rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

"The brand is tired," said Joel Libava, a franchise consultant. "The employees even look tired."

Y'know, there's something here. I'm a shit fast food apologist and I've avoided Subway like the plague for as long as I can remember. The 1 to 1.5 times a year I eat Subway (on average) always remind me why I don't eat there.

Primarily, I don't like this narrative of sandwich customization and topping choice that Subway have cornered themselves into. I want a sandwich prepared properly, ideally by someone I can't see, and then I want my transaction processed by another staff member, as a kind of system of checks and balances. Many Subways these days are so broke that there's just one miserable looking teenager left behind, making the sandwiches and doing the cash.

I don't like feeling like I could suddenly have to initiate an argument with these people: "No, not that piece of disgusting tomato, the other one... That's too much mayo... Ok... Where the fuck do you come from where you put that much mayo on something? Have some fucking decency.... Lady, you're not supposed to wear the plastic gloves while you use your mobile phone, which you probably also use while you sit on the toilet. "

At McDonalds the sandwiches are prepared off-screen and delivered to me for payment by someone who does a slightly better job of seeming happy about the whole thing. I have fewer complaints because I don't see the process in action.

If I do have a complaint at McDonalds, the fact that I will have to complain to a politically neutral cashier after the transaction is more appealing than at Subway, where there is the nagging feeling that I should have complained to the artist during the making of the sandwich and that the fact that it's terrible is somehow my fault in the first place. It just makes me not want to go there.

McDonalds will survive because, to some extent a child can still point to a McDonalds burger and identify it as a burger. Subway won't survive, because what they make aren't subs, or sandwiches, or burgers.

so your theory is that the cashier needs independence from the sandwich artist because otherwise shame about the lack of artistry will be impossible to suppress?

It's the system of parliamentary sandwich democracy my forefathers fought in the sandwich wars to defend.

I don’t buy into the disconnect because it’s not a tipping situation (controversial)! Like who cares if you hassled someone about the placement or selection of ingredients because you pay a set amount and ringing it up is just ending the transaction, not a judgment on how well they put stock ingredients in there correctly

Nah, I'm with Fields. Shit ain't supposed to be like a hot dog cart.

only the worst drunks argue at a hot dog cart

Agree though that a franchise restaurant of a national restaurant chain shouldn't have just one employee handling food/counting money.

http://i.imgur.com/Tvfgnpq.jpg

lol pp

"It's all fresh."

"...is it."

Primarily, I don't like this narrative of sandwich customization and topping choice that Subway have cornered themselves into.

I don't like the narrative of customization in general that has sprung up in sandwich places/fast casual chains like chipotle and all the poke bowl places. Like I trust people whose job it is to create tasty flavor combinations and make them into menu items more than I trust myself not to point at every ingredient that i like in a vacuum until it all congeals into an overpowering mess.

Don't make me post the video for "Freedom of Choice" in here

But creating an overpowering mess is the point of subway...

Not chain restaurant related, but I bought a couple of coffee-wine drinks in cans at the 99 Cent Store (curiosity) a while ago and they were as misguided as that sounds.

http://funwine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/chard_splash.jpg

http://funwine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/cabarnet.jpg

Their web site: http://funwine.com/

It seems not well thought out that those pics seem to show the cans vomiting their own contents

no one told you this wine went from coffee to chardonnay

*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*

wowww

there is too much

we just need to do a rethink

nickn, thank you for venturing outside (into?) the can for evaluation

Taco Bell finally gets fries

http://thetakeout.com/with-nacho-fries-taco-bell-enters-and-dominates-the-fr-1822431104

Taco John's been had Potato Oles for years and they are better

Del Taco has decent fries, too. Haven't tried the TB fries yet.

Burger King’s chicken fries isn’t even a fry

hueg if true

https://i.imgur.com/xuJsk1c.jpg

"IT'S A COOKBOOK!"

While it seems like fool’s errand, Taco Bell has more space in the fried potato game than they lead on.

About what you'd expect from a 'journalist' who rates fast food.

voting other for 'perfect' because every time i hear him sing 'dancing in the dark with you between my arms' i wanna punch the radio because who the fuck says 'between your arms' instead of 'in your arms'? ffs i hate this cunt

― grim-n-gritty hooty reboot (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 19 January 2018 10:55 (two weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

heard this again on the radio and almost swerved into oncoming traffic yelling about 'between my arms'

ed sheeran's gonna get me killed before i get to look for the first time upon the face of my infant daughter

tbf, the ed sheeran flavored biscuits 'n' gravy are delicious

https://nypost.com/2018/02/04/doritos-to-make-lady-friendly-chips-that-dont-crunch-for-women/?utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_source=NYPTwitter&utm_medium=SocialFlow

ed sheeran’s fucked me up so much i can’t keep threads straight ffs

doritos sells sour cream flavored chips here, not sour cream and onion, just sour cream

there's also "cool american" which is cool ranch

sour cream come in a green bag & cool american in the familiar blue bag so I think they're not the same

I do not want sour cream flavored doritos

note that plain doritos are the best tortilla chip widely available here though they are still not great since all the corn tortilla products widely available here have a lot of flour in them instead of being straight corn, wtf

at one point I was unsure whether to be angry about "cool american" instead of "cool ranch" but tbh that substitution reveals many things

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/mcdonald%E2%80%99s-fries-chemical-may-cure-baldness-study-says/ar-BBIJqnv

Japanese scientists may have discovered a cure for baldness and it lies within a chemical used to make McDonald’s fries.

A stem cell research team from Yokohama National University have used a “simple” method to regrow hair on mice with dimethylpolysiloxane, the silicone added to McDonald’s fries to stop cooking oil from frothing.

so do I rub the fries directly on my head, or

My arteries are clogged with solidified fat but my hair looks terrific

xp
Directly on your thighs, iirc.

that Doritos article made me think of:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/powerful-pringles-has-unveiled-line-damp-chips-won-5938

I guess most of the articles posted on this thread might as well also be posted in the "things that look like onion articles but aren't"

thread

Olive Garden Italian Nachos

https://cdn.foodbeast.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Olive-Garden-Nachos.jpg

I'm listening.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-02-13/chipotle-taps-taco-bell-ceo-as-new-leader-in-major-culture-shift

attn landfill indie wannabes, "The Ailing Burrito Chain" is just sitting there, waiting to be your band's name

I don't know what to think, but I hope the basics stay good enough

this could also the beginning of real machine-printed humane meats, who knows

pretty sure "The Ailing Burrito Chain" is the subtitle to human centipede 4

https://www.therestaurantcoach.com/

lmao this dude

https://kajabi-storefronts-production.global.ssl.fastly.net/kajabi-storefronts-production/themes/409686/settings_images/zwkY7NiIRnSFx756z5Ff_TRC_Manifesto_5_.png

One is if your not growing, you’re dying

why is his signature in the Disney signature typeface

want action

make change

take crap

Probably a succinct encapsualtion of working there

ugh *encapsulation