light of Mine" is quite kill worthy

And it's a horrible Top of the Pops album type cover of "Come Up and See Me" too.

I wasn't paying much attention to the music I was too busy being gobsmacked that they were celebrating erections thru the medium of interpretive dance

Are you sure it isn’t Richard herring

Does he have erectile dysfunction y/n?

If he has I'm sure he'd have done a routine about it by now.

P sure he’s done dozens

Hold up imma ask

Entire show it appears.

http://benjaminhendy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/TalkingCock.jpg

dear Andrex if you don't pack it in with "how clean do you feel?" I *will* find your copy writer and I *will* mummify them in bog roll

I'll join you

but they are kids!

Nothing worse than child actors reading cutesey what-kids-say lines thought up by 35 year old Oxbridge cokeheads.

it's a battle of repulsion between

1. child actors reading cutesey what-kids-say lines thought up by 35 year old Oxbridge cokeheads.
2. child actors with adult voices (some car advert i can't find from a few years ago that had 5 year old boys talking in northern gammon type voices about miles per gallon or whatever)
3. adult actors with kids voices e.g. Haribo.

I think 3 has to be the worst.

I remember that car advert, think it might've been for one of those Vauxhall 7 seaters whatever they're called

LOL one of the actors in the Haribo advert is a nodding acquaintance in a pub I frequent.

That is not his real voice in the advert.

how do you know if you've only nodded to him?

I have spoken to him several times. Also he is a bit of loud actorly type.

ok then, i believe you...

(example of 2 that springs to mind is the insurance ads with kids voiced by fry and Laurie. Choccy topping?)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rXTLBX-7foU

so apparently this horrible grating guff is Daniel Johnston, idk what the fuck is wrong with people

tbf you probably wouldn't like the original either, but it's a horrible grating advertising company bollocks cover of a Daniel Johnston song

OK I owe him half an apology. Really never want to hear "Blue Monday" ever again either.

Nothing worse than child actors reading cutesey what-kids-say lines thought up by 35 year old Oxbridge cokeheads.

One thing worse is that the lines are not like anything a child might say, these people don't know any children.

It's the fake laffing of the child carer or parent or whatever that is worse.

omg yes "i can't believe you've asked this outrageous and mildly distasteful question that i read in the script last night"

Them feebs that don't have time in their lives to pick up a prescription are laying it on a bit thick

it just makes sense

"i'm quadraplegic and live in the middle of a tall forest guarded by a witch so no way have i got time to pick up my NHS prescription"

Lottery advert where an actor talks about his 3 imaginary friends in the vaguest possible terms is maddeningly lazy

I've just seen an Apple advert that does use a Daniel Johnson song, so if it was that one you were objecting to NV that's not a cover, but there is another advert that's been on for ages with a horrible cover of True Love Will Find You In The End that I thought you were talking about.

J2O : Crappy CGI orange Lama vs BBQ.

truly woeful.

Yeah Col I looked up the dog advert and was surprised it was Johnson cos I didn't think he'd sound like George Ezra.

The Apple song annoys partly cos of the cognitive mismatch of the actors and the song, but the song itself - stupid non sequitur lyric, faux old timey production that sounds grating rather than old timey, might as well throw a ukelele in there...I'm sure it's not the sum total of his work but it's too tweecore for me, especially in the context of trying to sell stuff.

"Really never want to hear "Blue Monday" ever again either."

I thought this but then I realised that I only thought I didn't and that I do.

I like this cover of the Daniel Johnson song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBV7m_VeCLY

Oh I wondered, ta.

I don't even know where to start with the concept of a fucking bank, any fucking bank, caring about mental health...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj3SVKJQyf0

i was having *exactly* that same angry thought last night but i was ready for bed and couldn't be bothered to

i mean

their industry, their business practices...they're a *factor* in mental illness for fuck sake

fuck them to oblivion, kill kill