what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room

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Couldn't you 'accidently' break it or 'inadvertently' toss it into the street?

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

thinks back to see if stevem has ever sported a t.hat

there is a photo on ile somewhere...but everyone has worn that hat

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

That hat is a whore.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously guys my roomie would get plugged by anything with two legs, mesh, and foam.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't know whether to be aroused or baffled

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I have this spare office chair that seems as though it would fit the bill...

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

some chairs get all the luck

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

It's got three legs though, but she sounds as though she's not *too* picky.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear, I will buy you a pint if you can say with *total honesty* that you've never beaten off thinking about your roommate. And I'll buy you a chaser if you cried while doing it.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Um, ew.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously guys my roomie would get plugged by anything with two legs, mesh, and foam.

Sid & Marty Kroft bukkake party at Gear's house!

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I have never wanked to mental images of my roommate, but she borrowed a couple of CDs from me which were returned within days, scratched beyond any ability to be played, which did cause some wailing and gnashing of the teeth on my part, if that counts.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Ok, how could that possibly count?

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

well it's comparable to crying at least.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I see what you're saying now.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

The gnashing of teeth imagery suggests worrying comparisons.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Midge" over here just asked me if I needed a roommate, I told him I knew a girl who did. And now he's going on about how he just got a bottle of Jack Daniels and how he wants to break it in. that's for another thread, though.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000019GE.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

If I ever find out that you're just a very creative guy who made up the roommate, the midget, and the guy with the chickens to amuse your internet friends, I will never forgive you.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Personally I would love to play Jack Tripper for this young thing. But I'm bored.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)

shit man, get a smart sensible brunette to join in and Don Knotts as your landlord.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Really?! I think if he turned out to be making up this whole thing I would just surrender to his awesomeness and have no other gods before said awesomeness. xpost

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

my landlord sounds and looks exactly like Michael Caine gone to seed.

okay I'll fess up to the chicken feed guy, but I never meant it to be taken as truth!

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

you don't already, Roxy? =(

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

AH! I knew it.

I forgive you. I feel very relieved now, actually.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 20 August 2004 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

it's partially true, I did make a half-hearted stab at being an amateur P.I. but only received one phone call, from a guy who wanted me to "kick this jerk's ass, like in Cape Fear!" I reminded him the P.I. didn't fare too well in that film and he shouted "the hell with you!" and hung up. It might have been a prank call.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear!, please leave her the URL of this thread!

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Friday, 20 August 2004 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

...bringing the tally of demands to three. Who else wants Gear to leave the url? This is like choose your own adventure except it's some dude's life and involves ass sex.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

MY (CODE) NAME IS JONAS

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Friday, 20 August 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd like him to leave the URL, but I doubt its going to make her upset. If someone did that to me I'd just think "wow, my roommate was really obsessed with me. cool!"

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I think that not only should he leave his roomate this url but he should also quit his job and leave "agh my midget coworker has caused me trouble" on dude's monitor.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe they'd eventually put two and two together and LUV would ensue

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I could think of a lot worse things than a whole bunch of people on the net being told that I was frequently being laid by indie girls and saying crazy shit about bands. I'm kind of half way there as it is.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not even about the ass sex anymore, it's all about him complaining about her as a roomate in general.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Roxy, it's always going to be about the ass sex.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

BTW that thing about your roommate and the bill made me cry

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

But getting laid by indie girls is way more respectable than getting pounded from behind by fey trucker-hat indie-boys, CeCe

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

what about brutish trucker hat indie-girls? Whatever female variation on the "fey trucker-hate indie-boy" exists, I would happily join them in couch-tainting adventures and discussions of the genius of Jeff Tweedy. ESPECIALLY if I knew my hypothetical female roommate was gonna flip shit and post about it daily online.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"Anthony just said Good Charlotte is the best band ever and then this emo girl started blowing him! On my couch!"

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

if it were that easy even I'd like Good Charlotte!

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Whatever female variation on the "fey trucker-hate indie-boy" exists
aka "Gear's roommate."

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Milo totally otm. You'd be happy to have the fact that you're screwing really dumb drunk emo-fans on your roomate's couch emblazoned on the entirenet? AND you think Daft Punk beats sound vaseline-coated?! SERIOUS POINTS LOSS THIS WEEK

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

milo, I can talk about weezer for hours

roxy, if I was livin' the indie rock lil' jon life i wouldn't give a shit what anybody here thought.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:27 (twenty-one years ago)

hey, roxy, we should move in together! you could be the gender-flipped Gear!

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

What about getting pegged by fey trucker-hat indie-girls?

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously if I come home and CeCe's in my living room getting a footrub from my roommate I'll move out right that second.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

fuck it, man, if I get mine they can have theirs. OKAYYYY!!!!

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

LET'S GET THIS COUCH CRUUUUUUNK!!!!

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear's "puffy Angie Harmon" is still the best roomie description I've ever heard.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Although "porpoisey Angie Harmon" comes close.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

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