Star Wars Anthology shit talk (Rogue One, Young Solo, TBD)

Okay, new trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPEYpryMp2s

Looks dope

Plus

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--I-7Le50U--/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/fmqo2dzoyisnrmccczjz.jpg

MALLA??????!?!?!!?!? pic.twitter.com/XvVEI9kGDQ

— lindsey romain (@lindseyromain) April 9, 2018

if SOLO canonizes the holiday special i will take back all of those mean things i said.

— lindsey romain (@lindseyromain) April 9, 2018

Impossible, it's already canon

In that case roll on the Bea Arthur-in-spirit led live action TV series at the cantina.

Would def watch. I would like it even better if they completely dispatched with any plot and made it an ongoing Star Wars variety show.

This looks dumb as sand and I am here for it

Also lol @ “I’ve got a good feeling about this”

they're really not keen on showing much of Ehrenreich's performance are they?

It would seem unfair in that we’d all just be watching it to see if he nailed a Harrison Ford impression and then be all “nah, thanks, bye”. Presumably if he does a good job you’d want to see the whole thing to allow his take to settle in and grow on you.

Scene by scene breakdown if desired

https://io9.gizmodo.com/all-the-hints-and-details-we-uncovered-in-the-new-solo-1825092510

God trailer imo. I don't think the Disney machine is going to allow this to be less than very entertaining, but it may be blander than desired.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3Cyofu6hLE

Donald is really his normal screen-normalized self here but I'd kill for a Lando movie and him doing the tour as Lando

I posted this on the "Arrested Development" thread also, but it's funny either way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XERmXsP-U

That makes me imagine an alternate universe where Ron Howard played Luke and I can see it sort of working.

henry winkler would have been a helluva han solo

tom bosley as obi-wan, obv

Scott Baio as Chewbacca.

Pat Morita as Yoda

Tickets on sale.

D Glover is cute and all, but jeez, no Billy Dee Williams.

http://www.denofgeek.com/uk/movies/solo-a-star-wars-story/54630/solo-a-star-wars-story-ron-howard-reshot-70-of-the-movie

...it’s now being estimated that Howard reshot around 70% of Lord and Miller’s footage, as part of his overhaul of the movie.

The reason? According to a source, “Ron wanted to go back to the spirit of the original trilogy, while Phil and Chris were looking forward to something new, more like Guardians Of The Galaxy”. Lucasfilm preferred Howard’s approach, it seems clear.

The opening crawl for Solo has leaked. Ugh. I’m sick of Disney pandering to SJWs: pic.twitter.com/BivdNLjFS4

— popular comedy account “the pixelated boat” (@pixelatedboat) May 14, 2018

Walter Chaw:

What's most painful is Donald Glover, the artist of the moment, literally days removed from his withering statement as alter ego Childish Gambino on the role of African-Americans in American popular culture, "This is America," being asked to do a Billy Dee Williams impersonation as the single biggest piece of shit in the galaxy. The script is so ossified it's clear he's meant to be something like a heavy from The Sting: a smooth sharpie with a literal card up his sleeve who tricks Han out of a pile of money, but tricks himself into an ill-fated mission to the mining planet of Kessel. There, something something happens, something something, and that "Kessel Run" line from Star Wars way back when is checked off the list of fan-pleasing references. It says something that later, when Han wins the Millennium Falcon from Lando in another card game (something spoiled by The Empire Strikes Back some 38 years ago), that even with shots of Lando's empty sleeve and obvious dismay, even after a clear insert where Han hugs Lando to obtain said card, Solo still thinks it necessary for Han to throw said cheat onto the table as an explanation as to why Lando isn't able to cheat again. (Han verbally explains it, too.) This is the way you write a scene when you have absolute faith that your audience is full of idiots. Given some of the reaction to The Last Jedi, that's admittedly not a reach. Lando is also a coward, unfaithful to his word, and apparently was in the process of figuring out how to fuck his robot. Glover is exceptional, mind--it's the writing that lets him down. The timing of "This is America" doesn't seem so random after all.

Damn.

AO Scott in NY Times: "in effect a filmed Wikipedia page"

Times review iirc said it was like a movie based on a Wikipedia entry.

twinsies!

Wookiepedia, I'm sure?

It's arrested development.

"Filmed Wikipedia page" kind of a toothless criticism when not referring to a biopic.

in context it's fully teethed.

this incel fanboy shit of wanting BACKSTORIES is what most makes me wanna beat em up

there's a reason Butch & Sundance: The Early Years was a flop.

I'm not the biggest fan of filling in every gap which is why I'm not amped for this like I was for Ep 8 but i am totally going to see it anyway

xp Well it wasn't because of the all-American handsomeness of William Katt, that's for sure!

um

this is a biopic

lol, i was gonna say

btw Han Solo has a Wikipedia page

Ive edited the fucker before. Quite aware.

Even if Han were real all ive read suugests this is as much a biopic as Cheadle's Miles Davis flick

Opening crawl: "Han Solo is a character in the Star Wars franchise. Han is a pilot from the planet Corellia, who is depicted as the second owner of the Millennium Falcon after winning..."

Ok lol

was hoping for a Napoleon Solo crossover

I'm not the biggest fan of filling in every gap which is why I'm not amped for this like I was for Ep 8 but i am totally going to see it anyway

this seems to describe 95% of the SW fanbase

even the "positive" reviews of this one are stuffed with qualifiers

brand loyalty is the stuff of studio dreams, this is still gonna make a jillion dollars

back to the trough, sheeple!

At least they haven't given Howard his own new trilogy yet.

no interest in this. VIII showed they have no interest in telling new stories, just in remaking or referencing the OT. it financial sense, it is their big investment, by idolizing the OT they add value to their brand. so they will do this OT spinoff movie, they will do an Obi Wan movie, maybe a Yoda movie, and they will do a bunch more OT referencing stuff in IX because that is what they do.

the post-Lucas films are obsessed with the OT. they are constantly referencing the OT and entire arcs of the films are lifted directly from the OT. people love the nostalgia for the OT, thus the movies are wholly about OT Love. even the "bold and risky" VIII was mostly lifted from the OT films.

maybe they will accidentally do something decent from time to time (Rogue One) but on the whole they don't offer much. i saw Woody Harrelson in a Planet of the Apes movie recently and thought "Yep, that is actor Woody Harrelson". i can easily see myself watching this saying "Yep that is Donald Glover dressed up like Lando." here we are doing a Star Wars. the new films are fan service, they are cosplay. they are product. like Mark Hamill's performance in the last one, it is closer to a skit filmed for a sci fi convention than the original movies.

Surprise!

fwiw, i haven't felt real affection for Star Wars in 30+ years, but I was moved by Mark Hamill's performance in VIII. Perhaps in part by the way Luke's exile mirrored his exile from stardom.

At least they haven't given Howard his own new trilogy yet.