US Politics November 2017

Like, of all the periods when the span of my life could've transpired, why did it have to overlap with a period where the federal government is morphing into a late-period Zucker-Abrams-Zucker production? I could've been comfortably interred in the ground for the past fifty years instead of bearing witness to this.

At some point, every warrior eventually runs out of arrows. His armor wears thin yet grows heavier still. He must lay down his weary helmeted head for rest.

Even Coriolanus was forced to retreat — at the behest of his mother.

Not so Donald Trump.

Not a weary drop of blood pumps through the man’s veins. He wears his thick armor light as skin. His bottomless quiver is never empty.

Ironic, since his quivering bottom is somehow always emptying.

Oh wait...that piece is serious.

"PS I am wanking as I write this."

i am not going to spend my thanksgiving break creating a fake D&D donald trump character sheet, i am not going to spend my thanksgiving break creating a fake D&D donald trump character sheet, i am not going to spend my thanksgiving break creating a fake D&D donald trump character sheet

gis for bottomless donald trump

Artist's rendition:

https://www.entertainmentearth.com/images/AUTOIMAGES/DC21024lg.jpg

STR 6
DEX 5
CON 2
INT 1
WIS 1
LCK 18

let’s not forget that the trump org gets paid every time trump stays at his own properties

As I recall, "That's called being smart."

wait has luck replaced charisma? damned millennials

STR 6
DEX 5

i'll give him dexterity for never having gone to jail

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a9/ScroogeFirst.jpg

gis for bottomless donald trump

wait has luck replaced charisma? damned millennials

Oops, it’s still charisma. Still though, those millennials

Like, of all the periods when the span of my life could've transpired, why did it have to overlap with a period where the federal government is morphing into a late-period Zucker-Abrams-Zucker production?

The fact that these things overlap is not at all coincidental.

Are you suggesting that I'm somehow responsible for the horrific events that are currently unfolding?

I mean, I guess it isn't entirely outside of the realm of possibility.

it's a democracy, man

you gotta responsibility

Whoops!

Roy Moore's communications director has resigned, @elainaplott reports https://t.co/RJQKjIcYn9

— Andrew Beaujon (@abeaujon) November 22, 2017

Don't worry, Roy, the president isn't super busy at the moment, I'm sure he can help you out.

Roy's response "I don't know what to say..."

Texas Congressman Joe Barton Apologizes for Sending Nude Pic to Woman, Not His Wife

ARGH NSFW, life, my eyes, anything.

NOOOOOO that pic. Do not look.

looooool

Artist's rendition:

https://www.entertainmentearth.com/images/AUTOIMAGES/DC21024lg.jpg

― Ripped Taylor (Old Lunch), Wednesday, November 22, 2017 12:38 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Thank u for insta-sterilizing the world with that digital saltpeter, TMZ.

trump called moore "tough on crime" compared to doug jones, so i guess being blasé about the age of consent is more important to the nation's well-being than putting away members of the kkk

also why are dick pics always captioned in the fucking cheesiest ways. porn has ruined dirty talk

Of course Trump wouldn't want to be put away?

sounds like barton might be added to this list soon https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/12RhR9oZZpyKKceyLO3C5am84abKzu2XqLWjP2LnQDgI/edit#gid=0

https://www.buzzfeed.com/evefairbanks/mark-halperin-poisoned-our-politics?utm_term=.rpLknd9V9#.ufW2b0X8X

that was a good read

All of these "why are these allegations happening NOW" questions are dumb. Like, no shit someone may feel more urgency to come forward when the person who abused them looks poised to ride easily into the Senate AND the current cultural climate is the least hostile towards victims alleging sexual assault and rape than it has been in most of their lifetimes?

Barton should apologize ahead of time for nude selfies

A friend of mine who was assaulted quite a while back felt told me she felt like a weight had been lifted when the Weinstein story broke; she experienced a palpable wave of validation. xp

it is the expected response from the conspiracy theorist mindset coupled with a total lack of understanding of what it's like for a female victim of sexual "transgressions"

xps to mr perry

That Halperin piece falls victim to some of the same sins he lays at Halperin's feet. As the author himself says a few paragraphs in, power is so diffuse that there is no small insider's club that runs everything.

Surely, Halperin had influence, but that piece magnifies his influence to the point of distortion. Retailing gossip as news is as old as the yellow press and likening D.C. to the court at Versailles is a trope that dates back almost as far. Halperin didn't invent that world or its rules. He was just another in a long line that runs back through the Alsops and Walter Winchell to others too far back to recall.

she

re the writer

Yes. You are correct. I made a factual error because I was too lazy to go back and check the byline. My criticism of the author's premise stands.

what are you thankful for pic.twitter.com/YUFKlF8zGM

— Mens-hevik Rights🌹 (@timerube) November 22, 2017

I can do without pictures, but I love how specific the apologies have to be in Moore-world:

Republican Rep. Joe Barton apologizes for a nude selfie, admitting in a statement that he "had sexual relationships with other mature adult women"

he’s a mature woman?

Ha.

(I assume he meant "other than my wife")

I see your point, Aimless, but the author's argument still stands that obfuscating the workings of our elected government as if it's the star chamber while also diminishing the life-and-limb significance of what goes on is a bad thing and Halperin has always been a wet buttsock for perpetuating that; if his ultimate replacement(s) keep that behavior up while managing to not jerk off in front of their colleagues at work, we're still not going to be doing great as a country.

obfuscating the workings of our elected government as if it's the star chamber while also diminishing the life-and-limb significance of what goes on is a bad thing and Halperin has always been a wet buttsock for perpetuating that

Oh, I agree completely with that part.

(I assume he meant "other than my wife")

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, November 22, 2017 1:50 PM (forty-eight minutes ago)

I read it more as "...unlike the other pedophiles and pederasts in the news".

It's as part of the quote that this happened while he was separated but not divorced from his wife.