Blue Saturday

he’s obviously had forehead reduction surgery in the intervening two decades then

He would do if he wanted to remain anonymous.

but that's the first thing people would expect him to do - the smart thing to do would be to have forehead enlargement surgery instead

"No, this won't fool anyone, Dec."

https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c5/55/b9/c555b9f0fce4c1423d7b1488772ed2a7--donald-oconnor-bobs.jpg

"Fuck a drink-driver" is the beginning and end of my engagement with this trending topic tbrr

that's v sexually progressive of u

Byker I hardly know er

let's get ready to fhumble

dammit i was gonna take some time off and leave Bas Jan Ader as my farewell and i've blown it already because of stupid book questions

can't decide whether to go and work abroad or whether that is a terrifying idea that i will no way follow thru

actually booking a holiday on my own is a terrifying idea that i will no way follow thru

You've not been on a holiday on your own (for a long time)? Can strongly suggest doing so. Even if it's just across the canal.

Where's that laddy britpop cruise we've been on about?

I want to go on holiday, not drown meself in the middle of the North Sea

some kind of freedom edging closer and closer plus sudden summer heat = serenity

Yeah both should be decent uppers.

Wasn't serious about the cruise obv, but I was about the holiday. It gave me a real "fuck yeah I can do this"-feeling years ago after a break-up.

that's at least part of the plan.

serious about both possibilities, really. just starting to build myself up to them.

Do you have a place in mind (for either)?

idly toying with the idea of teaching English in China maybe. doubt I'm somebody who could go off and do that, maybe a little solo holiday in Europe somewhere would be a practice run for getting away. I'm not gonna be loaded and I'm not paid off yet, so it's just pleasant daydream stage. I have decades of timid indolence to overcome, anyway

holidaying solo is the best, even when you get alone with your thoughts and it feels too real it is also the freedom of being accountable to you and only you, I am a huge fan

I have an Uncle who was a survivor of 50's Irish Industrial School abuse who went back to Ireland to meet some fellow survivors, dressed as a Catholic priest with dog collar and all. A holiday can be anything you want it to be!

oh I really want to develop the skill, I'm just a long time entrenched in my dependency. doing this is very much part of my new life, better mental health plan

daft thing is I'm pretty comfortable in my own company, it's just pushing out of my comfort zone that's a freaky notion

I don't know shit about holidays tbh. Not been on one in 8 years and always tended towards the rented caravan in Newquay model when I did.

I was looking and I think it's cheaper to go to Majorca from Hull than it is to go to the west country

you are correct, holidays in Newquay are not cheap. Especially when you upgrade the caravan to a house. And if the weather is shit, you might as well be in Hull!

Lol I love Hull

Didn't Roberto Bolano just fuck off to Spain and live in a cave by the beach for years? I might be making this up, but it sounds good on paper.

Contemplating the difference between paper and possibility is exactly where I'm at and it's a nice enough space to enjoy in itself as long as possible

Didn't Roberto Bolano just fuck off to Spain and live in a cave by the beach for years? I might be making this up, but it sounds good on paper.

― calzino, Thursday, April 19, 2018 8:54 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

He did! (Blanes is sort of a giant cave anyway)

Bolaño moved to Europe in 1977, and finally made his way to Spain, where he married and settled on the Mediterranean coast near Barcelona, on the Costa Brava, working as a dishwasher, campground custodian, bellhop, and garbage collector. He worked by day and wrote at night. From 1981[16] to his death, he lived in the small Catalan beach town of Blanes.

NV, your daydream to teach English in China sounds hella cool btw.

real vivid sudden flash of "what might it be like to die"

yeah i'm Wally Whitman

Today, I'm a 52 year old engineer with a very very difficult railroad client... they make me hate anything to do with railways, but REM restores my faith.

something better happen soon or it's gonna be too late to bring me back

Something did happen. In amongst a two day binge and stupid overspending and excessively enthusiastic karaoke performance I met somebody pretty cool and...I don't know if I'll see her again. Left it up to her cos I don't want to be overbearing. Whole new way to feel confused and anxious and still alive all at once

aww

You'll see her again, regardless of the how and why and when and where, you big softie. Embrace the confusion and anxiety imho, it is indeed what feeling alive is. It is being alive, that. And that is all.

WUB

i need to know what song was karaoked

<3

I did Man on the Moon and then did Can't Feel My Face then a bunch of us formed a drunks' supergroup for I Want It That Way and then me and she did Wannabe, it was a good night

my man

<3

thought about starting a thread of random whimsy then realised this is probably it

lotta boring stuff on sna these last few days

So there was Mr. Jarvis, in the second week, in this hotel with no house party at all, and no one could speak English, except himself. He was very disappointed, too, with the ski-ing. It was some distance away at Giswil. There were no ordinary length skis. There were only mini-skis, about 3 ft. long. So he did not get his ski-ing as he wanted to. In the second week he did get some longer skis for a couple of days, but then, because of the boots, his feet got rubbed and he could not continue even with the long skis. So his ski-ing holiday, from his point of view, was pretty well ruined.

There were also no Swiss cakes, just crisps and little dry nut cakes. The "yodeler" was a local man who came in work clothes and sang four or five songs quickly. The "Alphütte Bar" was empty and only open one evening.

Speed Yodelling sounds like it could be a demonstration event at the next Winter Olympics.

siiiiiiiigh antsily waiting for a text when i know the worry is really in my own head

never mind breathe deep get my head together shut up

a credo for modern existence

Can't not link this now.

Got my days wrong and ended up alone in a room with my boss and the President of Ireland while I was on ketamine. https://t.co/gSjPY8WjKL

— The Every Single Mention Reader (@shockproofbeats) May 3, 2018

I can't top that, salute the magic.

I will say that as depression recedes and I decrease my meds every day feels like pingponging between uppers and downers.

spending the first part of the lovely sunny bank holiday weekend getting fucked up listening to different versions of On Raglan Road.

best wishes all.