this is the horny commiseration thread

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That's what bathrooms are for

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom...with this package....it's it's...presrciption toilet paper...yeah"

― ()ops (()()ps), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"...and not a bomb at all."

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

the buzzing? That just means.. um... look, over there!

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, just go manual...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

dear pig-tailed shop assistant in Borders: please, please no more low-rider jeans and restocking the magazine racks. It's been so long - hah, okay, who am I kidding, it hasn't even BEEN yet, that's how horny I am :)

― anonymousvirgin, Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I did that.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Just now? Or last night?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Then when isn't important, is it?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

'the'

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Well if you did it now, then you are more of a man than I, as it were. Kudos. If it was last night... well... y'know...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I support you and your decisions and all the hard work you've put into it...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 01:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, as it is 2 AM, I sympathize with you as I am too old to be cockblocking dudes. But at the same time, your masturbatory options are far cooler than mine, so I only sympantize with you so much. I'm Cosby Number 101: Drunk, tired, horny Cosby.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 07:02 (twenty-one years ago)

im done getting laid. im getting bored with it.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

fuck you. go and start your own thread or something

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)

HA!

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

im still horny but its become a business thing and its not very sexy these days.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Gosh, the sun is shning, ~~women~~people are flouncing and the smily faces make it very clear that spring is in the air, and my inner Terry Thomas is alive and well.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

and i am probably never going to get to have sex ever again. given the microscopic number of partners i've had and the sahara-sized deserts in between, i may as well give up now and become a nun. or just jump off a cliff or something

(it's a good thing i live in an almost completely flat county - there are no decent cliffs for miles. the nearest are in *norfolk*, for god's sake)

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I should put a sign up in my living room: DO NOT TEASE THE HORN.

When someone says they'll pay me back the money they owe me in sexual favors, is it wrong on my part to NOT assume they're joking?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Nicka I'll pay you back. In RAPE DOLLARS.

― maryjanewatson, Friday, 18 March 2005 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm so glad there is a thread about sex, I was starting to despair in the asexual world of ILX

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

No despairing here, not when I have the people on this thread around.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and hi toraneko! Where you been?

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I was just walking behind some quite nice looking guy who had that great smell, like man mixed with old spice or something, and I just wanted to bite him.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been working! Too much. Also, unless the conversation is about sex or cats, my interest is feigned :-) Not true really, but could be ;

However, I commiserate with the rest of you :-(

Ahh, see, the thing is, ppl give all sorts of advice - like: "play with yourself" or "get a dildo" but what they don't understand is that *this just makes it worse!*

Am I alone on this one or what? Like, if I'm already horny, the worst possible thing I could do, if there's not chance of getting a bit, is to cultivate that feeling.

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, recent research has proven that, for me at least, resigning oneself to masturbatory involuntary celibacy is much easier on the ol' emotions, in terms of keeping the horn manageable, than the unfulfilled promises of satisfaction that you get from the occasional not-particularly-good fuck.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost
So you're saying you rather suppress the horn rather than toot it?

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

See, this is where (okay, one of the many ways) I really envy women. If I attempt to suppress the horn, I end up with icky sheets and incongruous boners when looking at the Land-O-Lakes girl at the grocery and stuff before too long.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm, based on my limited experience, sex is functional but not fantastic with someone new - so yeah.

Takes a while to really get into someone. It's not mindblowing until you are familiar with how they look, smell, feel, move & sound.

Aaargh! So obvious I'm a girl, wanting the whole intimacy thing. There's a lot to be said for regular (casual) sex.

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

No, I meant to ask if you'd rather suffer the horn rather than masturbate (not fuck, masturbate).

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

So obvious I'm a girl, wanting the whole intimacy thing.

Well, when I'm really hard-up, what I'm fantasizing about is not a dirty quickie that'll make everyone involved feel cheap.

Also, I don't know how bad icky sheets are. Sometimes the best satisfaction you can hope for is to come in your sleep.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, NZA, we're lucky like that.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Sleep orgasms are fucking EPIC.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Ack xxpost?

I'd rather supress it when I'm really horny (middle of the month = so horny I can't sleep & end up kind of shaking all over - weird hormones) coz to masturbate makes it worse

Any other time: play away!

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Waking up at moment of orgasm = (there is no word for how good this is)

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

mmm hmm.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not the nightsplooges that I mind so much as the uncontrollable, random, often awkwardly-timed hardons.

I would say personal intimacy is integral to good sexing, if only because you need to feel that comfortable with someone to A) let yourself over totally to their, er, workings-on-ya, and B) be able to tell them what you want/be able to embrace what they want. I've really honestly only had sex with like 3 people ever though, all of whom I've known quite well beforehand. I don't really have a lot of insight into making the sex with strangers/acquaintances, so a scientific comparison is pretty hard for me to make at this point.

Analysis of the horn, this is good.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn this warmer weather, uberhot coworker girl is in a sundress today! ARGH

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

See, I only get ragingly horny for people I know, not for people I see on the street and think are hot. But now that I think of it, I'll be at a really good rock show, thinking of no one, and be stricken with the horn. Them there rock n rollin geetars n drums make me wanna. Beer certainly helps, too.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

i have a boner.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

funny cuz im thinking of eating chili.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I was intrigued by how men were so visually whatever (can't think of the word) and I thought about it so much that now, lo & behold, I am too... It is so cool to just look at a hot chiX0r (or, ahem, man - sometimes, I spose) and get wet!

However, it is cars that really turn me on ;-) I cannot explain how this occurred. Maybe through my fascination with men's fascination with vehicles? Fuck, I don't know.

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay. Maybe i should make a new thread for this but I'm suffering from the opposite of the horn right now.

I've got a girl who wants me to come over for an "intimate evening" tonight and i just don't feel like it. I'd have to take a train out of the city and I kinda would just rather stay home and drink with the roommate and her friends. I think it could be because i got stood up wednesday by this girl I was crazy about.

Now that I think about it I'm quite sure it's because of her. The other girls (the one tonight and I have another friend coming over tomorrow) are okay but... i dunno. I just don't really care, one way or the other, about any sort of physical fun with either of them at this point.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

hm. A tough one. Maybe instead of "intimate evening" you could suggest you do something more involved than just... that. Is she a nice girl? Would you like to talk to her more? I mean, no need to sex her right now, but no need to burn bridges, either. Maybe just buy her dinner.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I dunno. I find that after a certain amount of time without sex or masturbation, the urge just kind of... goes away. Masturbation generally just increases the horn level unnecessarily so it's better to just ignore it.

It's been two months since I had sex, and it's kind of fading to a diminishing memory. Not really troubled by crushes. I don't even really fancy anyone any more. Well, I guess I still kind of feel this kind of... *twinge* of fanciment for the last person. But it's kind of beaten down by neurosis and embarrassment and the wish that I'd handled the whole thing better. Bit of a mood killer.

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I give up.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been so ill it's been a while since I went out and did any socialising at all. So I guess I'm more *lonely* than horny, technically.

Though "The Lonely Commiseration Thread" would be a sodden pit of misery even I'd be unable to stand, wouldn't it?

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha ha, true!

Maybe instead of "intimate evening" you could suggest you do something more involved than just... that
Well, I like her okay. I don't really think she's right for any sort of long term committed relationship tho. But if I drag my ass all the way out there I damn well better get some sex'n. My problem is that i should be looking forward to the prospect but it feels like more of a chore right now. I mean i'm considering staying in, drinking and maybe playing some CIV instead! Over sex! With no strings attached! That just shouldn't be!

Maybe I'm just getting old.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 March 2005 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)

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