A re-up, so you may have seen it already, but still absolutely worth reposting.
http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-one-my-garbage-sons-are-you-1458
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 20 November 2017 21:16 (six years ago) link
https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/23826050_1971430463097210_6741132498910659370_o.jpg?oh=4b8f1bde79e2176b00a16266bfae0e3b&oe=5A894BE9
― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Monday, 20 November 2017 21:39 (six years ago) link
lmfao
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:29 (six years ago) link
The garbage sons thing is one of the crowning achievements of the internet (no sarcasm)
― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:30 (six years ago) link
its one of the best pieces of writing
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:35 (six years ago) link
and we dont know who wrote it!
its not brendan ohare as someone suggested upthread btw, i know because patricia lockwood tweeted saying she me the writer in chicago on her book tour and the day she was in chicago ohare posted a picture from pennsylvania, i tweeted at lockwood asking who it was and no response
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:37 (six years ago) link
lmao
― Simon H., Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:39 (six years ago) link
this has been bother me for a while!
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:41 (six years ago) link
every time i reread i forget about the blowhole full of bones, it's so beautiful
― Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:43 (six years ago) link
the person who wrote that is responsible for most of clickhole's best content i think, and is probably the pre-eminent american humorist of our age
― imago, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:45 (six years ago) link
whoever they are
are you a big jazz boy or a little jazz boy is their other masterpiece
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 16:52 (six years ago) link
i just had to stop reading "Garbage Boys" on the bus because i was embarrassed at how hard i was stifled laughing
― faked potato (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 21 November 2017 17:09 (six years ago) link
It's a very post-Tim and Eric thing, the way "big jazz boy" "garbage sons" "nice dad" etc are repeated throughout.
― Evan, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 17:22 (six years ago) link
saab owners die angry
― mh, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 19:22 (six years ago) link
One time, all my garbage sons got together to build an enormous marble statue of me weeping in the front seat of my wonderful car. The base of the statue had the inscription “I Don’t Cry. I Saab.”
― omar little, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 19:27 (six years ago) link
― lag∞n, Tuesday, November 21, 2017 11:37 AM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
this prompted me to reread "the lake isle of innisfree"
― ur-oik (rip van wanko), Tuesday, 21 November 2017 19:52 (six years ago) link
― mh, Tuesday, 21 November 2017 19:22 (one hour ago) Permalink
I really want this shirt tbh
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Tuesday, 21 November 2017 21:15 (six years ago) link
The big jazz boy piece reads a little like a Ginsberg poem
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Tuesday, 21 November 2017 21:17 (six years ago) link
or something beat anyway, not sure if I'm thinking of ginsberg
http://images2.onionstatic.com/clickhole/5100/6/16x9/800.jpg
― crüt, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 08:05 (six years ago) link
Making Things Right: The Pentagon Is Launching A Ballistic Missile Attack On Hawaii To Restore Faith In The Nuclear Alert System
― Millennial Whoop, wanna fight about it? (Phil D.), Tuesday, 16 January 2018 21:34 (six years ago) link
Thanken to mein goode educatardo, ay rememberen thar sturry ov Jengus Christler dyinn on thar crossler far thar sens ov mandkindler, sparcefically masturbatarto. Thez ez warst sen en thar eyyes ov Godde.
http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/und-hungry-hogg-have-aten-oll-th-bibles-een-aur-ve-7189
― scott seward, Thursday, 18 January 2018 18:52 (six years ago) link
I'm in awe
― mh, Thursday, 18 January 2018 18:56 (six years ago) link
also, this. while i'm at it.
http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-dove-commercials-lean-pretty-heavily-biting-head-7128
― scott seward, Thursday, 18 January 2018 18:58 (six years ago) link
wow
― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Thursday, 18 January 2018 19:01 (six years ago) link
ha, Dove ads should be the target of more Clickhole imo
― kinder, Thursday, 18 January 2018 19:04 (six years ago) link
the Hung’ry hOgge one is an incredible treasure
― ogmor, Friday, 19 January 2018 12:48 (six years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/9p3DqtN.png
― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 19 January 2018 13:39 (six years ago) link
Finally:http://www.clickhole.com/article/much-needed-fix-ea-has-announced-upcoming-patch-ge-7188
― Spencer Chow, Wednesday, 24 January 2018 22:21 (six years ago) link
http://images2.onionstatic.com/clickhole/5156/3/original/800.jpg
― Spencer Chow, Wednesday, 24 January 2018 22:22 (six years ago) link
this is amazing
― while my dirk gently weeps (symsymsym), Thursday, 25 January 2018 04:55 (six years ago) link
Gut-wrenching: Italian Waiter Grinds Fresh Black Pepper Onto Daughter’s Grave pic.twitter.com/HBofeIw7c6— ClickHole (@ClickHole) February 13, 2018
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 13 February 2018 19:23 (six years ago) link
lol jesus christ
― It's not delivery, it's Adorno! (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 13 February 2018 20:22 (six years ago) link
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fCFRbcSmvCc
https://youtu.be/fCFRbcSmvCc
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 16 February 2018 07:30 (six years ago) link
Fuck, i dont know how to do this
Don’t blame yourself the auto-embed is pretty specific.
― direct to consumer online mattress brand (silby), Friday, 16 February 2018 07:31 (six years ago) link
truth...
http://www.clickhole.com/video/clickhole-presents-peel-7444
― scott seward, Thursday, 22 February 2018 20:10 (six years ago) link
i love the peel.
http://www.clickhole.com/video/peel-dad-ellen-stevenson-7481
― scott seward, Thursday, 1 March 2018 19:52 (six years ago) link
I guess this is old, but I had actual tears:
http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/long-road-top-how-bursting-various-boardrooms-and--2308
I’m not embarrassed to say that I’ve got it all: the corner office with my name on the door, the private jet, the black card, the villa on the Riviera, and, yes, more money than I know what to do with. And I’m not ashamed, because everything I have I earned the hard way, through years of flinging open the doors to boardrooms and yelling, “That’s where I come in!”
Sounds easy, right? Like anyone could do it? Sure, and who hasn’t idly daydreamed of kicking open a conference room door in an immaculate suit to announce in a booming basso profundo, “That’s where I come in!” Cue standing ovation. But the fact is, if I’ve succeeded at that once, it’s only because I failed half a million times. God knows I’ve barged through countless doors and bellowed, “That’s where I come in!” before finally reaping the benefits.
The truth is, on nearly all of the occasions I burst into rooms shouting, “That’s where I come in,” the timing was just not right. Sometimes, I’d make my entrance just as everyone was shaking hands and rising to leave; others, when they were still dialing into a conference call. Once, I hollered, “That’s where I come in” during a moment of silence for a recently deceased trustee. Hell, half the time I’d yell, “That’s where I come in!” only to discover I’d burst into a supply closet. Needless to say, I developed a thick skin pretty quick.
― Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Wednesday, 28 March 2018 17:50 (six years ago) link
Okay, you are Bernie Madoff. You had nothing to do with creating Mario, and you can’t go to PAX because you are in prison.
― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 11 April 2018 17:29 (six years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Da7UEMhUwAAoeHI.jpg
― na (NA), Tuesday, 17 April 2018 16:58 (six years ago) link
this one just killed me
https://www.clickhole.com/6-reasons-brandon-gave-for-why-his-dad-isn-t-around-tha-1825159411
― map, Tuesday, 17 April 2018 20:18 (six years ago) link
Diplomatic Snafu: North Korea Is Letting Trump Choose If He Wants Three American Hostages Returned Or A Mysterious Box That Could Have Anything Inside It https://t.co/9XuDxcJxkG pic.twitter.com/sR7jdi2uQf— ClickHole (@ClickHole) May 3, 2018
enjoyed this
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 4 May 2018 20:23 (six years ago) link
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--wYB1nGDr--/c_scale,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/mbagex8ncapaf15sbnfm.png
― scott seward, Friday, 4 May 2018 20:42 (six years ago) link
I'm a little upset that clickhole has a comment section now
― the yolk sustains us, we eat whites for days (unregistered), Saturday, 5 May 2018 00:09 (six years ago) link
Does it though? I may be wrong but it seemed like the comments were themselves a parody of a comments section
― Screamin' Jay Gould (The Yellow Kid), Saturday, 5 May 2018 00:33 (six years ago) link
Oh I guess I'm wrong - I think the comments on the first article I saw them on were just so dumb I assumed...
― Screamin' Jay Gould (The Yellow Kid), Saturday, 5 May 2018 00:35 (six years ago) link
Take That, Drumpf Lovers! A Research Team At MIT Has Conclusively Proved That Trump = Voldemort https://t.co/zrTsrhtNui pic.twitter.com/ErN3zLZMMy— ResistanceHole (@ResistanceHole) May 9, 2018
resistancehole
― sprout god (lag∞n), Wednesday, 9 May 2018 16:52 (six years ago) link