star wars 9 grim resignation thread

You clearly haven't watched the trailer

why watch movies or trailers, I only watch merchandising

Trenchant

my Star Wars brand bag of broccoli told me all I needed to know about the Last Jedi

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/583rA2JlUjk/hqdefault.jpg

I can see you really honed that Whiney impression on your sabbatical, shakes. ILX's Rich Little does it again!

(nice to have u back, bruh)

pfft I think you will find my Star Wars hatred predates Whiney's schtick by several parsecs

kind of sad we didn’t name the thread “star wars 9? no great shakes. grim resignation thread”

/r/shakeydidnothingwrong

i’m all for shakey complaining as much as possible

he’s like the jaded luke from the last jedi

that tracks

shakey strikes me as someone who would enjoy broccoli

broccoli is good but i like brussels sprouts better

Gif of shakey indignantly gulping space milk

you get my ideas, Moodles

https://i.imgur.com/QfDQYP4.gif

Lol

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/JauntyAromaticFirecrest-max-1mb.gif

what should happen is they finally make peace with the death star which has become a sentient being on its own Like in MOana they add teh heart of skywalker and it becomes a sexy big tree lady that fixes things

somebody give this kid a million dollars and a production contract

still waiting for that day

What if the heroes slowly discover that there is also a Death Moon and a Death Heart and a Death Clover and a Death Diamond and that Lucky the Deathprecaun has been pulling all of the evil strings this whole time, what if that.

What if someone wipes off the dust on the nameplate and they find it's the "frienD EArTH STAR"

damned dirty apes

I'd li;ke a cross over of Hitchhiker's guide universe into star wars where the invinifteimprobality drive powers the new Golden Death sta turning it into the Life STar and they the wookies and ewoks run it

Appears Billy Dee Williams will be the returning cast member in this one

About time!

Actually, I haven't seen any of the new ones yet. Should I? I've never been a die hard or anything, but I've heard spoilers and I'm not sure watching movies where [that one] and [the other one] get killed off in succession has much appeal to me?

they’re moderately diverting, worth a look if you’ve got the time i guess

rogue one is the best of the new batch, haters don’t @ me

Do you hate the youth? If not then it's a good idea to see them.

I'm just a sap who likes everyone having happy endings and whatnot at the end of ROTJ

see Solo! srsly it's about as feel-good as these get and there's plenty of Lando action

rogue one > force awakens > last jedi > solo

this is canonical

Yeah Rogue is even better in the re-watching, i'm hoping the same is true for TLJ when i get around to it but not holding out much hope. Caught just a glimpse of the casino scene from it last week and was all 'urgh jesus..'.

i'd agree with that ranking. all of these are better than the prequels by a factor of 10

tbh the most interesting thing to me about TLJ is how fiercely divided the reaction is, like not even the people who hate or love it seem to agree with each other as to what's good/bad about it

It's kind of like, I don't care if they're good, I'm just not persuaded I need to see the story continue, especially if I have to watch childhood characters die in weird, inappropriate ways. As if Crystal Skull wasn't punishment enough.

I'll see Rogue and Solo though, why not

And I'll see the sequels eventually, who am I kidding

Talk also going around last week that Keri Russell had been cast in an unspecified role, not confirmed by Disney/LFL yet.

She would make a great fucking villain in SW though.

I liked it fine at the time but there were a few groans and it dragged badly. I just think a lot of the reaction looking back was just a comedown from the high of TFA. JJ has his work cut out for sure.

xp They're nothing like Crystal Skull at all IMO so that's something i guess.

She would make a great fucking villain in SW though.

I don't think they're canny enough to use her in this way tbh. I expect she'll be playing another Fierce Resistance Heroine(tm).

Billy Dee Williams was originally supposed to be in the last one and they passed on him for some reason. he is now 81 years old

xp I don't know, this is one of the rare instances where I feel like Abrams can actually manage a curveball, especially with an actress he knows really well.

The Russell/JJ connection hadn't even occurred to me. It would be cool if they did something great with her, she's usually wasted in films (MI:III, the Apes movie she was in)

Hrm, I thought it was somewhere here that someone was saying they went back to rewatch TLJ and was delighted to find out that it stays as good (unlike TFA, which is very hit-this-beat-then-that-one-then). It is pretty clearly the best of them, though.

JJ has his work cut out for sure.

I'm really not expecting anything non-Pavlovian from Episode 9.

especially if I have to watch childhood characters die in weird, inappropriate ways

I could be wrong but I think even the haters* think the deaths were well done.

*okay not Adam.

I'm just a sap who likes everyone having happy endings and whatnot at the end of ROTJ

― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, July 10, 2018 8:15 AM (fifty-seven minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol my advice is to just enjoy that final shot of all the characters together like the big happy family that they are. everyone ends up dying alone and apart from one another.

funny, there are several reunion shots where old characters are introduced to old spaceships or old robots and these moments are milked for nostalgia, but nobody thought of getting the gang of human actors back together.

im not a hater, i actually enjoyed the film when i saw it. but pressured into thinking it's a genius work of art i disagree and i guess that makes me a hater.

i just don't think it's an amazing work of film, just like most of the other ones. it's funny how you could trash the prequels and nobody called you a hater. that's part of the fun of watching dumb space movies. apparently it's serious shit now.

xp ...apart from the scenes where they do.

this movie is going to end with most of the galaxy being blown up and 3 of our heroes getting in an escape POD and heading to a new galaxy and landing on this weird blue planet called EARTH

That seems pretty likely.

I'm the man out there pressuring individuals into believing star wars movies are genius works of art