rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

ed sheeran’s fucked me up so much i can’t keep threads straight ffs

doritos sells sour cream flavored chips here, not sour cream and onion, just sour cream

there's also "cool american" which is cool ranch

sour cream come in a green bag & cool american in the familiar blue bag so I think they're not the same

I do not want sour cream flavored doritos

note that plain doritos are the best tortilla chip widely available here though they are still not great since all the corn tortilla products widely available here have a lot of flour in them instead of being straight corn, wtf

at one point I was unsure whether to be angry about "cool american" instead of "cool ranch" but tbh that substitution reveals many things

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/mcdonald%E2%80%99s-fries-chemical-may-cure-baldness-study-says/ar-BBIJqnv

Japanese scientists may have discovered a cure for baldness and it lies within a chemical used to make McDonald’s fries.

A stem cell research team from Yokohama National University have used a “simple” method to regrow hair on mice with dimethylpolysiloxane, the silicone added to McDonald’s fries to stop cooking oil from frothing.

so do I rub the fries directly on my head, or

My arteries are clogged with solidified fat but my hair looks terrific

xp
Directly on your thighs, iirc.

that Doritos article made me think of:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/powerful-pringles-has-unveiled-line-damp-chips-won-5938

I guess most of the articles posted on this thread might as well also be posted in the "things that look like onion articles but aren't"

thread

Olive Garden Italian Nachos

https://cdn.foodbeast.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Olive-Garden-Nachos.jpg

I'm listening.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-02-13/chipotle-taps-taco-bell-ceo-as-new-leader-in-major-culture-shift

attn landfill indie wannabes, "The Ailing Burrito Chain" is just sitting there, waiting to be your band's name

I don't know what to think, but I hope the basics stay good enough

this could also the beginning of real machine-printed humane meats, who knows

pretty sure "The Ailing Burrito Chain" is the subtitle to human centipede 4

https://www.therestaurantcoach.com/

lmao this dude

https://kajabi-storefronts-production.global.ssl.fastly.net/kajabi-storefronts-production/themes/409686/settings_images/zwkY7NiIRnSFx756z5Ff_TRC_Manifesto_5_.png

One is if your not growing, you’re dying

why is his signature in the Disney signature typeface

want action

make change

take crap

Probably a succinct encapsualtion of working there

ugh *encapsulation

hope everything's ok over there in the uk
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2018/02/19/kfc-restaurants-in-the-u-k-have-a-problem-they-dont-have-chicken/?hpid=hp_no-name_hp-in-the-news%3Apage%2Fin-the-news&utm_term=.2a68387a9705

never had a good delivery with dhl

KFC now stands for Kan't Find the Chicken.

double down fallout

People who go to actual KFCs when there are fake Turkish-run KFCs around only have themselves to blame.

The presence of one of the Chuckle Brothers pretty much qualifies this for the Real England thread.
'Don't call police over KFC crisis'

http://www.grubstreet.com/2018/02/olive-garden-unleashes-meatball-stuffed-pizza-bowl.html

I’d order that

not a food lab invention but...

Welcome to “McDonald’s of the Future,” where you order without interacting with anyone, but then a real person brings your McNuggets right to your table. The McDonald’s at 327 Washington St. in Downtown Boston reopened this week after two months of renovations that included the addition of digital self-order kiosks and table service. While it’s the first downtown Boston location of the ubiquitous fast-food chain to become “modernized,” as the marketing language promises, it’s one of over 3,000 upgraded locations around the United States, around 125 of which are in New England. About 100 more New England stores will get these changes (and facelifts, too) later this year.

Apparently it's already like this all over Europe? At least that's what a friend in a touring band was saying, hence drunk dudes pressing all the buttons and returning to the bus with bags and bags of fast food.

several of the local McDonald's stores are like that, although they still have one cash register open, next to a couple kiosks

yes here in olde europe we have table service at mcdo, with kiosks for ordering. I think it helps them manage the lines better, as they’re often less spacious than their USA counterparts

Yup, haven't had to ask an actual human being at McD's for some years now for my order. You tap in your preferred gross food on a life-size tablet/touch screen thingy, and the last soul alive will serve it to your table. I'm not complaining tbh.

They are quite Jetsons-y, those places. With touch screen round tables you can eat at that also bring game-entertainment 4 the kids.

We have those in London, the table service feels bizarre at first but it's pretty cool, and as someone who's always messing with the order IME the touch screens are more reliable than saying to the server, "I don't want pickles"

It’s like that in Chicago too. At least at the ones downtown and the one near my house. (Why do I know about so many McD’s?)

In this sense, we are America’s most European city.

you've got trains, there are many strange sausages available there, etc.

so in many senses

the rock n roll McDonald’s has kiosk ordering? What a world

Actually I’ve never been to that one!

And you never will, at least with that concept. https://chicago.eater.com/2017/12/14/16778726/chicago-rock-roll-mcdonalds-closing-remodel

Do Maccas in Chicago have bathroom attendants? I remember that being the case in Paris when I went years ago.

So how much are you Londoners tipping the people bringing out your meal?

“maccas” smdh

Australian slang for 30+ years mh

Sorry about that. Is this where I point out what the equivalent of Burger King is called?

Burqa’s?

australia smdh