Rolling Maleness and Masculinity Discussion Thread

cant you and mordy stick to your group chat where theres definitely no gossip happening

i keep it clean as a whistle there fyi and im not backing mordy itt

not it was in any way relevant to the question, what are you afraid of man

tbf gossiping about anonymous dns is not really the same as gossiping about flesh and blood humans but point taken it’s not attractive behavior no matter who the target

btw deems is 100% backing me do not accept this disavowal

US/non US/Frederik imo.

my conscience is clear re chatz i think

i think this was a pretty interesting direction, better than usual on the subject around here

i do think that yeracs stuff on her husband was a bit of a step back to the usual on the subject around here but not in any way to the extent that i morally disapproved of it or anything that was a ridiculous digression

i do think it speaks somewhat of women treating men- the men they like/love even (especially?) like children and imo thats no way to address anything and is a behaviour that needs deep breath ~~~calling out~~~ as deep breath ~~~toxic~~~

i do think that my pointing out that ilx likes to treat men qua "mens behaviour" as children will be the subject of jumped upon lololololol folds arms but they are! i win point proven THANK YOU responses which is yknow the level ye are at as a board thats ok its not the greatest evil in the world but it is stupid and id suspect its a nice pretence in a shitty world outside of ilx for ye, god bless.

i think that if mh, who i like very much and i think likes me, tries to manmansplain me to the rest of ye about this i may just die of it

i love ye all mostly is about it really

xpost D-40, economic security is a huge part of it. I am mostly against the institution of marriage because women have historically given up their agency through it. You cannot have any sense of freedom if you are financially dependent.

One concrete example where "check yourself" rhetoric helped me recently...I've been DJing more recently, and making/playing a particular sort of dance music, and there aren't a lot of opportunities to do that in the town where I live (mostly stodgy techno, corny EDM, etc). The one night where it would make sense is, of course, the queer one.

I'm friendly with one of the women who run it and have attended when they've had more open 'anyone welcome' events. I've played queer nights with friends in other cities, and thought it would really make sense musically, so I asked about the possibility of doing something together. It turns out they put their money where their mouths are and are not trying to book a straight white male.

My initial internal reaction was to bristle a little (their loss, I play more fun sets than they do, etc), but it was constructive to sit with that and accept that I have no particular right to be in that space, and that maybe I just won't have the opportunity to dj here, and that's fine.

darragh’s just baiting me now but I’m still going to follow through with my threat of showing up at his place to buy him beers someday

lots of great recent posts itt, good job all around

shit mh you *buying* beers well thats difft

Cowboy gone do chugalug

this thread got good and also hilarious

Right after the election I was trying to explain to my brother the degrees of ptsd that a lot of women were going through in regards to having a serial harasser/predator elected and the significance of it all.

i had a nervous breakdown immediately when i realized Trump was going to win. i was shocked to my core and was crying to my gf saying i couldn't believe it. she was not shocked. she told me sternly that she knew this would happen, this is what happens in our fucked up society, women just can't win. it was a harrowing & depressing thing to hear but i guess i needed to hear it.

On a related tip, one of my closest friends, who was sexually assaulted about a decade ago, told me about the real, palpable relief she experienced when #MeToo started to trend, especially since she endured a few years of being less than totally believed/supported by close associates. It can be be easy to lose sight of how major / extremely visible events and popular movements can actually hit very close to home on an individual level.

#cookallmen #eatallmen

i made manwiches for dinner tonight. in honor of this thread. ugh. too full.

the degrees of ptsd that a lot of women were going through in regards to having a serial harasser/predator elected
ugh yes. i started to lose it pretty hardcore after the access hollywood tape :(

It can be be easy to lose sight of how major / extremely visible events and popular movements can actually hit very close to home on an individual level.
not easy to lose sight when you feel the same relief!

IO - my mom has been in a similar position to yours wrt a group she belongs to. the group asked her to run for president and she had to say no because she didn't want to be a white leader of a majority nonwhite group.

one of my closest friends, who was sexually assaulted about a decade ago, told me about the real, palpable relief she experienced when #MeToo started to trend, especially since she endured a few years of being less than totally believed

my closest friends who had been sexually assaulted were kinda equally divided between participating in the #metoo thing and wanting to have nothing to do with it because of things like,
1. one of the men who assaulted them has many mutual friends on social media;
2. feeling re-traumatized by the idea of bringing it up
3. it's not really going to change things, it's like people getting horrified by mass shootings, and we hashtag the victims and <3 the location, and then there's another shooting, and the cycle starts all over again. Meanwhile some of the men who were sympathizing with the #metoo posters were rapists (and didn't post any form of acknowledgement), and it just like an absurd spectacle

way xxxxxp - to fgti - lol at David Lang being "marginalized" when it comes to the context of new music composers -- good response!

what was even the rationale behind including David Lang?

Someone once said 'Kill all Davids' and it made him sad.

in orbit - are you familiar with the Can U Not PAC?

http://canyounot.org/

ugly stuff

better placed imo in another thread unless one were being a lil naughty/trolly

i think it's really problematic that these young men are running this disempowering male PAC when there are plenty of women who i know would love a position at an organization dedicated to disempowering men. i'm starting a new PAC the Can You Not [Run the] Can You Not PAC where we - politically active men - encourage other brogressives to not start PACs that take activist positions and ideas that could be harnessed by women and POC.

it's PACs all the way down

in orbit - are you familiar with the Can U Not PAC?

http://canyounot.org/

― I leprecan't even. (Ye Mad Puffin)

the doug jones election has really shifted my thoughts on how politics "should work". before then i was very much in favor of the liberal orthodoxy that everybody should vote, that the answer to bad votes was more voting. (sort of a parallel here to free speech absolutists who insist that the answer to hate speech is more speech). but looking at the numbers in that race, it became clear that a decisive bloc in the race were the people who stayed home, the people who decided they couldn't vote for either a pederast or a democrat (the two things being roughly equally bad in their minds).

i'm inclined to encourage this trend. i'm not a marxist and i don't generally believe in "heightening the contradictions", but we've reached a point in time where compromise is impossible, and "progressive" white men with good hair serve in large part to feed the contrary delusion. if people are going to choose in a "free" election, i say we let them choose between a woman and a pederast, and if they can vote for neither, let them stay the fuck home.

(for the record i am limiting myself to "white men" because i have insufficient knowledge or authority to speak outside that scope.)

i think it's really problematic that these young men are running this disempowering male PAC when there are plenty of women who i know would love a position at an organization dedicated to disempowering men. i'm starting a new PAC the Can You Not [Run the] Can You Not PAC where we - politically active men - encourage other brogressives to not start PACs that take activist positions and ideas that could be harnessed by women and POC.

― Mordy

nah this pac is clearly a horrible idea, and as such, the leadership and involvement of men is pivotal in its perpetuation

I know it's meant to be jokey to an extent, but I find the combination of self-effacement and smugness in that Can U Not PAC really off-putting - I guess because I don't believe that both the self-effacement and the smugness can both be real, at least one of them has to be phony. I think macho self-effacement from social-justice inclined straight white guys can be a thing, the implication that anyone who'd feel put out or resentful at stepping back is an insecure beta, if you're alpha enough then you're confident you'll do well even on a level playing field (or handicapped to make up for pre-existing inequalities)

or if it's the self-effacement is real then I feel like they must be filled with self-loathing and the flip smirky tone is just a pose to cover that up?

i find self-loathing and self-sabotage are entirely different qualities - through years of work, i've trained myself out of the first, but will never, ever let go of the second

So much 'I guess' and 'I believe' from soref. You should really try and shut up and listen to a couple of feminist men some time, might learn something.

see soref you can literally write that the actions of individuals don't matter only the systemic privileges that they benefit from and some douchebag from finland will still tell you to shut up

It's kinda mind-blowing that you think that's a legitimate point.

You can LITERALLY write a right sentence, and STILL people will ask you to do more. HOW UNFAIR!!!

It's kinda mind-blowing that you think that's a legitimate point.

yeah, fred's from denmark iirc

i thought he was a silly sod from sweden

You should really try and shut up and listen to a couple of feminist men some time, might learn something.

lmao

Hey, you can't correct Mordy, 24 hours ago he wrote something slightly progressive, so everyone else is obliged to pat him on the back at least 6 hours more.

ew when did i write something progressive?

who knew the rolling maleness and masculinity discussion thread would be so riddled with dudes engaging in contestive head-butting displays

US/non US/Frederik imo.

― Buff Jeckley (Tom D.), Thursday, 8 March 2018 23:06 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol crut

You should really try and shut up and listen to a couple of feminist men some time, might learn something.

ok i'm starting to swing back to the "fred is a sock" camp

fred is a legend

M vs F cage match would be awesome [popcorn.gif]

how much can mordy bench? i feel like he might be secretly swole

who knew the rolling maleness and masculinity discussion thread would be so riddled with dudes engaging in contestive head-butting displays

― had (crüt), Friday, 9 March 2018 15:39 (nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

who knew it would be characterised as this at any available opportunity

campaigning for this thread to be let be w/out this lameness tbh

morbs up in here advocating for male vs female mma fights

I love how outraged everyone pretends to be at the suggestion that if soref wants to know about feminist men, he should listen to them. Or did nobody read the post of his I was responding to?