Real England

i'm not one hundred percent on how familiar Yorkshire Prose is with the work of Shakespeare or Daniel Defoe but he knows about supping so fair enough

being a complete twat is pretty thirsty work!

tell me about it

He's the kind of guy who used to make nonchalantly lying back in my seat whilst Alex ruins a minutes silence, such a massive pleasure at football matches.

lol

He reminds me of the fake Yorkshire announcer guy they put on (some of?) the buses last year'.

'Reet, the next stop will be t'B.R.I, get y'sen in here if thas owt wrong wi your gall bladder, an stop your mitherin an all'

There died a myriad,
And of the best, among them,
For an old bitch gone in the teeth,
For a thatched civilization,

For two gross of proper breakfasts,
For a few thousand battered sausages.

Yung Gammon

I was looking for pictures to put in the '1986 in black and white' thread, and these are both from the wrong year, but seem like they'd fit on this thread

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5612731ee4b04e09dd34ba03/5612de70e4b09e1a44fa1c77/5614e4a7e4b0262b0afaddad/1444210340039/?format=1000w

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5612731ee4b04e09dd34ba03/5612de70e4b09e1a44fa1c77/5616dd0ce4b0fdd101fca2dc/1444339209368/?format=1000w

woah :)

jesus that second pic is both a) brilliant and b) horrifying

Spectacular bellendery.

http://metro.co.uk/2018/05/13/mass-fight-breaks-ascot-racecourse-leaving-two-injured-7542592/

"..footage emerged of a mass brawl erupting at Ascot and onlookers were left running for cover as racegoers fought, just one week after up to 50 people were seen fighting at Goodwood."

Reminds me of that bit at the end of The Firm where the bunch of arseholes are bragging that after football they'll go to snooker, darts and the like to cause the same mither. I mean at *horse racing* though, wtf..

the only people who go to horse racing at those places are city boys and posh boys. if you're in either position you're probably rich enough to get wasted at those drink prices, and probably also have a very high idea of your own superiority. perfect recipe for fisticuffs really.

iirc The Telegraph, etc, have a regular moral panic thing going on about the lower classes going to Ascot, dressing inappropriately, getting drunk, etc.

The Sport of Kings.

(xp) A lot of city boys are from the lower classes.

In order to lose some pounds of his massive body weight, the king came up with an ingenious idea: an all alcohol diet.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DdWpl0_WkAAof4X.jpg

it makes me shudder that fucking dirty 5 0 are confiscating sleeping bags, tents, trollies from homeless people while these type of vermin are assembling freely on the streets, seriously, some weapons-grade uranium needed to cleanse these filthy infidels.

what are the odds that posting a modified version of john betjeman's 'slough' here would get me put on a terrorism watch list

or perhaps bumped up a few spots on an existing terrorism watch list

Well-wishers C/D?

... LOL, I thought there was more to that thread than two posts. Still, it's incontrvertible that well-wishers, of any kind and for any reason, are weirdoes.

there is something pretty wrong with these people it's true, but maybe it's just like other kinds of exhibitionist fandom except in this case your idols don't actual do anything

yeah it did set me wondering how this differs, if at all, from e.g. queuing up for Wimbledon tickets or for I dunno, some hip young people's act such as Ed Sheeran. There is the toxic level of jingoism I suppose

that's not true, they leech money from the state and keep hundreds of worthless muckracking journalists in employment xp

Thing is, strip out the weirdoes and the tourists and the crowds at these royal events are never exactly impressive, despite the supposed obeisance of the GBP.

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/woman-who-killed-rat-cricket-1577947

(mainly for the pictures)

https://farm1.staticflickr.com/911/27334289907_79e5a19bb8_h.jpg

"This is what we do around here now"- is this a sedentary practice invented by Sidmouth youth or is it a new fashion that's passed me by?

I love local papers.

"Easy, Devin!"

you used to be able to kick a kid in the street

What could be more quintessentially Real England than walking down the street and having kids shout random shit at you? I was walking down the high street just now, two 14 year old lads went past me on bicycles, and as they passed one of them shouted "EURGH I WATCH GAY PORN!!!". I guess they were trying to insult me or intimidate me, but I cracked up laughing.

I was out with my son on a scooter ride the other day, and a young 'un from a gang of teenagers congregating outside the takeaway shouted: "Nice wheels, dickhead!". But I guess I am getting a bit old for playing out on scooters and took it in good humour!

Got called a paedo in Runcorn a coupke years back by a couple of kids on bikes. I was like you wish lads but they didn't hear my sparkling repartee :-(

you can't beat a bit of paedo humour, but sometimes you have to tread a bit carefully!

We're celebrating British Sandwich Week and we're starting out with something exotic. Check out this SPAM® Katsu Sandwich. The recipe can be found here https://goo.gl/B8W5n8

http://www.spam-uk.com/img/recipe/SPAM_Katsu_Sandwich.jpg

1 tablespoon okonomiyaki sauce (or just mix some Worcestershire sauce with some mayonnaise)

don't get me wrong if somebody else made this for me i'd still eat it

Spam is a thing people voluntarily eat in Japan Korea Hawaii etc. I see it on menus here in California.

i guess its no different from british people using salad cream?

cutting the crust off of white bread- extremely pussified

Almost said 'soy', but not today satan

"While this is undeniably funny, they also could have caused a very serious accident", said one Facebook user, who thanked the police for intervening

Realness is so fickle. A golf buggy is in no way Real, but at the moment of theft it begins to assume a patina of realitude. By the time it reaches the McDonalds drive-thru it is wholly made of Real.

World Cup window display at the undertakers. pic.twitter.com/k0sPojtfdo

— Ray Newman (@MrRayNewman) June 8, 2018

On his 97th birthday here's some garden art of Prince Philip and (I think) Colonel Gadaffi. pic.twitter.com/BoTIjd6dbj

— Balderdash (@notDcfcBoss) June 10, 2018

holy shit

lol it’s like happy days crossed with what’s the scariest gigantic statue