Real England

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All I want is a cheese burger

— isabel harvey (@isabelalice_0x) April 23, 2016

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 12 November 2017 23:45 (six years ago) link

Xxxxp a vitamin sample he bought online, lol

Anything with a suggestion of steroid abuse in the north has me doing italian chef's fingers, ah yeah, that's the real england

But doctor, I am Camille Paglia (Bananaman Begins), Monday, 13 November 2017 09:20 (six years ago) link

Yes that's very good

Never changed username before (cardamon), Monday, 13 November 2017 22:23 (six years ago) link

could be put into a lot of different threads this poster but..

https://i2-prod.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/article13898516.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/unnamed-2.jpg

piscesx, Monday, 13 November 2017 22:50 (six years ago) link

you love half dem acts

the intentional phallusy (Noodle Vague), Monday, 13 November 2017 22:51 (six years ago) link

jesus

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 13 November 2017 23:57 (six years ago) link

Man out of Courteeners called me a faggot once

Never changed username before (cardamon), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 00:52 (six years ago) link

Ambulance bosses react with fury to video showing man hurling abuse at paramedic

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/how-you-find-words-ambulance-13895963#ICID=ios_MENNewsApp_AppShare_Click_Other

lefal junglist platton (wtev), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 06:34 (six years ago) link

Sry still haven't worked out how to do links properly in zing

lefal junglist platton (wtev), Tuesday, 14 November 2017 06:35 (six years ago) link

Greggs launches Advent calendar - replaces baby Jesus with sausage roll @greggsofficial https://t.co/NGe5aY0fzK

— Matt Westcott (@mattwecho) November 14, 2017

Dan Worsley, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 17:54 (six years ago) link

Sacrilicious!

nickn, Tuesday, 14 November 2017 17:57 (six years ago) link

Just witnessed this giant seal being chased out the door of a fishmongers shop in Wicklow town. pic.twitter.com/WGlGxlAWfs

— Derek Byrne (@Derek1052) November 22, 2017

ogmor, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 14:05 (six years ago) link

i'm not starting an irish thread for that, sorry

ogmor, Wednesday, 22 November 2017 14:06 (six years ago) link

Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you pic.twitter.com/qCoF30eEWK

— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) February 7, 2017

Susan Stranglehands (jed_), Thursday, 30 November 2017 23:37 (six years ago) link

oh lord nakh talk to em

thirst trap your hare (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 30 November 2017 23:55 (six years ago) link

:D

Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 1 December 2017 00:00 (six years ago) link

I think this website, aiming to chronicle every homicide committed or attempted in the UK over the last 750 years, may be too real for me.

http://www.blackkalendar.nl

The admin is not a natural storyteller so the summaries all boil down to “convicted of hitting his friend with a lump hammer after a day of drinking and an argument about gammon”. There is a forum where people can point out missing murders and ask for corrections. It is bleak af.

Wag1 Shree Rajneesh (ShariVari), Friday, 1 December 2017 00:06 (six years ago) link

Margery Wilson was convicted of murder by witchcraft.. Was sentenced to hang but execution not confirmed.

On 10 December 1599 at Black Notley she bewitched Mary Rust so that she languished until 10 March 1600 and then died.

On 14 May 1603 at Black Notley she bewitched to death a cow (2pounds) belonging to Thomas Goodaye.

On 28 May 1602 at Black Notley she bewitched Bridget Bruer so that she languished until 26 July 1602.

Margery Wilson was a widow from Black Notley.

Never changed username before (cardamon), Friday, 1 December 2017 00:53 (six years ago) link

sometimes one...wonders...about the psychological subtext of murder hobbyists

another day another dolour (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 December 2017 08:24 (six years ago) link

Christ I've just seen the front page of that site, I've stopped wondering

another day another dolour (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 December 2017 08:25 (six years ago) link

“convicted of hitting his friend with a lump hammer after a day of drinking and an argument about gammon”

Some time ago I read the diaries of some sort of magistrate in 16th-century Bergen, Norway, and this is exactly how I remember more or less every day being like.

anatol_merklich, Friday, 1 December 2017 10:29 (six years ago) link

I assume in the middle ages and quite a bit later people habitually drank beer all the time rather than unclean water and this might account for the rambunctiousness of the times

another day another dolour (Noodle Vague), Friday, 1 December 2017 10:34 (six years ago) link

Age: 27 (28 after sentence)

Sex: male

Crime: manslaughter

Date Of Sentence: 4 Feb 1910 (for 1 years)

End Of Full Sentence: 4 Nov 1911

Place: Highweek, Newton Abbot

Source: www.britishnewspaperarchive.co.uk

Alfred Andrew Stevens was convicted of the manslaughter of William Ewings Sellwood.

He tied him to a chair and shot him in the head.

He said that he thought the gun was empty.

Presumably you'd get a longer sentence now than in 1910.

nickn, Friday, 1 December 2017 17:29 (six years ago) link

Society obv. wasn't in the gutter in 1910.

Action of Boyle Man Prompts Visitor to Stay (Tom D.), Friday, 1 December 2017 17:38 (six years ago) link

New Sunderland manager Chris Coleman was answering fans' questions on a BBC Newcastle phone-in when one called "for a chat".
Steve said he wanted to welcome Coleman to Sunderland and he was "over the moon" he was there before saying he had had "a few cans".
When asked what his question was he said: "I haven't got a question, I just thought I'd ring up for a chat."

Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 1 December 2017 17:39 (six years ago) link

steve otm

My local strip club appears to be hosting a craft fair today.

Wag1 Shree Rajneesh (ShariVari), Saturday, 2 December 2017 15:36 (six years ago) link

obsessed with the existential bleakness of this twitter accounts that posts nothing but complaints about the same four or five tv shows:

49m49 minutes ago
#pointlesscelebrities What a mean jackpot for charity. Disgusting.

10h10 hours ago
#jamesmartinsaturdaymorning A turnip and swede are totally different. The turnip is smaller and mainly white. The swede is yellow.

23h23 hours ago
#Corrie More of Henry and Gemma and Adam and Eva. Less of Billy and Todd. Even less of Angie. Please.

24h24 hours ago
#Corrie Ray Mears is so boring after Coronation Street.

Nov 30
#itvnews so what were the Chennai six actually doing?

Nov 30
#VictoriaLive Making light of a drop in net migration. It's still 230,000 more people having to be housed, schooled etc. This is unsustainable.

Nov 29
#PMQs If all these nurses are leaving where are they going. Where can they get more pay?

Nov 29
#bbcdp This Lord has waffled on and I've not understood a word he said.

Nov 28
#bbcdp can't listen to @OwenJones84 . Had to turn over to This Morning. Bet I'm not alone.

Nov 28
#VictoriaLIVE We heard all this crap yesterday. Typical American, far too much to say for herself.

Nov 28
#VictoriaLIVE How much more chat about Meghan can we put up with? Who cares where they get married?

Nov 27
#VictoriaLIVE Enough chat about Prince Harry. What would you be talking about if not this?

Nov 27
#VictoriaLive Harry and Meghan's marriage will make a fat lot of difference to our lives.


Nov 26
#Strictly goodness knows what was the point of that dance off? Foregone conclusion that Alexandra and Gorka would get through.

Nov 25
#PointlessCelebrities They don't even give ÂŁ2500 to each of the winners. Tight ass BBC. It's for charity for goodness sake.

Nov 25
#PointlessCelebrities cut the chat we are not interested. Get on with the quiz.

Nov 24
#Corrie I really don't think I can watch any longer. So many stupid storylines.

Nov 24
#Corrie This Phelan/Anna storyline is beyond a joke. Have the police asked Todd and Adam if Anna has ever been in their offices?

Nov 24
#SoundsLikeFridayNight I could hardly hear what Dan was singing unfortunately.

Nov 23
#TheChase Stupid quiz.

Nov 23
#VictoriaLIVE Aren't there more important things to talk about instead of Kezia Dugdale and I'm a Celebrity.

Nov 23
#victorialive Don't have a third child if you can't afford it.

Nov 21
#ThisMorning Gino's accent gets on my nerves. I'm sure it's put on to some extent.


Nov 21
#ThisMorning What is Trinny wearing? Stupid woman.

Nov 20
#ImACeleb No one in there this year that I want to win. Scraping the barrel. Not many celebrities among them. Watching on catch up to flick through boring bits. Seen it all before.

Nov 19
#XFactor Think Lloyd is the only one who can sing and he'll be suited to a stage musical. The others will soon be forgotten hopefully.

Nov 19
#Strictly Oh poor Jonnie.

Nov 19
#TheChase Joey Essex - it's an insult to charity having him on.

Nov 19
#TheChase where do they get these so called celebrities? One thick Essex boy, one Italian, one soap star and someone I've never heard of.

Nov 19
#TheChase How can Joey Essex be on a quiz show? Bloody nonsense.

Nov 19
#bbcsp Alastair Campbell is one of the rudest, most big headed nobody in the country.

Nov 19
#bbcsp Why does Alastair Campbell still get so much air time? Why should his opinion count any more? He's a has been.

Nov 18
#xfactor2017 There really are some saddos. Voting several times for Rak su. You're lining Simon's pockets.

Nov 18
#PointlessCelebrities Tight ass BBC. ÂŁ2500 for charity. Come on that really is pathetic. ÂŁ10,000 would still be pathetic.

Nov 18
#PointlessCelebrities Cut out all the chat. No one's interested in these so called celebrities.

Nov 18
#PartnersInRhyme Why don't they bring back the Weakest Link instead of this crap? Much more entertaining.

Nov 18
What is wrong with the BBC. Do they really think #PartnersInRhyme is good telly for a Saturday night? What absolute crap.

Nov 18
#GinosItalianCoastalEscape Does he really talk like that after all this time in the UK? Also where does he wash his hands when cooking on the beach?

Nov 17
#ChildrenInNeed Could they have easier questions on The Weakest Link?

Nov 16
#ThisMorning Rochelle, it's not Haitch and M. It's Aitch and M.

Nov 15
#Corrie Fed up with all the current storylines, Phelan, Billy and Rana. Get real.

Nov 15
#TheChase Stupid quiz. The chaser wins again. What a surprise.

Nov 15
#TheChase What is the point of going for the high offer. It's very rare anybody wins anything on this show.

Nov 15
#TheChase Too much waffle, get on with it. We don't need to be told twice what contestant does.

Nov 13
#Corrie Don't think we need this Billy storyline.

soref, Saturday, 2 December 2017 20:10 (six years ago) link

jesus this poor bastard must be strapped to the sofa and forced to watch shit they hate

Illegal Ethiopian Dance Music (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 2 December 2017 20:17 (six years ago) link

Pointless without the chat would be over in 20 minutes.

koogs, Saturday, 2 December 2017 22:06 (six years ago) link

more like Stadium of Shite

Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Sunday, 3 December 2017 21:13 (six years ago) link

stadium of shite morelike

Dic Space has been contacted for comment. (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 3 December 2017 21:14 (six years ago) link

DAMMIT

Dic Space has been contacted for comment. (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 3 December 2017 21:14 (six years ago) link

Have a heart man. You support Sunderland, have to take a shit, you're losing etc. Real Football more like. Or tragic misshapen stories.

Le Bateau Ivre, Sunday, 3 December 2017 21:21 (six years ago) link

xp that picture looks like a really disappointing rollercoaster.

Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Sunday, 3 December 2017 21:39 (six years ago) link

perfect description of the last five years of Moyes

Chunky Backgammon (onimo), Monday, 4 December 2017 00:53 (six years ago) link

not-so-real england:

Wait for it. pic.twitter.com/3x5Gv6PKsf

— Luke Massey (@luke_mas) December 4, 2017

mark s, Monday, 4 December 2017 17:47 (six years ago) link

We've all been there.

Dan Worsley, Monday, 4 December 2017 17:59 (six years ago) link

"All of the group involved were very apologetic, but this was clearly a call-out which might have prevented us from helping someone else in genuine, accidental need."

As if this man wasn't in some genuine serious need smdh

Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 7 December 2017 22:27 (six years ago) link

i fucking unreservedly blame Matthew Collings, myself.

calzino, Thursday, 7 December 2017 22:42 (six years ago) link

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-birmingham-42288252/prankster-defends-cementing-head-in-microwave

"Jay Swingler, 22, … said emergency services' time was not wasted, because 'they saved my life'."

mark s, Saturday, 9 December 2017 10:34 (six years ago) link

lol pathetic

The Dearth of Stollen (Noodle Vague), Monday, 11 December 2017 11:57 (six years ago) link

pic.twitter.com/Kuog4SszEP

— Andrew Sđź‘» (@bn2b) December 15, 2017

||||||||, Friday, 15 December 2017 21:04 (six years ago) link


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