VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

Yeah my klutziness is getting baroque in my old age. A few months ago at work, just before a big meeting, I managed to pour a cup of coffee over my head, and I was like "how is they even possible???" (Answer: Don't try to take something down from a high shelf and forget you're holding a cup of coffee.)

I cant begin to tell you the amount of times Ive injured myself in similar bizarre ways. My bf is convinced I am going to die from a papercut, stair mishap or drinking glass malfunction.

For example right now my right ankle is swollen up and bruised and *I dont know why*. I think it happened on NYE or a few days after at a mates house but I have no recall of hitting me ankle - but then again, I am constantly tripping over/whacking wrists/ankles/cutting fingers open etc.

My right ankle is totally the same this morning! And similarly no idea. It must be an epidemic for which we're totally blameless.

going to try to concentrate on mindfulness in the near term because my body's autopilot system is even worse than the self-driving car technology

Just now bought a beverage and signed the receipt with my right hand. I'm left-handed. I was like "WHY IS IT SO HARD TO WRITE!?"

Walked out of there thinking maybe I'm having a stroke. Then realized I signed it with the wrong hand.

I did exactly this last month

our office printer requires you to wave your staff id card over it to start your print job running

90% of the time i will try to use my subway card instead

about 40% of the time i will try to get on the subway using my staff id

i am an idiot

i also regularly try to get into my house using my office key, and the office using my home key

our office printer requires you to wave your staff id card over it to start your print job running

90% of the time i will try to use my subway card instead

someone at my work reported that their staff ID card didn't get them into a particular area... but their Nectar rewards card did

(I have no idea how or if this is possible but I like the story)

I'm choosing to believe it

Switch kettle on. Get teabag. Open cupboard, put teabag in mug. Do not pick up mug. Close cupboard. Kettle boils. Wonder where mug with teabag is.

This morning, I Siri-ed “where is my phone” into my phone.

^ a friend had a mini version of this thread on Facebook, starting from the classic "where did I put down my glasses?" while still wearing them, including someone who searched the flat for her glasses while holding them in her right hand.

One of my favourites:
--
*puts earphones in ears*
*plugs earphones into phone*
*puts phone back in pocket and walks down street listening to silence*
--
and ending with 'I've once or twice before told someone down my phone, while searching myself and bag for my phone, "oh fuck, I can't find my phone"'

My current version of this is:

1. Hmm, I wonder what's happening on Facebook, I haven't looked for a while
2. Opens Facebook
3. Nothing's happening
4. Closed Facebook
5. Immediately returns to Step 1

(same but for ILX)

Yeah,

1. Ugh, Twitter.
2. Double-tap home key. Slide Twitter app away.
3. Immediately open another application, in this case Twitter.

oh yeah, facebook and twitter are completely made for that

I've done both the "make coffee, but don't add coffee to the maker" and "make coffee using aeropress, but forget to heat water" lately

I puroed all these coffee beans into cofe grounds can instead of grinder adn hwo do IO get beans out of grounds now

I bought ice cream for the first time in a while yesterday. I’ve already put it into the fridge instead of the freezer twice already.
― mh, Sunday, 5 November 2017 23:35 (three months ago) Permalink

You're not alone. Did that last night, found it this morning. Au revoir, pumpkin spice ice cream.

drove all the way across town to return a library book
halfway there i realized i had left the library book at home

Yesterday I was texting my partner, except I didn't notice that she wasn't answering, and had a conversation with myself instead:

Me: I'm leaving work now, I'll be back hoe in thirty minutes!

[Waits five minutes, looks at phone]

Me: Oh, you're back in thirty minutes - me too! See you then xxx

[Partner continues not to respond]

Uh-oh, Chuck.

https://i.imgur.com/gmtjR5J.jpg

"Sorry. I'm late. Got here as fast as I could."

[Partner continues not to respond]

That feeling when you go to work every day and nothing ever changes should totally be named Sixth Sense Syndrome

misplaced a teabag in my house this morning--put the kettle on, went to my room to get something, realized I didn't remember what I was going to get, then returned to the kitchen, but the teabag magically disappeared. my girlfriend is going to dig it up in a very strange place, i'm sure of it.

years ago i unlocked our driveway gate to take out the garbage & couldnt find the padlock when i went back to close the gate. never did find it, god knows what i did with it :/

Once I asked B "who was it in that movie... you know, the one about the cop who is a robot?"

"...you mean Robocop?" he said with that familiar, exasperated patient look.

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BOGU1NGM5ZjEtN2MyZC00MGM1LWExYTQtMzA5ZGZkNDQ3OGMxXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNTY2MDA5ODI@._V1_.jpg

Inspector gadget?

You can sing 'he's a robot. he's a cop. he's a robot cop' to the Robocop music too.
This is the most reliable indicator of a great movie

Bought a takeaway coffee this morning, put it down on my desk and forgot to drink it. It's gone cold now :(

;_;

to the microwave!

walked out of my apartment this morning with my zipper down and two different shoes on

I always wear two different shoes - my feet won't fit into just one.

But I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT.

I think my little brother used to do that intentionally for a while in the mid 80s.
Fickle fashion etc.

& odd shoes can mean odd shoe heights which makes it harder to walk at the best of times. I think shoe heels even on men's shoes vary quite a bit.
But apparently it looked 'different' enough to be worthwhile for him.

I think my little brother used to do that intentionally for a while in the mid 80s.
Fickle fashion etc.

kinda surprised this has never been a thing

look at her, she MATCHES

Just tried to plug my headphones into my (phone shaped) calculator.

gleep glorp

question: what are you doing with a calculator

never you mind

lol

I bought Prince Tronic at my daughter's school jumble sale about 12 years ago for $2, and for whatever reason I think it's a beautiful object. I work in science and have a semi regular need to divide this by that, etc., and to me it's a lot more satisfying to tap the buttons than do yet another thing on my phone. Also being early 80s tech, whenever you ask it to do something challenging like calculate a square root or a log, there is a pause of several seconds and I swear I can hear small noises of effort.
https://i.imgur.com/lD1uaGn.jpg

we were watching breaking bad today and a scene with skylar and baby was on screen. B lit up a smoke and i very nearly shouted “don’t smoke in front of the baby!”

That calculator is lovely, yes. Is there a general calculator thread? If not, there should be.

I still use calculators. They're like an app that I can hold in my hand!

Even my son, Sr. Fortnite de la iPad, likes to play on the calculator. Adding 12345678 + 87654321 and getting 99999999 never gets old, I guess.

1-2 times a week, I'll set something aside to bring to work (a book or beverage), get distracted, and be halfway on the commute before I remember it's still on the kitchen counter. When I get home today, there will be a blueberry Odwalla nicely warmed by the sun waiting for me.

was doing calc homework the other day and getting frustrated. answered a call on my celular. used phone as a bookmark after aforementioned call and couldn't find my phone for 2 days. i use calculators frequently these days btw