The Fast and the Furious franchise films

i remembered it being kinda stupid but actually it's a pretty sharply plotted film

and that sharply-plotted film is called point break

otm

i think the F&F series is maybe the only one w/retconning that actually works? i was trying to explain it last night and i got lost but it does make sense iirc.

when jesse dies in the drive-by... i felt that

if this isn’t a landslide for fast five i’m ragequitting ilx

― Mahogany Loggins (bizarro gazzara), Friday, April 20, 2018 9:37 PM (yesterday)

the suspense is killing me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Lxu75r3-kI

lmao

I will probably see this

love it

the memory of Han Seoul-Oh receding quickly into the past

100% here for this.

F&F has gone fully science fiction now

Han was/is their coolest character. Can't forgive Shaw for that, even with Statham giving exactly the muggable performance you'd want from him. The offshoot I'd like to have seen would have paired Han & Gisele, plus Roman & Tej and/or Tego & Rico.

"I'm here to save the world...it'll be my 4th time" c'mon folks that's funny

fully on board for F&F turning sci-fi. why the hell not

i have zero complaints about that trailer or this franchise turning even more absurd

fuck yes

looking forward to Dom Toretto driving a souped-up street racer through the wall of an exploding ISS and into the open hatch of a nearby space shuttle piloted by Michelle Rodriguez.

so psyched for the vital baldness representation breakthrough that hobbs and shaw represents after decades of shameful hollywood baldshaming

they're trying to force Idris into it

jealous of his silver fox snowy peaks

"You either die a villain, or live long enough to see yourself become the hero."

apparently there's a second spin-off movie planned following the women of F&F

two hours of seven women taking turns to look at a framed photo of Vin Diesel, and shift their weight from one hip to the other

I smoked a joint. Started on f&f 7 but nah cldnt finish it. Just wasn't stoned enough, I guess.

Also been reading how PW liked his girlfriends young (16 / 17). :-(

oh nm this is actually a low-key film about the importance family loyalty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYM7Y_mrq9M

This was fucking great, for the record (though watching the trailer there I'm struck by how a few things from it never made it to the finished film - there's one obvious story scar)

hobbs and shaw is the best film of the 21st century

don’t @ me

While the MCU thread is bewailing large franchises, from an IGN article on Keanu Reeves joining the F&F franchise

Other than that, Fast & Furious 10 has been announced alongside three spinoff movies. According to Diesel in an Instagram post from January: one spinoff will feature the franchise's first female lead role, and the other has yet to be announced. Hobbs & Shaw was released in August, which is believed to be one of the spinoffs Diesel referred to.

Morgan spoke to Entertainment Weekly over the summer and said an idea for a spinoff featuring Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson's characters has been around for years.

The Ludacris/Tyrese spinoff seems like a no-brainer. My two favorite characters of the series, now that Han's out of the current timeline.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qyw6LC5pnE

we’re living in a post-hobbs & shaw world now, your petty vin dieselses mean little to me

Suspension of disbelief is odd and subjective.

Was fine enough with the F&F "Russian sub/ice/car chase" scene, but the H&S "we'll wait to shoot until your mesmerizing haka is complete" followed by "linked vehicles dangling from the helicopter while the leading vehicle maintains road traction" scenes were just too much for me.

There's an alternate universe version where the entire Hobbs clan is mown down a la "Raiders of the Lost Ark" while the bad guys giggle.

we’ve been working toward “cars can fly” since that building-to-building jump in... was it dubai?

The last 5 years of my life have been animated by a hope that one or all of them will drive a car in space in F&F10

feel like there’s no way Dom at some pt doesn’t strap himself into the drivers seat of a car being shot up to space via rocket by an Elon musk-style megalomaniac.

Did a full 1 through 8 rewatch over the last week in quarantine with my partner, fantastic isolation viewing. And while I still might vote for 5 pollwise, the whole sequence in 7 with the skydiving cars directly into the mountain car chase and ending with Vin Diesel straight up driving his car off of a 1000ft cliff and emerging without a scratch, that might be my favorite sequence in any of these.

My partner (who had never seen any of these) greatly enjoyed how by #8 the filmmakers had fully given up on the pretense of having the characters hold walkie talkies or anything, and just had them talking to each other in normal tones of voice and being heard in all their different cars, as if by telepathy.

3
5
1
6
4
2
7
8

5 and 6 and 1 basically tied though

tokyo drift on a different level, such a moody, pretty movie

I love the exasperated "YOU'RE the police!" line from Vin towards Walker in the og film

The last 5 years of my life have been animated by a hope that one or all of them will drive a car in space in F&F10

― turn the jawhatthefuckever on (One Eye Open), Thursday, February 6, 2020 2:24 PM (one year ago)

saw fnine on friday, it's soooooo fun

it threatens to almost not be fun but once the magnets come out ....

i was gonna update the ff vs m:i thread and say i still believe m:i is the better franchise bc almost all of the movies are legitimately good like... structurally sound and well-written, whereas ff is by movie 5 nigh-psychedelic overloads of action nonsense only faintly pinned to the ground by cast chemistry and rote melodrama

but that's also what makes the ff movies unparalleled theater experiences

well put, brad!

realized some time ago that well-structured movies aren’t necessarily good or bad by that rubric alone. MI movies aside, there are a lot of things I’ve seen in the last decade where the good/bad axis isn’t even in play and it’s just a rote, well-constructed money funnel

Yeah the FF movies don’t really work at home but in a packed theater they’re incredible

BN straight orange cassidy-ing the thread ;)

sic i felt like i was right there in that fiero with them :)

i wasnt loving this for the first half, felt like it was coming dangerously close to a franchise about a team of elite hackers who also sometimes drive cars. but once the magnets came out it was all good. did anyone else get serious Frankenstein vibes from vin's big fight scene in the underground lair, the falling rocks and dangling chains and vin's blank affect?

only nitpick that actually bugs me is, i was a bit disappointed with the reveal of how han survived - thought that was a great opportunity for some kind of cool little scene or twist - felt anticlimactic how he just was like "yeah turns out i got out of the car and nobody saw".

Inspired by the FF vs. MI poll, I've been plowing my way through the FF movies the past few days (which I've never seen, barring the first one).

Revisiting the original was good entertainment and made me nostalgic for a particular time and place. Is "Make ya own Goddamn popcorn!" considered a classic line? It should be.

2 Fast 2 Furious was not as terrible as I had been led to believe? There were parts of it that were transparently stupid, like the storage locker scramble, but I was pretty entertained throughout.

I'm pretty skeptical of Tokyo Drift so far. It starts off with the song that turned me off DJ Shadow and the main character hasn't done anything particularly likeable so far. I've got it paused at "Japanese food is like the army: don't ask, don't tell. Name's Twinkie."

[what i imagine fast & furious movies are like, having never seen one]

vin diesel: the president needs us to drive our cars to space

vin diesel’s muscular best friend: easy. when?

vin diesel: a week ago

vin diesel’s muscular best friend: you mean-

both: [together] time cars

— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) June 27, 2021

the cgi drug tunnels in fast and fourious are so bad it might as well be sharknado.

you can have any beer you want, as long as it's a corona

Ha yeah the drug tunnels might be the low point of the series for me

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL this movie omg

thoughts: I liked it better than 8. it was dumber than usual. brother feeling snubbed so he becomes a super terrorist felt false as hell, absolutely zero reason for Cipher to be back, and the space thing was completely cornball. and the hamhanded family shit started to get really annoying, esp with Dom's life passing before his eyes as he was about to drown.

but it was still enjoyable, mostly due to:

-magnets (the gift that kept on giving)
-Otto being pathetic
-the opening car chase/introduction to Jacob
-Ramsey's destructive drive through Edinburgh
-Tyrese actually getting to be a badass a few times rather than just being comic relief
-every scene where Elle got to kick ass
-Michael Rooker!
-Cena's 'break out of prison' scene

really wish they'd go back to something a tiny bit less ridiculous like Fast 5 though, where the shit's still over the top but it's like, ya know,something simpler like robbing a drug lord, not SAVING THE WORLD lol

also mad props that they are still keeping Brian alive while knowing they can't ever show him on screen again

can I also say the Han plot point is hilarious for how convoluted it makes what was originally a straightforward death after the second retcon.

it goes from

dude is being chased by Yakuza guy he stole from, and in the chase, gets t-boned by a random vehicle, resulting in his death

TO

dude is being chased by Yakuza guy he stole from, and temporarily escapes, only to coincidentally be murdered moments later by Deckard Shaw, who was ALSO pursuing him as revenge for his brother

TO

dude is being chased by Yakuza guy he stole from, and temporarily escapes, only to t-boned by Deckard Shaw, who is trying to murder him as revenge for his brother, and despite the fact that you see Deckard igniting the fire, apparently this was orchestrated by Mr Nobody, who pulled Han out seconds later and...idk, pulled Han out of the car, with nobody seeing it happen despite everybody watching?

like it's so ridiculous it's hilarious and I accept it.

^ gets it

join us Chuck

giving ramsey something to to other than speed-read exposition was a good move.

i love the fact that there is literally zero explanation for how john cena went about becoming an elite international supervillain, and no one is even curious about it. in the world of F&F that is just a completely normal life path.

can I also say the Han plot point is hilarious for how convoluted it makes what was originally a straightforward death after the second retcon.

i understand where each of doc casino's notes upthread are coming from, but the han retcon is totally in keeping with the ridiculous and pointless ff house style and i loved it

it does make tokyo drift a more worthless movie, which i'm also cool with

my beef with the Han retcon was that it was just kinda boring and generic as-presented. like okay he adopts a kid.... idk, felt like maybe those flashbacks originally had more charming Han energy and got cut for time.

also re: the magnet-car stuff: this was often fun, but --- this maybe says more about where i'm at than the movies --- i'm also really really distracted these days by sequences where it seems patently obvious that dozens of bystanders are being killed amidst the mayhem, and in order to keep the tone light this is just never ever mentioned. feel like it's been a problem since the series ramped up to Mission Impossible level setpieces, but really stood out to me in the magnet-car street chases, where the people dying (or having their stores destroyed, etc.) aren't yknow paramilitary mercenaries actively trying to kill the heroes, as in the wilderness chase sequence.

like at the LEAST, give me a quick "before" moment where the store owner is really snotty to someone, and then an "after" shot where we see them alive and well but looking! at their ruined store and it's like, that's what you get you snob!!!

oh i totally think of that any time I see these movies, actually. like your little reckless escapade probably paralyzed or killed a buncha people who were smashed into by a military vehicle but HEY YOU PRESERVED YOUR FAMILY.

I was thinking of it last night and it seemed my brain wasn't going to let it go so I just pretended not to notice. like they turn the magnet on and a bunch of cars parked on side road are basically crushed into the side of the military car and I'm like....I mean, isn't it possible that some of them were occupied with people who just parked, or were getting ready to leave? you can't just ASSUME THEY'RE ALL EMPTY because they're parked!

same thing in the Black Widow movie, where they basically lead the villain on a car chase that probably iced at least 20 civilians

my brother gave the best review of Batman Begins, which at the very end, he shouted in the movie theatre "Thanks, Batman, for saving Gotham by destroying it!"

innocent bystanders never die in the F+F movie universe, they come close and walk away unscathed with an interesting story to tell about Our Heroes
except in fast 6 when the bad guy was running over civilian cars with his tank, which was the only time a bad guy seemed truly irredeemable (except he sort of gets redeemed, of course)

I was also disappointed at the reveal as to how Dom was convinced to go turncoat. i thought maybe he'd done something heinous in his past that was going to get exposed, not...that he had a secret baby.

― making splashes at Dan Flashes (Neanderthal), Tuesday, July 20, 2021 11:26 AM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

nah i loved this - what's the one thing that could get dom to turn on his family? a second, secret family

my complaints about every movie:

1. they didn't do enough races

2. the races in these movies are fucking terrible, it's the same thing every time, the loser presses the button to make their car go fast, dom smirks and says "too soon" and then presses the button that makes his car go fast right before the finish line. sometimes, there's a second button that makes the car go fast a second time. apparently the only factor that separates bad racers from good racers is when they decide to press the button that makes their car go fast.

3. they didn't do enough races. these are movies about racecar drivers!! they should race!!!!!

TOO SOON

1. they didn't do enough races

1. they didn't do enough races

1. they didn't do enough races

1. they didn't do enough races

1. they didn't do enough races

1. they didn't do enough races

my complaints about every movie:

1. they didn't do enough races

2. the races in these movies are fucking terrible, it's the same thing every time, the loser presses the button to make their car go fast, dom smirks and says "too soon" and then presses the button that makes his car go fast right before the finish line. sometimes, there's a second button that makes the car go fast a second time. apparently the only factor that separates bad racers from good racers is when they decide to press the button that makes their car go fast.

3. they didn't do enough races. these are movies about racecar drivers!! they should race!!!!!

― ✖, Thursday, July 22, 2021 11:49 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Don't hate the racer, hate the race.

that's racist

No Fast and Furious (1927); no credibility.

Just started the first one. Keep getting the Room vibes from the dialog and delivery

Paul Walker as Mark
Vin Diesel as Johnny

2fast 2furious seems underwhelming

it's one of the worst, a kind of parallel universe easy breezy sequel that's easy to conceptualize if the other 50 movies never happened.

and then tokyo drift is basically a spinoff but also my favorite

Yeah 2 fast 2 furious is awful. Tokyo drift is a fan favourite