pages of derek t goodness. his review of my old safeway is lol
― alomar lines, Thursday, 8 March 2018 06:26 (six years ago) link
could rly taste the emotion of the ocean... theres plenty of fish in the sea but there WONT be after i eat them all in taco format :P
o captain my captain
― papa don't take no meth (stevie), Thursday, 8 March 2018 11:28 (six years ago) link
derek stopped posting reviews in 2013, hope he's ok
― mh, Thursday, 8 March 2018 14:42 (six years ago) link
he's ok. wish I could say the same for his computer. he installed Odell Lake and reformatted his hard drive to taco.
― the poster's anxiety at the suggested ban (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 8 March 2018 17:35 (six years ago) link
first ilx mention of Odell Lake?
― Doctor Casino, Thursday, 8 March 2018 21:10 (six years ago) link
ilx is Odell Lake:you are a Doctor Casinoyou see a random googler ahead
― the poster's anxiety at the suggested ban (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 8 March 2018 22:00 (six years ago) link
hooked by an angler, every time
― Doctor Casino, Friday, 9 March 2018 12:29 (six years ago) link
Liked this review of a local Asian market. Was originally structuring this post around a review that mentioned a sketchy exterior, a fishy smell, and products in a foreign language (shocker!), but then read the review above and wanted to recognize an anti-scumbag. Informative, pleasant, well-written, and thorough.
Unlike a lot of things, personally, the 1 in 10 Yelpers who write a decent review successfully offset the other 9 who fixate on some personal slight or bias.
― the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Monday, 13 August 2018 17:43 (five years ago) link
jesus, ross pic.twitter.com/8kBEArVH1r— Ingrid Ghostby (@ingridostby) October 25, 2018
― the fleeking of america (Karl Malone), Thursday, 25 October 2018 20:29 (five years ago) link
food bloggers insides must look like raqqa
― single bed mentality (||||||||), Sunday, 18 November 2018 11:30 (five years ago) link
Tikis On The Ave, 210 S Wenatchee Ave, Wenatchee, WA 98801
This place is unfriendly and fosters an unsafe environment. My husband went into the restroom only to notice several men snorting cocaine.
― alomar lines, Wednesday, 17 April 2019 04:32 (five years ago) link
Ma’am.
― don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Wednesday, 17 April 2019 05:24 (five years ago) link
...and they would not give him anyZERO STARS
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 17 April 2019 05:44 (five years ago) link
Stopped by this restaurant yesterday when I was in BK. I tried to get in a few years back but it was crowded, late and I didn't have a reservation so I thought I would try again.It was packed again; which is good sign that the food and drinks are still good.But I'm sorry to say...I didn't get to try it.We waited at the hostess stand for about 5 mins. The hostess only came in our direction when a gentleman come up behind us. Not sure if he worked there or not. But he walked passed us.He then turned and said she is seating you.Instead of the hostess using her big girl words like, "hello, right this way, Table for 2" she waved her hand in a gesture to follow her. Which I found to be very rude and uninviting. There were two tables in the front, one in the window the other near the bar. Instead she wanted to place us in the back in a crowded area squeezed in between to couples.I asked the gentleman for another table, like perhaps the one in the window, he relayed the message to her. She looked confused and annoyed that I was asking if the other table was available. Mind you in directly in front of her.If getting a table was going to be this bad I didn't want to see what else was in store.We left...
― Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 6 June 2019 16:40 (five years ago) link
opening your own restaurant inside of an operating burger king is a bit rude
― Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 6 June 2019 20:43 (five years ago) link
instant classic
― Lil' Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 6 June 2019 22:28 (five years ago) link
i was very pleased a couple weeks ago to read like every yelp review to a very expensive and famous restaurant in my neighborhood. multiple people complained that they saw cockroaches or mice in the dining room. lol.
― forensic plumber (harbl), Friday, 7 June 2019 00:55 (five years ago) link
Instead of the hostess using her big girl words like, "hello, right this way, Table for 2
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:20 (five years ago) link
Stopped by this restaurant yesterday when I was in BK. I tried to get in a few years back but it was crowded, late and I didn't have a reservation so I thought I would try again.It was packed again; which is good sign that the food and drinks are still good.But I'm sorry to say...I didn't get to try it.My OS and I waited at the hostess stand for about 5 mins. The hostess only came in our direction when a gentleman come up behind us. Not sure if he worked there or not. But he walked passed us.He then turned and said she is seating you.Instead of the hostess using her big girl words like, "hello, right this way, Table for 2" she waved her hand in a gesture to follow her. Which I found to be very rude and uninviting. There were two tables in the front, one in the window the other near the bar. Instead she wanted to place my OS and I in the back in a crowded area squeezed in between to couples.I asked the gentleman for another table, like perhaps the one in the window, he relayed the message to her. She looked confused and annoyed that I was asking if the other table was available. Mind you in directly in front of her.If getting a table was going to be this bad I didn't want to see what else was in store.My OS and I left...
― Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:38 (five years ago) link
Machines should also do waiter work imo! it will embiggen their silicon souls.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:42 (five years ago) link
every ai must spend a virtual human lifetime working at a simulated dairy queen next to a simulated used car lot
― Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:45 (five years ago) link
i worked at a dairy queen in my high school years (next to a used car lot!); there's no need to be that inhumane.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:48 (five years ago) link
one of my coworkers was a frazzled nam vet with one arm and he would have me help him peel the american cheese slices out of their plastic sheaths and then we would stack them into star-shaped towers.
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:50 (five years ago) link
we are the same person, i think
― Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 June 2019 20:54 (five years ago) link
common rite of puberty in north america iirc
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 7 June 2019 21:01 (five years ago) link
The soup was too spicy, the chairs are uncomfortable and tables are narrow. But the cranberry margarita was very yummy
― alomar lines, Saturday, 8 June 2019 18:42 (five years ago) link
Feel good read if you don't like Yelp:
https://thehustle.co/botto-bistro-1-star-yelp/
― Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Monday, 10 June 2019 19:15 (five years ago) link
What the fuck is with this person's system, where two stars appears to be terrible and three stars amazing?https://maps.app.goo.gl/XBpFK5zuSepYnpgd6
― S-, Saturday, 13 July 2019 12:11 (four years ago) link
YELP are scumbagshttps://www.vice.com/en_us/article/wjwebw/yelp-is-sneakily-replacing-restaurants-phone-numbers-so-grubhub-can-take-a-cut
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 7 August 2019 18:04 (four years ago) link
i don't know what the best thread for this would be, but i was reading about local sausagemakers and i ran across a gem of a review - on Google, not Yelp. it was by someone who knows enough about writing to put in a first sentence that grabs the reader, in this case:
"As I’m picking bullet fragments out of my teeth, not for the first time, from the deer sausage I didn’t want, I thought I would post this review."
that's exceptionally good writing for an internet review of a local german butcher, and i appreciate it.
― Calpico Girlfriend (rushomancy), Saturday, 5 October 2019 17:29 (four years ago) link
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/qvgxzd/yelps-horniest-most-prolific-reviewer-is-a-jacked-foot-worshipper-named-fox-e
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 17 October 2019 17:05 (four years ago) link
checks out
― maura, Thursday, 17 October 2019 17:41 (four years ago) link
His voice is gentle, and he speaks with a subtle posh British accent. He tells me he's from Oxford, England,
― kinder, Thursday, 17 October 2019 19:39 (four years ago) link
That guy singlehandedly balances out all the scumbags in this thread put together
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 17 October 2019 19:49 (four years ago) link
The addas (red lentil soup) is pureed and that is not necessarily the most common way it is prepared in the Middle East, and the menu doesn't mention that it is pureed. It was more like a broth and not all that flavorful.
From a non-middle-eastern reviewer
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 28 October 2019 14:51 (four years ago) link
love 2 correct people on their own culture's foods
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 28 October 2019 14:54 (four years ago) link
scum
― Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Monday, 28 October 2019 23:19 (four years ago) link
jfc
― Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 00:01 (four years ago) link
From local strip club review:
"1 of the girls farted on me I left instantly omg never again. I came to visit and all my friends told me to check that strip club it's 1 of the best . He got me good"
― When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 01:08 (four years ago) link
Should have to pay extra for that
― Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Tuesday, 29 October 2019 01:11 (four years ago) link
I searched google today for bars that are open in the morning (take this as the given, don't judge me)
First two results were from yelp, with phrases that would seem to match my query exactly.
But, because I wasn't born yesterday, I knew not to even click those links, because I'd get a long list of bars that in fact do not have morning hours. I'm sure you know what I mean.
How is this allowed to happen? It'd be one thing if google owned yelp
― otm into winter (rip van wanko), Thursday, 6 February 2020 03:28 (four years ago) link
"Typical, in many ways, of a mainstream hotel restaurant. Caramelized apple salad had apples which were not caramelized, but sautéed. Sweet potato fried were the best I think I've ever had, but they were finished with so much salt I had to scrape off each one before eating. The menu looks promising, but the chef is unskilled, or lazy. A friendly dining room manager exercised no quality control of food coming out of the kitchen. The bartender who served me was attentive, but presented as troubled, or sad."
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Saturday, 7 March 2020 14:09 (four years ago) link
troubled by a major league baseball career that didn't work out
― latin hypercube in shitspace (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 7 March 2020 14:14 (four years ago) link
caramelized... a word that may not mean what this yelper thinks it means
― Larry Elleison (rogermexico.), Saturday, 7 March 2020 15:44 (four years ago) link
big lols at "presented as troubled, or sad."
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, 8 March 2020 03:53 (four years ago) link
The words "exercised" and "presented" are both deployed really precisely in this review
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 8 March 2020 05:23 (four years ago) link
You don't really see a sunset over the harbor. It just gets darker.
― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 2 September 2020 02:18 (three years ago) link
^^^ somehow, one of the best things anyone ever copied from the internet and pasted onto ilx
― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 2 September 2020 02:20 (three years ago) link
Now, when a business gains attention for reports of racist conduct, Yelp will place a new Business Accused of Racist Behavior Alert on their Yelp page to inform users, along with a link to a news article where they can learn more. https://t.co/1K2bJ46uM8— Yelp (@Yelp) October 8, 2020
― superdeep borehole (harbl), Friday, 9 October 2020 14:07 (three years ago) link