another maniacal Armond White review, this time "Fahrenheit 9/11"

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Sentence most in need of an editor: “Plain, neo-realist beauty exposes the useless, cynical sanctimony of three ahistorical, sanctimonious, paranoid fantasies.”

Fred Klinkenberg (Eric H.), Friday, 5 January 2018 23:25 (eight years ago)

But Jesus wept "Edgar Wright’s autism action film" - stfu man!

Can I confess that I had no idea wtf he was talking about here? So, Baby was autistic? Or Wright is somehow crafting an "autistic" style of filmmaking (whatever that means)? Seriously, what the hell is he talking about?

iCloudius (cryptosicko), Friday, 5 January 2018 23:51 (eight years ago)

It's the point behind his original review: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/448901/baby-driver-almost-great-beguiled-hipsterdom-last-knight-pyrotechnics

Never Learn To Mike Love (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 6 January 2018 00:02 (eight years ago)

I actually agree with about half of his review of The Post.

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 6 January 2018 00:10 (eight years ago)

I'm probably a bad person, but I do occasionally agree with him

oh come on
armond is great
(imo)
agreeing with a controversial critic does not make anyone a "bad person." i'm sick of that leap people make with controversial people.

flappy bird, Saturday, 6 January 2018 00:14 (eight years ago)

one month passes...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DWg1CGJXkAAoS99.jpg

na (NA), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 18:32 (eight years ago)

oh god just heard about his latest. Look I love when he's a mischievous pill when he's writing about movies, but this kinda shit is disgusting

flappy bird, Wednesday, 21 February 2018 18:39 (eight years ago)

It's ... admirable isn't the word for it, but it's something how many deeper ends he finds to go off of this late in the game.

"Minneapolis" (barf) (Eric H.), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 18:45 (eight years ago)

this is just boring though, like i don't go to armond for warmed over right wing talking points i could get from literally thousands of people on twitter, i go to him for shit like "the recent Eddie Murphy films that are so personal and ingenious, they transcend racial categorization.”

flappy bird, Wednesday, 21 February 2018 18:50 (eight years ago)

AW will be cohosting a podcast w/ Ted Nugent shortly

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 19:05 (eight years ago)

when you're an irredeemable asshole that everyone in your previous scene despises because you're an asshole, sometimes you run into the everlasting arms of the right-wing. they'll take any piece of shit they can use against the left.

omar little, Wednesday, 21 February 2018 19:15 (eight years ago)

The last straw. Never reading his shit again, not even for amusement. Fuck him forever.

Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 19:18 (eight years ago)

and he published worse Tweets about the students than the one posted here

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 19:37 (eight years ago)

the thing about this piece of shit is even his film crit has been full of this stuff the entire time. bubbling under the surface, but there. ascribing the worst motives to those who are different, or hold different opinions. falsifying their positions. positioning himself at odds with everyone. his entire career and at this point his life really is a tragedy. his voice was potentially important, but since everything he's ever said has been afaict disingenuous there's no point in even engaging with his work. basically cryptosicko otm.

omar little, Wednesday, 21 February 2018 21:07 (eight years ago)

He really was not this way when I started reading him ('97), at least to this degree. I don't think he did at the City Sun (a black-interest weekly in NYC) either, where he was arts editor '84-96.

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 21:14 (eight years ago)

i remember him being surly back in '99-'00, but i think around the time this thread started he began to go off the rails considerably.

omar little, Wednesday, 21 February 2018 21:19 (eight years ago)

I emailed OUT earlier today asking if they were aware of his recent tweets, and if this would have any effect on his future there. Just got an email back saying that they had received numerous complaints, and while they believe in allowing a broad range of opinions on their site, Armond's column had been terminated for "budgetary reasons."

Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 22:35 (eight years ago)

Can’t wait to see how he’ll spin that. Oh wait, that’s like his entire work history since 2004.

"Minneapolis" (barf) (Eric H.), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 22:40 (eight years ago)

when you're an irredeemable asshole that everyone in your previous scene despises because you're an asshole, sometimes you run into the everlasting arms of the right-wing. they'll take any piece of shit they can use against the left.

― omar little, Wednesday, February 21, 2018 12:15 PM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so fucking true

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Wednesday, 21 February 2018 22:43 (eight years ago)

two weeks pass...

Armond mostly otm on The Man Who Came to Dinner

https://www.out.com/armond-white/2018/2/27/seminal-gay-film-man-who-came-dinner-originates-art-shade

Might be one of his last things for OUT; I'm seeing on Twitter they sacked him over the Parkland shit. Can't verify.

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Monday, 12 March 2018 21:34 (eight years ago)

It's discussed upthread. They claim he was dropped due to "budgetary reasons".

...some of y'all too woke to function (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 12 March 2018 21:51 (eight years ago)

"We lack enough patience in our reserves to keep you employed any longer."

morning wood truancy (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 12 March 2018 21:59 (eight years ago)

I checked with someone who works there and they said they had no knowledge that he'd been terminated, so.

"Minneapolis" (barf) (Eric H.), Monday, 12 March 2018 22:41 (eight years ago)

I have the email from OUT saying that they weren't running his column anymore.

Dangleballs and the Ballerina (cryptosicko), Monday, 12 March 2018 23:18 (eight years ago)

nine months pass...

We're done now

Photoshop can be problematic. But it can also make great agit-prop. Thanks Gary L. Oliver. @greggutfeld @frankrichny @LakeGregory pic.twitter.com/EULbKW40xR

— armond white (@3xchair) January 11, 2019

forrest drumpf (Eric H.), Friday, 11 January 2019 00:02 (seven years ago)

His work is now impossible to read. Whenever I click a national review link, which isn’t often, I get a pop up a out being the millionth visitor click here to redeem your free ipad

Trϵϵship, Friday, 11 January 2019 00:07 (seven years ago)

His work is now impossible to read. Whenever I click a national review link, which isn’t often, I get a pop up a out being the millionth visitor click here to redeem your free ipad

Trϵϵship, Friday, 11 January 2019 00:07 (seven years ago)

Sorry for the duplicate

Trϵϵship, Friday, 11 January 2019 00:07 (seven years ago)

You're The One Millionth ILX Double Poster! You Win An iPad!

Infidels, Like Dylan In The Eighties (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 11 January 2019 00:13 (seven years ago)

Armond's description of this as "great agit-prop" goes a long way towards explaining his taste in movies.

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Friday, 11 January 2019 00:56 (seven years ago)

this shit bums me out because his reviews are so insane and often inscrutable in a really beautiful way, when he's sharing right-wing boomer memes it's so boring.

flappy bird, Friday, 11 January 2019 04:19 (seven years ago)

four months pass...

To trust that we know the difference between fantasy and reality isn’t the same as desensitizing us to violence, not the same as the green-tinted Desert Storm bombing newscasts of the early Nineties that became the template for video games. Those extracted human life; Stahelski and Reeves abstract it. By the late Nineties, in the green-tinted The Matrix, the Wachowski sibling directors dished up postmodern rationales for dehumanization, but the green-tinted hotel-lobby shoot-out in Parabellum dispenses with excuses. The violent game is honestly understood as a game. At a time when a Trump-hating transsexual commits school shootings that trigger a coverup from moralizing phonies, the gun-control argument continues, but moviegoers can use the clear-headed catharsis provided by Parabellum’s comic understanding about the use of self-protective force. The certain popularity of John Wick 3: Parabellum is the strongest repudiation of political correctness imaginable.

omar little, Friday, 17 May 2019 17:19 (seven years ago)

Fuck him forever.

zama roma ding dong (Eric H.), Friday, 17 May 2019 17:20 (seven years ago)

dude was always extremely vile and his opinions always extremely basic college-paper level contrarianism, but he certainly has turned it into a depressingly long series of gigs

omar little, Friday, 17 May 2019 17:26 (seven years ago)

what shooting is he talking about

flappy bird, Friday, 17 May 2019 17:29 (seven years ago)

i believe he's talking about the Highlands Ranch shooting near Denver

omar little, Friday, 17 May 2019 17:31 (seven years ago)

Brace yourselves

Keanu's #JohnWick Parabellum joins a great tradition against political correctness--like Lillian Gish in Night of the Hunter. https://t.co/0JgDTqDXTE #2AmendmentFilmFestivaal pic.twitter.com/BxcxyUMQKG

— armond white (@3xchair) May 18, 2019

flappy bird, Sunday, 19 May 2019 05:14 (seven years ago)

Festivaal

zama roma ding dong (Eric H.), Monday, 20 May 2019 13:51 (seven years ago)

the beauty of his work is there's no need to click through -- we can derive enough eye-rolling and laughs from that lede without reading a word of the actual review while understanding how bad it'd be

mh, Monday, 20 May 2019 14:49 (seven years ago)

one month passes...

https://letterboxd.com/notarmondwhite/film/the-lion-king-2019/

Disney’s blatant cultural agenda explains the disaster of The Lion King. We can clarify the film’s deception by highlighting its production-purchase cycle and recognizing the unmistakable — not coincidental — political objectives of the filmmakers. This is how it works. It’s a Dishonor Roll:

Jon Favreau (Director): After turning Marvel’s Iron Man to visual dung, he is now Disney’s fake-reality hack and is key to understanding how this digitally rejiggered Lion King (like Favreau’s Jungle Book) continues the con job of Marvel’s Black Panther. Favreau’s unnamed African veldt might as well be New Wakanda.

Donald Glover (Simba): His dubious street cred as rapper Childish Gambino distorts the film’s bildungsroman concept, as he sells a CGI version of his ghetto-pathology TV series Atlanta.

Chiwetel Ejiofore (Scar): Evokes the grim horror he endured in 12 Years a Slave by voicing the mangy usurper — no longer Jeremy Irons’s effete, gayish, villain of 1994.

John Oliver (Zazu): HBO’s political “comic” becomes the herald of Pride Rock; he controls the film’s narrative.

James Earl Jones (Mufasa): The one 1994 veteran repeats his original role as Simba’s father, adding sonorous Darth Vader cred.

Alfre Woodard (Sarabi): The dotty house wench in 12 Years a Slave becomes Mufasa’s mate, Queen of the Pride Lands, and Simba’s mother. Progress?

Keegan-Michael Key (Kamari) and Eric André (Azizi): These peanut-gallery TV comics serve as Scar’s Spotted Hyenas henchmen, Antifa-in-waiting.

Seth Rogen (Pumbaa): Channels his dirtbag shtick into the warthog who sings the “no worries” theme song “Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy.

Billy Eichner (Timon): TV’s harassment comic, cast as the meerkat, harmonizing on “Hakuna Matata” about life as “a meaningless line of indifference” without irony.

Beyoncé Knowles-Carter (Nala): Not just Simba’s love interest but the era’s leading purveyor of Afrocentric kitsch. As the film’s cultural linchpin, she accuses Simba, “You don’t even know who you are!” Her rhythmic diction on “You’re not the Simba I remember” is pure Destiny’s Child. And during the live-action uprising, her call “Are you with me, lions!” awakens the Beyhive. It is the Disney corporation’s single most calculated moment since buying the Star Wars franchise.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:26 (six years ago)

what is "visual dung"

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:26 (six years ago)

https://i1.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/poop.jpg

mark s, Friday, 19 July 2019 18:28 (six years ago)

None of this wink-wink inauthenticity was a problem when Zack Snyder’s Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole — the most exquisitely designed animated film since Fantasia — respected the moral values in coming-of-age narratives.

bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:30 (six years ago)

does anyone pay this deranged boomer clown for his literary dung anymore?

bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:30 (six years ago)

xpost

You missed the funniest, and most Armond-ish, line:

None of this wink-wink inauthenticity was a problem when Zack Snyder’s Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole — the most exquisitely designed animated film since Fantasia — respected the moral values in coming-of-age narratives.

shared unit of analysis (unperson), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:31 (six years ago)

These peanut-gallery TV comics serve as Scar’s Spotted Hyenas henchmen, Antifa-in-waiting.

give the fascist narrative of the story, this is likely otm

Οὖτις, Friday, 19 July 2019 18:32 (six years ago)

Yeah, I realized I'd made an error not clipping the obligatory Snyder lickfest.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:33 (six years ago)

does anyone pay this deranged boomer clown for his literary dung anymore?

― bookmarkflaglink (jim in vancouver),

Noted dung peddlers NRO.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 19 July 2019 18:41 (six years ago)

didn't know armond had a letterboxd, thanks

flappy bird, Friday, 19 July 2019 18:57 (six years ago)

how much of that dung do lib masochists consume?

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 19 July 2019 19:03 (six years ago)


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