Facebook neighborhood groups are the worst thing ever

so there's a new app called 'citizen' which seems a strong contender for new Worst Thing Ever

https://gizmodo.com/citizen-the-creepy-crime-fighting-app-formerly-known-a-1818607859

Dog Tied to Tree?
My neighbor has a dog tied to their tree. They work night shifts and I hate to disturb them so early but I also know, as animal lovers, they would not do this. EDIT: Just spoke with my neighbors. This is not their dog nor did they tie this dog up.

Is someone missing a dog?

Has anyone seen my tree, there was a dog tied to it last time I saw it.

"Oh, tie a yellow lab to the old oak tree, the old oak tree..."

Every post tonight is “all this noise, you’re ruining the night for everyone!”

We have a type of neighborhood watch, right now it’s me and 3 other people on Friday and Saturday 11pm to 5am and some of our older night owls who just watch from there darkened front windows, who call us.

Comment in response to a question about increased police activity in the neighborhood.

GladysKravitz.jpg

Who knew that one day we'd miss the Kitty Genovese era.

This is like one step away from the OMG, WHO'S CAT IS THIS? and it's a bobcat in a sink.

Except this one actually happened.

https://i.imgur.com/7emhMJ3.png

Gonna start posting a buncha frogs to my feed.

Is this your bald dog?

Is this your crow?

How about this one

UPDATE: found another nineteen crows. If any of these are yours please let me know!

I could never have predicted that the phrase "just in case" would have become one of my most-hated.

That doesn't seem that unreasonable unless your area is... very full of tortoises. Is it?

just had a lengthy neighborhood thread (deleted now): a woman said her son had found a corpse in a suitcase and was traumatized, and it took about fifty messages for someone else to chime in and say it was actually a live man sleeping *on* on ottoman. but that the guy who found him was indeed traumatized.

the sleeping man was alive, but the Otto man was dead, right?

The facebook group for my local area has grown massively in the last few months. Amongst other things, the number of suspicious characters spotted from behind twitching curtains has of course exploded alongside this. Thankfully there is at least a small minority speaking up against the overzealous suspicion and paranoia.

I'm itching to post clips from Hot Fuzz, but am not sure the joke is worth the hassle that could ensue... "The Greater Good!".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUpbOliTHJY

Do it!

Would they understand a Gladys Kravitz gif?

Not someone I would have known before Googling, but I think that would work very well too. I was trying to find good Rear Window clips too.

https://i.imgur.com/WaSTcrq.jpg

"for sale, electrical wire, never used"

The persistently terrible parking around us is bringing me to verge of posting sincerely in the above-mentioned Facebook local neighbourhood group. I'm resisting by meta-posting here instead. Might have to buy some variety of 'You Park Like A...' stickers.

"Fox spotted in the wood behind our gardens!"

#SaveTheWoodFromBecomingStreets-petition

(two weeks later)

"What's killing our chickens? Another three last night :-( "

A classic awful post today from a repeat offender, this time concerning local Christmas decorations, bemoaning the "politically correct" 'Seasons Greetings' sign that goes up at the gates of the local park every year because "It doesn't even mention christmas". You can imagine the discussion which has ensued.

my latest favorite thing on nextdoor is the weekly "anyone know why police helicopter is flying overhead?"

― assawoman bay (harbl), Thursday, September 22, 2016 7:00 AM (two years ago)

just came to see if anyone had posted about this phenomenon before. they're at it again.

NextDoor alert because someone nearby is apparently whistling

i cant help it that im so good at it, i gotta share my gift

my latest favorite thing on nextdoor is the weekly "anyone know why police helicopter is flying overhead?"

― assawoman bay (harbl), Thursday, September 22, 2016 7:00 AM (two years ago)

I love this too! It reminds me that it's been uncharacteristically quiet here this past month -- or else the gentrification has really set in for good? Even better are the people that complain that the police helicopters should be quieter later at night/earlier in AM

Not here Cuomo and de Blasio! what are they thinking? As a Democrat I’m shocked! Put the jails where the people do the most crime! I oppose this as this neighborhood is not representational of the inmates!

"What do you mean then, put 'em IN CAPITOL PARK?"

As a Democrat I’m shocked! Put the jails where the people do the most crime!

Jesus with attitudes like that no wonder people think dems are snobby elitists :/

Woman just literally asked in the neighborhood parents group if anyone else has the cold that's going around. She didn't call it a cold, she referred to it as "the bug with the stuffy nose and fever." In winter.

Anyone else notice the trees don't seem to have a lot of leaves lately?

And what is with these little white pellets on the sidewalk crunching under my shoes?

I've moved to a village. It's all 'who does this escaped cow belong to? we trapped it in X's field' 'Someone's chicken's come down our path'

Sounds pretty great, actually.

people on local facebook comments complaining about how a road that has had bike lanes and pedestrian crossings are ruining an area. highlights include:
- same person saying there was nowhere to park (no parking spots were removed) and that two businesses in the area had closed recently so obviously the road plan is bad for business. this is an area of like, fifteen square blocks with a bunch of businesses, many of them new
- someone saying that they had to slow down and move around someone exiting their car on the traffic side. which seems like a normal thing you do on city streets with parking if you're not a jerk?

peeps be bitching

"why are they changing the road" is the new "hey do you remember what the business at the corner of park & 3rd used to be called"

people losing their shit over "road diets" is amazing to me

I'm a member of two NextDoors and both have had recent episodes of human shit found on porches.

oh for sure

i was looking at comments on an editorial in the local paper and there's some dude from the eastern part of the state who has made it his life's crusade to stop them everywhere. i guess his business is right outside a road diet area and he lost a little business? everything he cites links back to one single WSJ article -- every other editorial echos the exact same comments and references to studies

strong argument there for holding nationally distributed papers to a much higher standard

xp kudos on the porch work, pplains

what is a road diet?

A road diet, also called a lane reduction or road rechannelization, is a technique in transportation planning whereby the number of travel lanes and/or effective width of the road is reduced in order to achieve systemic improvements.

for instance, this worked really well in a neighborhood next to mine where a really wide road that has lots of stores on it got switched from four lanes of travel to two and made formal (as opposed to unmarked) parking and bike lanes on both side

xp to cite a street you might know, like if Solano Ave up in Berkeley used to have two lanes of traffic going each way and then changed it to how it appears now, adding in angled parking and turn lanes and cutting down the speed limit.

it drives people who hate paying attention while driving nuts because it turns areas with high pedestrian and bike traffic with traffic that ignores them into areas where drivers are forced to give those people space

xp - ohhh they did this with Telegraph Ave in Oakland right near me about a year ago -- between the diet, the buses, and the weird parklets -- it really discourages driving down that stretch of street

lol at Solano ave tho -- that's yuppie hell and way out of the way for me -- might as well drive to SF