What isn't cool: hobbit sex.
You say that, but did you know that hobbit women all have thick hair on the top of their breasts? Changes everything.
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 13 November 2017 23:35 (six years ago) link
they haven't specifically said they're making it more adult tbf
― Number None, Monday, November 13, 2017 5:18 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
and I'm not sure the Tolkien estate would sign off on something like that
― Number None, Monday, November 13, 2017 5:23 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
There was a report a few weeks back that they were going to take a darker, more thrones-like take on the subject matter, but it seems like they are going to go in a different direction.
― bodak horseman (voodoo chili), Monday, 13 November 2017 23:48 (six years ago) link
The goofy happy clown direction.
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 13 November 2017 23:49 (six years ago) link
the elves are immortal so they've all gotten tired of fucking already. they're over it
― ciderpress, Monday, 13 November 2017 23:51 (six years ago) link
https://78.media.tumblr.com/2d0ef4d6fd1d28753baa0883b61bb800/tumblr_inline_ngfx0xABE61szmjhd.gif
― omar little, Monday, 13 November 2017 23:51 (six years ago) link
"When there's a whip there's a way."
"But you're not an orc."
"Context my dear Bilbo."
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 13 November 2017 23:56 (six years ago) link
LotR isn't nearly horny enough source material for prestige tv, they'll have to work on that a bit― ciderpress, Monday, November 13, 2017 1:55 PM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalinkit is perhaps the least horny literature― harbinger of failure (Jon not Jon), Monday, November 13, 2017 1:58 PM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post PermalinkDon't worry, the fans have filled the gaps.― Simon H., Monday, November 13, 2017 2:40 PM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post PermalinkThe exact nature of what's happening remains kinda maddeningly unclear. The two key factors:1) As noted, to what extent is this an extension of the Jackson movie interpretations, with associated backstory (not always Tolkien's).2) What is the estate's involvement, and what rights in question have been sold to what texts?― Ned Raggett, Monday, November 13, 2017 2:43 PM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― ciderpress, Monday, November 13, 2017 1:55 PM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
it is perhaps the least horny literature
― harbinger of failure (Jon not Jon), Monday, November 13, 2017 1:58 PM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Don't worry, the fans have filled the gaps.
― Simon H., Monday, November 13, 2017 2:40 PM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
The exact nature of what's happening remains kinda maddeningly unclear. The two key factors:
1) As noted, to what extent is this an extension of the Jackson movie interpretations, with associated backstory (not always Tolkien's).
2) What is the estate's involvement, and what rights in question have been sold to what texts?
― Ned Raggett, Monday, November 13, 2017 2:43 PM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Found it:
Amazon today announced it has acquired the global television rights to all The Lord of the Rings fan fiction based on the celebrated fantasy novels by J.R.R. Tolkien, with a multi-season commitment. The upcoming Amazon Prime Original will be produced by Amazon Studios in cooperation with the Tolkien Estate and Trust, HarperCollins, FantasyFuckz.biz, and New Line Cinema, a division of Warner Bros. Entertainment....Set in Middle Earth, the television adaptation will explore new, sizzling-hot elf-sex storylines preceding J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Fellowship of the Ring. The deal includes potential additional spin-off series.
The Lays of Beleriand indeed!
― bumbling my way toward the light or wahtever (hardcore dilettante), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 02:12 (six years ago) link
Beren & Luthien & Carol & Bob
― eeshTrip (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 02:15 (six years ago) link
they paid $250m for this o_O― Number None, Monday, November 13, 2017 8:58 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
"Legend of the Seeker" would have gone for a song.
― the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 20:45 (six years ago) link
BATTLEFIELD HAM dekalogy or gtfo
― mark s, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 20:48 (six years ago) link
oh god no leave him alone he's already dead
― the intentional phallusy (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 20:50 (six years ago) link
>>Beren & Luthien & Carol & Bob<<
I'd wear it.
― ian, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 20:50 (six years ago) link
this is v surprising news, because christopher tolkien despises jackson's films and has been consistent in his refusal to sell the rights to the silmarillion or any of the "history of middle-earth" stuff. my assumption wd be that "in cooperation with the tolkien estate" is just a nicety/PR formality and this series won't actually be an adaptation of JRRT's non-LOTR stuff. but who knows.
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:14 (six years ago) link
I think it's clearly spelling out new stories?
― eeshTrip (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:20 (six years ago) link
Speaking of "Legend of the Seeker," is Goodkind now pretending he never wrote a 17-book fantasy series? His website only describes him as the writer of two thriller books.
At some unknown time between September of 2016 and April of 2017, Terry Goodkind's official website was scrubbed of all references to the Sword of Truth series, and his Facebook page was made private or removed, potentially signalling that Goodkind may be moving on from his most well-known work.[26]
― jmm, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:20 (six years ago) link
maybe the new stories are stories by by christopher tolkien, at last his creative light will shine
― mark s, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:21 (six years ago) link
fuck you dad, hobbits suck, "in a hole in the sea lived a bobbitt"
― mark s, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:22 (six years ago) link
Oh fp
― eeshTrip (darraghmac), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:22 (six years ago) link
That goodkind factoid is super weirdThough tbh I️ too have pretended like his fantasies were never published
― harbinger of failure (Jon not Jon), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:26 (six years ago) link
He may have deleted it, but conservative columnist John Podhoretz had some tweet asking why the Tolkien estate was so greedy to ask so much money
you'd think the conservative ideal of charging whatever price the market would bear would have occurred to him. sheesh.
― mh, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:28 (six years ago) link
― eeshTrip (darraghmac), Tuesday, November 14, 2017 4:20 PM (six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
hard pass
― bodak horseman (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:30 (six years ago) link
Goodkind apparently identifies as an Objectivist according to wiki.Also who is worse: Terry Goodkind or Terry Brooks?
― ian, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:35 (six years ago) link
i suspect amazon wd rather come up with new stories set in the same universe than try to adapt a bunch of mostly unfinished myths and narratives from a 12-volume set anyway.
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:37 (six years ago) link
if there are no sexy elves in the first episode i'll be very frustrated.
― ian, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:38 (six years ago) link
it would be a bummer cause there are dozens of filmable stories from the Tolkien legendarium, in the appendices and the unfinished tales or wherever, that they would just create their own stories with Hobbits or Elves or whatever and call it Lord of the Rings.
― bodak horseman (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:41 (six years ago) link
ian otm
― mh, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:45 (six years ago) link
The Erotic Confessions of the Witch-King of Angmar
― ian, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:47 (six years ago) link
imo the whole Tolkien canon is overrated and the films were well-made if overwrought
having a really pulpy tv drama would be a good reflection on it
it should also invert the racism/sexism/perceptions of same in the original work to really piss off the purists
― mh, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:50 (six years ago) link
I guess I mean the Lord of the Rings ones, the whole Hobbit thing I kind of paid half-attention to on television and couldn't figure out why this fun reasonable-sized story was burdened by all this crap that was grafted on to it by all the later books
it's about this short dude and his buddies who go on a quest to defeat a dragon, not sure why it needed more than one movie
― mh, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:52 (six years ago) link
^^ hint: it didn't.
― ian, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:56 (six years ago) link
the first hobbit was fine, the other two unwatchable
― bodak horseman (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 21:58 (six years ago) link
most gripping dishwashing scene since scarface
― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 22:01 (six years ago) link
Goodkind worse than brooks bc at least brooks was one of the first to the ripoff post
― harbinger of failure (Jon not Jon), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 23:13 (six years ago) link
Okay, finally, an explanation as to why this is happening -- not too surprising in the end but here we go:
http://www.theonering.net/torwp/2017/11/15/104426-in-historic-move-christopher-tolkien-resigns-as-director-of-tolkien-estate/
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 19:14 (six years ago) link
his successor: azog the defiler
― mark s, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 19:16 (six years ago) link
How dare you say that about his sister and his wife. :-D
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 19:18 (six years ago) link
retiring on those super amazon dollars
― mh, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 20:05 (six years ago) link
bring on the hobbit sex I guess
― Number None, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 20:06 (six years ago) link
Christopher Tolkien has been the Dúnadan thanklessly guarding us from gratuitous hobbit sex all these years.
― jmm, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 20:26 (six years ago) link
as much as I think the LOTR movies are great, I wouldn't be averse to someone else doing them as a longer tv series, after some consideration. You could potentially have 12 hour long examinations of each book then and really do them justice but break them up in a way that isn't a horrible slog.
― akm, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 21:45 (six years ago) link
Well it won't be this crew, per the original note.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 22:15 (six years ago) link
Christopher Tolkien has been mining his dad's notes for flabby bullshit pseudo-scholarly volumes of tedium for decades. Amazon will just be doing a different kind of unnecessary exploitation.
― Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Wednesday, 15 November 2017 22:52 (six years ago) link
Tsk.
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 22:56 (six years ago) link
i think it's p ungenerous to characterize a guy who dedicated decades of his life to preserving his dad's work (and i doubt any of those books, bar maybe the silmarillion, made much money) as engaging in any kind of "exploitation."
― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Wednesday, 15 November 2017 23:01 (six years ago) link
obviously i want a full-length douglas gordon version of PJ's hobbit slowed down to two frames a second
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a31q2ZQcETw
― mark s, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 23:04 (six years ago) link
xp loving suffocation is the correct term iirc
would be amusing if they did unfinished tales and didn't resolve anything, or did a whole year of beren and luthien but restarted it every episode, kept changing the names, and never completing the story
― akm, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 23:08 (six years ago) link
I saw 24 Hour Psycho! well, like, 15 minutes of it. That was cool
― akm, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 23:09 (six years ago) link
"Christopher Tolkien has been mining his dad's notes for flabby bullshit pseudo-scholarly volumes of tedium for decades" that's a bit harsh but it is amusing to look at all those volumes and assume that he thought somewhere someone was really poring over every detail in them at Oxford or something. cuz no one is.
― akm, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 23:10 (six years ago) link
loving suffocation is the correct term iirc
And I own them all! (Even the ones he didn't do, did I mention I got the critical edition of A Secret Vice in the mail the other day and etc.)
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 November 2017 23:19 (six years ago) link
and therefore have no idea just how unfortunately literal that sentence is
― omar little, Tuesday, 14 May 2024 18:29 (one week ago) link
sauron in his cunning: https://toytales.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/DCS_2201-MT.jpg
― mark s, Tuesday, 14 May 2024 18:33 (one week ago) link
lmao omar
that is still one of the funniest scenes in recent memory
― ɥɯ ︵ (°□°) (mh), Tuesday, 14 May 2024 20:01 (one week ago) link
Oh god
― your mom goes to limgrave (dog latin), Tuesday, 14 May 2024 21:48 (one week ago) link
I will admittedly watch it, and will have a few laughs.
It's always good to remember that JJ Abrams is indirectly responsible for this.
― omar little, Tuesday, 14 May 2024 21:59 (one week ago) link
The second age is weird, there's like two epic wars that could conclude this series. Is this show ending on the first one with the fall of Numenor? Or the 2nd one, where Gil-Galad and Elendil get YOU DIED Elden Ring style by Sauron on the slopes of Mt. Doom? Would like to hope it's limited to 3 seasons and you get the downfall of Numenor this year and the final season depicts the established peace afterwards, founding of Arnor and Gondor and then the final battle in Morder...
And then can we get a proper showrunner for the First Age and Fall of Gondolin? Or just make the latter into a sick 3 hour standalone film?
Also now I really want FromSoft to make a game that takes place in Middle Earth.
― octobeard, Tuesday, 14 May 2024 23:17 (one week ago) link
All I want is a 12 episode Children of Hurin.
― il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR), Wednesday, 15 May 2024 00:02 (one week ago) link
Dare to dream
― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 May 2024 01:18 (one week ago) link
I’m not that invested in LotR so mostly wasn’t bothered by whatever bothered everyone about the first season. Except the last episode, which was really really bad.
― sctttnnnt (pgwp), Wednesday, 15 May 2024 01:57 (one week ago) link
“No, REALLY.” https://gizmodo.com/lotr-rings-of-power-season-2-behind-the-scenes-trailer-1851482298
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 17 May 2024 01:44 (one week ago) link