Chicago: Smell the Glove

Now you get four glorious post-notice weeks. Those are the best. The best!!! It's a veritable FUCK WORK FUNZONE!

I've had lots of massages. You can wear your pants if you want - I like to be buck nekkid. You get under a sheet and lie face down while the MT is out of the room. When she massages, she only uncovers the part of you that she's going to massage. So she'll pull the sheet down to your waist and do your back. Then cover your back and uncover one leg up to the thigh. Etc. When it's time to roll over, she'll do this nifty trick where she lifts the sheet over you like a tent, and look away, and you can spin over without wiggling your bits at her.

Dudes (me, I like to say ladies and dudes when I'm being all funny and shit, but try to stick to "women" for ladies and "men" or sometimes "guys" for dudes when being serious. I strongly dislike girls, gals, chicks, or any term that infantalizes ladies. But that is just one lady's opinion!) often get boners during massages. Sometimes people make noises. People also fart, although I would rather die.

My best friend is an LMT in Oklahoma (and previously in Delaware and Oakland and Atlanta) and OH the stories she could tell. You are not the ugliest, stinkiest, fattest, skinniest, or most malformed that the massage therapist has ever seen.

Amanda, your hair looks really fabulous! The purple sweater really compliments the hair color, and your eyes are like zing! zip! zow!

17. vichyssoise

Also: what's infantilizing about "gal"? Because it's derived from "girl"? See, I thought it had the advantage of being an all-purpose sort of word like "lady" -- which I only don't like because "lady" makes me think of a very specific sort of woman, like some Upper West Side dowager with a mink stole. "Ladies Who Lunch," that sort of thing.

"gal" is fine, so long as you don't overuse it, like singing "buffalo gals" all the time and punching people in the shoulder constantly.

(All right, I'm off to see Los Fake Ficciones.)

I never say "gal", but it seems like a viable feminine version of "guy".

gal = girl, except you're a cowboy or a redneck. I just tried to OED it to back myself up, but "gal" doesn't have it's onw entry. It is, however, mentioned in the entry for girl as follows:

old girl: Applied colloq. to a woman at any time of life, either disrespectfully or (occas.) as an endearing term of address, spec. one's mother or wife; also, a former pupil of a girls' school or college; also attrib. Similarly, to a mare, etc.
1898 J. D. BRAYSHAW Slum Silhouettes 220 He lets aht that Liz an' 'er ole gal was going ter the Crystal Palice.

d. More fully, a girl about or of the town, a girl of ease: a prostitute. a kind girl: a mistress.
1851 MAYHEW Lond. Labour I. 477 The ‘gals’ are sure to be beaten cruelly..by their ‘chaps’.

So I don't know. Buffalo Gals is a good song and makes me think of Jimmy Stewart so it could be worse. I think "lady" is funny exactly because it evokes that image of staid haughtiness.

gal (GIRL)
noun [C] plural gals INFORMAL OR HUMOROUS
a woman or girl:
You're just an old-fashioned gal, aren't you, honey!

But, since people I like think it's cool, I will pretend that if someone calls me "gal," they mean to suggest that I'm a unit of acceleration equivalent to one centimeter per second per second. Because that's totally awesome.

And speaking of the big list of dictionaries on DePaul's on-line research library, lookit! A Dictionary of American Regional English!

'Cause I'm your laaaadddddyyyyyyyyyy
And you are my duuuuuuuuudeeeee
whenever you reach for me
I'll try not to be ruuuuuudeeeeeee

Although I also like it when Jesse says "Ladies and Germans."

-- Nutsy the Squirrel (rabbitrabbi...), March 3rd, 2006.

I say that? I guess I recall that. That's pretty funny. I'm pretty funny! (and a master of html, it seems, considering all the italics!)

-- Casuistry (chri...), March 3rd, 2006.

We're back to tasting again. Most meetings I have with people involve calorie intake.

Last night a friend invited Maddie and me down to Chi for St. Patty's Day shenanigans. Between the gigs next weekend, that, and Kelsey's party, I could spend the rest of my month in Chicago if I thought I could handle it!

I want to see a spelling bee where this evil judge keeps trying to crack the kids up by making them spell things like "titular" and "morass."

"Oh, by the way, Hot Doug's will be
CLOSED FOR VACATION
Monday, February 27
through Saturday, March 11.
We will re-open Monday, March 13"

Cal's, dude!