Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

It seems like a bad fusion of the concept of emotional labor in the workplace and unpaid domestic labor at home.

And then that got extended further, even to, like explaining stuff on facebook.

Also, maybe this is a little bit bad feminist/not-all-men of me, but I get annoyed when I see women who are basically young, single, healthy, childless, and not taking care of a sick partner or elderly parent or something like that complaining about it in the abstract. Like "yeah, I get it, women shoulder more of the burden in general, but YOU personally do not regularly spend your time responding to the constant needs, wants, requests, breakdowns and lash-outs of a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old. So spare me the lecture."

that makes me feel old, because I'm like.. where did they find men who are completely out of touch with modern society who can't emote or discuss things or do laundry? are they socializing with my dad?

man alive, that's not fair imho. i support you embracing your hesitations/qualifiers here --- people can stand up for other people and the whole thing with movements and consciousness-raising is that people discover that their own experiences are part of a struggle that includes people with other, different experiences.

even if you need it to be for their own personal life, you may not know what all they've been through or witnessed. could be speaking out for a family member or friend they watched go through X for years, and recognizing that that person doesn't have the energy or time to speak out. or they may be thinking that the structurally disproportionate burdens of child-rearing are part of a larger complex of energy-draining expectations and exploitations that they've experienced in some different way that's not obvious to you (let's call it patriarchy). maybe they're very aware that they are privileged in not dealing with this problem directly, and think that comes with a responsibility to not act like it's not their problem. or maybe their awareness of these problems has shaped their lives in ways we don't know - maybe they decided NOT to have children because of poor support structures for mothers... who knows?

disclaimer, one of the small feminist acts on my resume, which I do give myself (small sized) credit for when I'm feeling like a bad feminist, was speaking up at a meeting on departmental funding priorities, and saying that child care funding was important even though i'm a single man not planning to have kids, because it affects me in an unquantifiable way if my peers/colleagues are held back by these burdens. one of my affected colleagues told me it meant a lot to her, and that's meant a lot to me. so maybe for ego/emotional reasons this is a particular area where i'm biased towards speaking up on others' behalfs, while in other circumstances (e.g. stereotypical old-school white feminist claiming to speak for all women's issues) i might be inclined more to "oh who are you to speak for x?"

it is pretty not-all-men, yeah. i hope no one is really lecturing you on it, all the same.

"processing" one's feelings. It sounds so industrial. Who the fuck wants processed feelings?

where did they find men who are completely out of touch with modern society

Tsk. As if you didn't already know. Old people, rural people, young urban holdouts. Social change doesn't happen uniformly.

‘if i told you then i’d have to kill you’ strongly guarantees it would have been a painful story to listen to anyway, regardless of content

Charlie: Excuse me, Lieutenant. Is there something wrong?
Maverick: Yes ma'am, the data on the MiG is inaccurate.
Charlie: How's that, Lieutenant?
Maverick: Well, I just happened to see a MiG 28 do a…
Goose: We!
Maverick: Uh, sorry, Goose. *We* happened to see a MiG 28 do a 4g negative dive.
Charlie: Where did you see this?
Maverick: Uh, that's classified.
Charlie: It's what?
Maverick: It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
Iceman: ‘if i told you then i’d have to kill you’ strongly guarantees it would have been a painful story to listen to anyway, regardless of content

Aimless, did you read my second sentence

Yes indeed I did. Did you read my first (complete) sentence? I figured you had at least a strong suspicion about the answer to your first question, but your second sentence was framed as a question, too, making it sound "as if you didn't already know."

Internet communication is fraught with difficulties. Nuance may be present, but has a diminished impact in this format and so may not be noticed.

well, when it’s vague whether i’m questioning rhetorically, you’re they’re to take up my slack, so... teamwork

'fuck': 'fuck him', 'fuck that', 'fuck them', 'fuck anyone who'. things are fucked but i'm sure we can fuck the world to rights

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iOFKU_hwj2o

anytime a mass shooting or other horrible event happens, all the hand wringing about how shocked you are or how upset you are that you aren't shocked enough. not wanting this to "be normal" as if the world isn't a violent and scary place, as if sensationalism and interpretation of the news is all-important, cleaving righteously to an idealistic "normality" that doesn't and never did exist in reality.

At least it gives you yet another thing to feel superior about, policing people's emotional reactions like that.

In the spirit of the thread I'll point out that I hate the term hand-wringing as it usually refers to someone who's actually concerned about something rather than smirking down on people from an enlightened plateau of "rationality."

hi, I'm here to police your policing of adam's policing. you are now clapped in gaol. thanks.

The main bad thing about that post was that it wasn't about a word usage or phrase

in a similar vein: people saying they are "gutted" every time someone famous dies. I'm trying to mourn Tom Petty here, I don't need to think about your intestines spilling onto the floor.

that use of "gutted" has long been common in the uk but crossed the pond in recent years

was gonna say

I was having a serious "why does everything weigh more in the future" moment

when yanks say "preggers" i die a little bit in my mouth

even if i were english there's just no way i could use that word

"veggies"

I used to get the same reaction from "veg"

wasn't that in the very first post?

no american actually says "preggers" unless they're a weirdo or into some sort of porn iirc

you'll see it on, like, buzzfeed

that use of "gutted" has long been common in the uk but crossed the pond in recent years

― Lee626, Monday, November 6, 2017 11:38 AM (twenty-six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh, I know. I know what you do over there.

"something'-Dad as a diss, as in 'Centrist-Dad'. I'm not even a dad, but there's something a bit sweeping and generalised (not to mention ageist) about this. I totally get that this is a stand-in for 'middle-aged white man with condescending opinions', but it doesn't sit right with me.

no american actually says "preggers" unless they're a weirdo or into some sort of porn iirc

― mh, Monday, November 6, 2017 11:57 AM (twenty minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Oh, I've heard plenty of people say "preggers" and also "preggo". I hate it when people say "We're pregnant." No, you're not. Only one of you is. Stop this.

Pregrock dads

"across the pond" is bad not good

Not just because it makes me feel like I live on a water feature

Thoughts and prayers (from people with no real intention of acting constructively)
We stand with (as used by senior politicians increasingly on social media)
Lest we forget (from people who seem to want to make ever-grander visible gestures of remembrance as if they really are terrified or forgetting or having been seen to have not remembered enough)

fite meh

I wonder how much thought and prayer they even get around to doing.

How would you all feel about a joint US/UK adoption of the word "veggers"?

I think we can really make this one happen!

It would speed along its adoption, if each use of "veggers" was accompanied by a meme-ish facial expression and tone of voice, patterned after some popular sitcom character.

vegetables -> veg
mathematics -> maths

fuckin' come on, british people

Day veggers

sports = sport

math is short for mathematic

;_;

that use of "gutted" has long been common in the uk but crossed the pond in recent years

― Lee626, Monday, November 6, 2017 8:38 AM (ten hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

was gonna say

― mh, Monday, November 6, 2017 8:39 AM (ten hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i am of british descent but this kind of thing concerns me

words crossing the pond i mean

westward

i've already caused offense, should've kept it to myself