'The Day Today' -- "HELLO, YOU!"

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Actually, I might switch my 'vote' to Attitudes Night. Last televised hanging - "The initial euphoria has passed .. not an experience I'll be trying again." - "He's saying he wants you to give him a thick ear!" - kiddy pool - "Ta-ra yeh shitter!"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:22 (twenty years ago) link

must....buy...dvd...already...

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:24 (twenty years ago) link

teenage boy roasts himself in homage to chris kelly...

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:26 (twenty years ago) link

I'm surprised at how easily 'll quote scriptur and verse, when an equivalent run on Monty Python/Father Ted/The Simpsons would have me curling my toes from about five posts in. I think it's because this is a thread explicitly about quotes, and also for some reason it hasn't become a cultural reference point on the scale of the other three.

Also I'm assuming this thread will be politely deleted after we're done.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:27 (twenty years ago) link

what about jam!??!!?

and i think collaterlie sisters is so hot!

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:27 (twenty years ago) link

what am i, fuckin noddy?!

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:28 (twenty years ago) link

Soemthing that I suspect may have been mentioned before: It's not a very "Alan Partridge" Alan Partridge, is it? He's not pathetic as much as just a fool. Was the "Knowing Me Knowing You" AP also like this?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:30 (twenty years ago) link

exactly. i think jam is more twisted and subversive then the day today or brass eye.

but i love being able to watch steve coogan AND chris morris at the same time.

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:30 (twenty years ago) link

xpost to enrique

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:31 (twenty years ago) link

It may be more twisted and subversive but it isn't anywhere near as funny

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:32 (twenty years ago) link

jam is whack next to blue jam; if it's more experimental, it's less funny/cutting. obv it's grate, but not *as* great.

All three AP series have showcased different Alans, and the radio shows were also different -- nothing wrong with that.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:33 (twenty years ago) link

To Jockey, "Shouldn't you be at school then?"

"No, I'm 34."

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:33 (twenty years ago) link

The Day Today: News Felch.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:33 (twenty years ago) link

Yes, it's in a different business, it's looking to be Art rather than have people creased over in front of the telly.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:34 (twenty years ago) link

chris morris is working on something new isn't he?

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:35 (twenty years ago) link

There was something about a collaboration between him and Charlie Brooker, which would cause my trousers to explode and no mistake.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:36 (twenty years ago) link

It's based on the Nathan Barley character and the little things I hear about it don't make me very excited. I think the blue jam monologues are his absolute pinnacle but I can see that they might be a bit of a dead end.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:46 (twenty years ago) link

i saw a drama about date rape on BBC2 last week that was so absurd i was sure Morris had a hand in it.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:49 (twenty years ago) link

I think Brooker co-wrote Paedogeddon too. To be honest, I'd rather see him as a co-writer with Morris after seeing the absolute shittery that was the TVGoHome TV prog.

Search - The Chris Morris Show on Radio One.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:50 (twenty years ago) link

MORRIS: If you could read out this complaint which you have just written?

MAN: I shall indeed.

MORRIS: Grasp the candle.

MAN: Sorry?

MORRIS: And bang on.

MAN: And bang on. [Starts reading] I would like to complain about the entirely slack monitoring of the shape of broadcasters' mouths. As a recruitment officer, I know it is a simple matter when appointing staff to filter out those with unusual or disgusting mouths at the interview stage. Yet our screens are plagued with the likes Gavin Estlar, whose mouth is not only so ill-governed it looks like it is trying to escape from his face, but is grotesquely lopsided. A balanced view from that? In a chimp's cock. Surely the time has come for the BBC to face up to this demoralising assault and sack anyone... [turns the page] ...whose mouth does not conform to a reasonable standard. Perhaps mine. Point at mouth. Regular, neat and I've had the stretch marks dealt with. Do it or I'll ram you up your own... fudge tunnels? Thank you.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:51 (twenty years ago) link

Morris working with Brooker is a bit like Morrissey working with Gene, isn't it?

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:53 (twenty years ago) link

chris morris as fred durst is one of the greatest things ever

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:54 (twenty years ago) link

The Chris Morris show on R1 needs a CD release. I still don't know whether to belive all the outside broadcasts -- making a guy take a taxi from Cambridge railway station and... I forget, but it was total and utter genius.

Don't teach your grandmother to *blank* eggs.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:54 (twenty years ago) link

(Radio 1 show) phone call to Heathrow Air-Traffic Control:

"When planes taxi, is it because they want to sniff the terminal?"

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:55 (twenty years ago) link

Morris's sidekick for the R1 Music Shows - Baynham. Vini Reilly in other words. Is it too much to wish that they'd work together again?

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:59 (twenty years ago) link

I think we should post to other threads in a Chris Morris style. Like a badger's nonce.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:01 (twenty years ago) link

I think Brooker co-wrote Paedogeddon too.

That'll be why it wasn't as good as the earlier ones then. Bring Back Baynham!

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:04 (twenty years ago) link

This man, is HE cool? What about him? Is HE cool? Look at me, am I COOL? Am I REALLY? Am I really COOL?????

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:04 (twenty years ago) link

"It's easy to kill a ferret, you just kick it's face off".

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:05 (twenty years ago) link

where in shitting crikey is my nose?

― ENRQ (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:06 (twenty years ago) link

Car drives past supermarket in town.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:08 (twenty years ago) link

anyone remember not necessarily the news, used to on the HBO?

great reagan era news schtick. i'd love to see what how it translates today.

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:09 (twenty years ago) link

We didn't ask for this war, we've been made to swallow the egg of an angry political goose.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:09 (twenty years ago) link

"It's WAR!"

*set immediately transforms*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 14:25 (twenty years ago) link

"... like some crazy Trojan"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 14:26 (twenty years ago) link

"As I was swirling the toothpaste from my mouth this morning, a soldier's head flew by my window, on its lips the single word... victory"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 14:27 (twenty years ago) link

"SOR-TED! SOR-TED! SOR-TED!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 14:40 (twenty years ago) link

"All bodily fluids shown are the ones which actually emerged at the time"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 14:40 (twenty years ago) link

mud the far cuss.

fucking hell it's good to have it all on DVD!

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 16:23 (twenty years ago) link

My VHS copy had two 'hidden tracks' (presumably on the DVD too) - one of which was Partridge's golf commentary, "what do you get if you combine the grace and agility of a ballerina with the hard-nosed features of a bastard? Ballesteros was his answer."

― wombatX (wombatX), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 22:31 (twenty years ago) link

I remember reading an interview with Morris when he said he was disappointed that this programme has had no effect whatsoever on curbing the sillier aspects of the real news. If anything the silly graphics on the real news have got sillier since The Day Today.

The new editor of... one of the terrestrial news programmes (can't remember) was interviewed in the press the other day and claimed to have never seen The Day Today, which I thought was pretty pathetic.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 22:36 (twenty years ago) link

My VHS copy had two 'hidden tracks'

Those would be two of the mininews segments (all of which are indeed on the DVD). More about the mininews stuff here.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 22:59 (twenty years ago) link

On the DVD, the Chris/Alan extra audio track about conspiracies is truly strange.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 01:09 (twenty years ago) link

The reunion audio track is strange too.

"I'd love to be your twins."

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 01:39 (twenty years ago) link

"Why don't I use real people instead of dead ones? I dunno, y'see I.. It's power - I want power!"

The last bit is actually (from memory) "I want a tower! I want... I want a tower." Because just previous to this this character was talking about controlling a whole town of anamatronic dead people from a tower.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 01:45 (twenty years ago) link

one year passes...

"Enviromation from me, Rosie May. Scientists in Alaska have found a gap between the horizon and the Earth..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 13 August 2005 22:35 (eighteen years ago) link

"what...is a gay?

― , Saturday, 13 August 2005 23:04 (eighteen years ago) link

"Ich nichten lichten..."

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Sunday, 14 August 2005 06:17 (eighteen years ago) link

'could you sum it up in a word?'

'no'

'a sound?'

'wurrgh!'

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Sunday, 14 August 2005 09:35 (eighteen years ago) link

"right, free swim!"

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Sunday, 14 August 2005 09:48 (eighteen years ago) link

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