Bait My Clickhole

Making Things Right: The Pentagon Is Launching A Ballistic Missile Attack On Hawaii To Restore Faith In The Nuclear Alert System

Thanken to mein goode educatardo, ay rememberen thar sturry ov Jengus Christler dyinn on thar crossler far thar sens ov mandkindler, sparcefically masturbatarto. Thez ez warst sen en thar eyyes ov Godde.

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/und-hungry-hogg-have-aten-oll-th-bibles-een-aur-ve-7189

I'm in awe

also, this. while i'm at it.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-dove-commercials-lean-pretty-heavily-biting-head-7128

wow

ha, Dove ads should be the target of more Clickhole imo

the Hung’ry hOgge one is an incredible treasure

https://i.imgur.com/9p3DqtN.png

Finally:
http://www.clickhole.com/article/much-needed-fix-ea-has-announced-upcoming-patch-ge-7188

http://images2.onionstatic.com/clickhole/5156/3/original/800.jpg

this is amazing

Gut-wrenching: Italian Waiter Grinds Fresh Black Pepper Onto Daughter’s Grave pic.twitter.com/HBofeIw7c6

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) February 13, 2018

lol jesus christ

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fCFRbcSmvCc

https://youtu.be/fCFRbcSmvCc

Fuck, i dont know how to do this

Don’t blame yourself the auto-embed is pretty specific.

truth...

http://www.clickhole.com/video/clickhole-presents-peel-7444

i love the peel.

http://www.clickhole.com/video/peel-dad-ellen-stevenson-7481

I guess this is old, but I had actual tears:

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/long-road-top-how-bursting-various-boardrooms-and--2308

I’m not embarrassed to say that I’ve got it all: the corner office with my name on the door, the private jet, the black card, the villa on the Riviera, and, yes, more money than I know what to do with. And I’m not ashamed, because everything I have I earned the hard way, through years of flinging open the doors to boardrooms and yelling, “That’s where I come in!”

Sounds easy, right? Like anyone could do it? Sure, and who hasn’t idly daydreamed of kicking open a conference room door in an immaculate suit to announce in a booming basso profundo, “That’s where I come in!” Cue standing ovation. But the fact is, if I’ve succeeded at that once, it’s only because I failed half a million times. God knows I’ve barged through countless doors and bellowed, “That’s where I come in!” before finally reaping the benefits.

The truth is, on nearly all of the occasions I burst into rooms shouting, “That’s where I come in,” the timing was just not right. Sometimes, I’d make my entrance just as everyone was shaking hands and rising to leave; others, when they were still dialing into a conference call. Once, I hollered, “That’s where I come in” during a moment of silence for a recently deceased trustee. Hell, half the time I’d yell, “That’s where I come in!” only to discover I’d burst into a supply closet. Needless to say, I developed a thick skin pretty quick.

Okay, you are Bernie Madoff. You had nothing to do with creating Mario, and you can’t go to PAX because you are in prison.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Da7UEMhUwAAoeHI.jpg

this one just killed me

https://www.clickhole.com/6-reasons-brandon-gave-for-why-his-dad-isn-t-around-tha-1825159411

Diplomatic Snafu: North Korea Is Letting Trump Choose If He Wants Three American Hostages Returned Or A Mysterious Box That Could Have Anything Inside It https://t.co/9XuDxcJxkG pic.twitter.com/sR7jdi2uQf

— ClickHole (@ClickHole) May 3, 2018

enjoyed this

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--wYB1nGDr--/c_scale,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/mbagex8ncapaf15sbnfm.png

I'm a little upset that clickhole has a comment section now

Does it though? I may be wrong but it seemed like the comments were themselves a parody of a comments section

Oh I guess I'm wrong - I think the comments on the first article I saw them on were just so dumb I assumed...

Take That, Drumpf Lovers! A Research Team At MIT Has Conclusively Proved That Trump = Voldemort https://t.co/zrTsrhtNui pic.twitter.com/ErN3zLZMMy

— ResistanceHole (@ResistanceHole) May 9, 2018

resistancehole

faith in humanity restored!

praise unto the democrat god!

faith in humanity restored!

― the late great, Wednesday, May 9, 2018 1:14 PM (thirty-four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

Mueller's latest genius trap for Drumpf

trying to figure out how to pitch this at a couple friends who have fallen into the "Why do we have a president who is mean and boorish! Is this your president, republicans?!?" crap

Good luck and may you never die, my brilliant lover, sir!

RH is a straight-up spoof of ilx politics

no it's way more a straight up spoof of r/politics

whatever it is, it is too damn funny

The right-wing version isn't nearly as funny, but this spinoff (?) is https://twitter.com/SenAnitaHawkins

^this man speaks truth

https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/938835383558828033

Bah

Thanks To You Leftist Fucks Apparently I Am Proud To Support Medicare For All #AnitaApparently4All pic.twitter.com/80kZ2haHhj

— Anita Hawkins (@SenAnitaHawkins) December 7, 2017

Oops, I used the wrong link for the right-wing one, but it's that "patriothole" that's been around for a while already

Yeah, Patriothole's a bit lukewarm, I guess because those targets have been hit so often it's difficult to do something new w/ them.

Not that I'm suggesting we shouldn't keep punching away tbc.

we've been living in the patriothole world too long

resistancehole is good

sir, mister poster sir. doctor. my gentleman. why do you keep posting? madam.

Waste Of Time: Starbucks Closed Down For Anti-Bias Training Today Even Though We’ve Moved On And Are Mad About Other Things Now https://t.co/NbISPsOGCo

— ResistanceHole (@ResistanceHole) May 29, 2018

ahahahaha

https://resistancehole.clickhole.com/calling-all-resistance-members-roe-v-wade-is-in-dange-1827213172

resistancehole is justifying its existence

oh man, owned!

don't read the comments

not entirely surprising

People familiar with the company's thinking believe that Univision wants to sell its reported 40% stake in the Onion. Staff tell me that UCI execs don't seem to get the distinctions between sites, and some execs are "not even sure what Clickhole is." https://t.co/Wc3fp7cvl2

— Max Tani (@maxwelltani) July 6, 2018