This is the inevitable thread for ILxors in their forties

i like not caring as much about ppl i dont know and what they may or may not think of me
that is the thing about my 40’s that i looove

Yes.

I can be painfully self-conscious and over the past year when this has happened I've sometimes told myself "fuck what anyone thinks you're awesome and almost 40 who gives a shit what anyone else thinks?" and it has actually worked. I mean, sure, I still have to actually remind myself of this but it's a start.

the thing that happens a lot for me is the realization that the person i'm talking to and hanging out with is literally young enough to be my child.

Yeah but that's been the case for a while now.

xp I'm still painfully neurotic but my mum told me at Xmas she stopped giving a shit a couple of years ago. She's 58 so maybe by my mid-fifties I won't be a complete wreck mentally?

I mean at least for me it's something I started realizing of teenagers about 10 years ago that if I'd had a kind when I was a late teen then current teenagers could technically be mine. Also, when i worked for that youth center and was only 2 years younger than one of the girl's on my caseload's mom.

Woah young mom!

And ok lol maybe we can hope for that. Also, my mom was on the older side (she passed 6 months ago at 78) so I think that just seems especially young to me.

I haven't quite figured out how to stop caring what people think about me (although I've definitely come a long way in recent years) but I've realized lately that I'm not really concerned with trying to impress anyone anymore. That feels like a solid start.

xp
Sorry to hear that ENBB. My wife's mum had her late too, she's 84 now, 5 years older than my grandma

Weird to look at old ILX posts from 2003-2004 and think "wow what immature twentysomething would say something like th--ohhh"

ha, yes

x-post Thank you, CP.

It's kind of crazy how we're nearly the same age but have parents decades about in age. I would still like to parent in some form (whether my own bio kid/s or adopted/fostered) and sometimes worry about being an older parent but I honestly don't think I would have been ready much before now at all.

*apart* not about oops

U all old af but <3 anyway

deems you’re older than all of us in spirit

Deems is our Yoda, hundreds of years old and forever hitting us in the face with his staff.

"Page-turners, they were not. The adaptations, even worse."

hahahaha

Lol

Unbelievably I forgot to tell you guys about the major corner I turned last week in my journey to senescence:
Bought myself a motherfucking lanyard neck cord thingy for my motherfucking bifocals, you fuckers! It’s such a relief. Why yes, I am the caretaker of this property.

People used to regularly express surprise when they'd discover that I was roughly a decade or so older than they assumed but within the last couple of years the reaction has been more along the lines of 'yeaaaaah, that seems about right.' It's been...humbling.

Yep, me also. Probably the gray in the beard gives me away. Or the thin hair on top. The circles under the eyes? Hard to say really. Surely it's not a reduction in my boyish joie de vivre.

My 40s started rough but have been pretty great, all told. Best decade of my adult life, for sure. I'll be 49 this fall, so ... hope the trend continues into years that start with five.

https://i.imgur.com/faJ2rWF.jpg

That one was easy. xp

Jon not Jon, it better be one of these and not one of those modern-looking lanyards.

https://i.imgur.com/h5h5DlX.jpg

^ uncanny resemblance to deems (xp)

great, now I have Shane MacGowan in my head singing “...and they called him the irish yooo-da”

xps

I am 47 btw, where the fuck has my life gone?

Jesus you old fuckers are mean imma leave this thread until my time

yyyyyeeeeaaarrrss from now

It's kind of amazing to me how many under-30 dudes I see whose hair is almost or entirely gone on top. I still have my hair, and while I don't think I look 30 at 46, I do look several years younger than I am. I think part of it is that I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I haven't got any kids. Kids make your hair fall out.

My hair on top was almost completely gone before I even hit 30. It was nice to get at least one indignity out of the way early.

Crossed fingers but looks like my hair is here to stay for a while.

god ned lord willing

Xpost to pplains yeah it’s that kind, except for a sort of black shoelace instead of a chain.

I'm still getting away with 'forty-ish', so when I do go grey or thinning, can't really complain.

My wife is ten years younger, so hey.

I am old enough to remember logging in to ILE with a PC that had a giant red SWITCH hooked right to the mother board on a PC that seemed as big as a main frame - and I still am able to leap 5 feet in the air - the reulst of good eating

"still" - a nice touch there

Was the five foot leap as a result of getting an electric shock off the giant red switch?

It's kind of amazing to me how many under-30 dudes I see whose hair is almost or entirely gone on top.

We publish an annual 4O Under 4O feature that showcases high-rising and influential movers and shakers who have yet to reach their fourth decade.

And whatever jealousy I may have had toward these successful people is completely off-set by how they all look twice my age. Apparently hard work and big money will wear you out!

that would explain why I've still got a full head of hair

Male pattern baldness isn't a choice nor is it stress related, if someone looking not dissimilar to Zidane or Larry David shagged your mam, then it's just a part of the ageing process! You think any of us ugly bastards would choose to look like this! jokes of course.
I have a cousin in his early 40's who is the singer in a wedding band who has had a Rooney style hair weave. He looks fucking preposterous, a younger version of him already popped up on your Swagger Roses thread!

oi zidane shagged me mam

I should've said those bright and prosperous people have lost more than their hair.

Not saying they're unattractive either. Just saying.... boy, I would've never carded any of these people back in my Liquor Depot days.

39
https://i.imgur.com/SoKxmtk.jpg

35
https://i.imgur.com/sid2dzg.jpg

35
https://i.imgur.com/M3ZzNWW.jpg

29!
https://i.imgur.com/VXoONRs.jpg?1

i thought i my biology teacher in high school said that someone's hair traits come from the mother's side via genetics

I meet up with a group of childhood friends about this time every year for touch football and pizza. It's been interesting watching us collectively age; it's like a 30-year longitudinal study. The men going bald on top have generally shaved their heads entirely and/or worn knit hats. At some point somebody is going to stop bothering and just go ahead and let it show.

Men on both sides of my family have died with full heads of hair so that's not likely to be an issue for me. I am greying at the temples and I love it, particularly in the workplace. Professionally I benefit from exhibition gravitas. For a long time I looked a bit too young to be taken very seriously and I'm glad that's ebbing.

Um, exhibiting gravitas

I thought you were meaning you do seminars and get taken seriously.

Ha, now that you mention it I do that too.

I got a pretty drastic haircut before Christmas, and I thought the dude was shaving Santa Claus as I was watching the hair fall down on to my little... barber's gown?

Anyway. Since that white hair isn't visible to anyone, it must hide under my regular hair - not getting light, hence its color.

scrunching nose when smiling makes me IA

i remember when i was younger thinking gray hair is no big deal but now that i have it i am slightly horrified

i don't want to dye it though