this is the horny commiseration thread

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ducks are poorly hung anyway!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Now that IS odd...

xpost

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

MY what a lovely duck!

http://www.xs4all.nl/~zesessen/grote_en_kleine_fotos_nogmeer/10fuck-de-duck..._groot.jpg

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Those are nice ducks.

I got stood up tonight. more ducks please.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

being stood up would be fine, so long as being bent over follows

― ()ops (()()ps), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm going home - the batteries, they call to me.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:45 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://www.kingdoms.co.uk/images/batteryleft.jpg

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 17 March 2005 02:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I can hear their sweet siren song now...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 17 March 2005 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope my life involves batteries and satisfaction tonight. I give it about 50/50.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 17 March 2005 04:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I've been a bit too horny for the last three or hour months, because I seem to fall for almost anyone who's cute and nice. For example, just a couple of days ago I drunkenly made out with someone I shoudn't have... Luckily I passed out before anything critical happened.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 17 March 2005 08:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Code blue! Code blue! We have penetration!

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Thursday, 17 March 2005 08:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I still think I owe her an apology, but I don't have her phone number, just an e-mail address. Is it wrong to apologize through e-mail? I usually think people should have the courage to talk in these situations, but in this case it seems kinda difficult (I can't e-mail her and say "could you give me your number so I can apologize you", can I?)...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 17 March 2005 08:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my god, I'm at the university library and I just walked into her! But she seemed to be in a hurry and I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just said hi and continued walking, and now I feel even more awkward...

Rule of drunken lewdness, number 1: if you're gonna make out with someone, be sure that someone isn't a person you're going to see on regular basis afterwards. Though I guess the rule is kinda hard to follow, it's not like this hasn't happened before.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 17 March 2005 08:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I'm still talking to myself.

― hstencil (hstencil), Thursday, 17 March 2005 09:03 (twenty-one years ago)

. . .

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

And?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Nothing. Teh horn rages on.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Poor Luna...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

It was a no go the other night. It's okay though, the weekend is soon.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I got one of the things I ordered the other day while supposedly shopping for my friend in the mail today at work - and I can't open it. Dud, dud, dud.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:16 (twenty-one years ago)

That's what bathrooms are for

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom...with this package....it's it's...presrciption toilet paper...yeah"

― ()ops (()()ps), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"...and not a bomb at all."

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

the buzzing? That just means.. um... look, over there!

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, just go manual...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

dear pig-tailed shop assistant in Borders: please, please no more low-rider jeans and restocking the magazine racks. It's been so long - hah, okay, who am I kidding, it hasn't even BEEN yet, that's how horny I am :)

― anonymousvirgin, Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I did that.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Just now? Or last night?

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Then when isn't important, is it?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

'the'

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 March 2005 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Well if you did it now, then you are more of a man than I, as it were. Kudos. If it was last night... well... y'know...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 March 2005 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I support you and your decisions and all the hard work you've put into it...

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 01:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, as it is 2 AM, I sympathize with you as I am too old to be cockblocking dudes. But at the same time, your masturbatory options are far cooler than mine, so I only sympantize with you so much. I'm Cosby Number 101: Drunk, tired, horny Cosby.

― Jimmy Mod Has Returned With Spices And Silks (ModJ), Friday, 18 March 2005 07:02 (twenty-one years ago)

im done getting laid. im getting bored with it.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

fuck you. go and start your own thread or something

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)

HA!

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

im still horny but its become a business thing and its not very sexy these days.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Gosh, the sun is shning, ~~women~~people are flouncing and the smily faces make it very clear that spring is in the air, and my inner Terry Thomas is alive and well.

― Dave B (daveb), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

and i am probably never going to get to have sex ever again. given the microscopic number of partners i've had and the sahara-sized deserts in between, i may as well give up now and become a nun. or just jump off a cliff or something

(it's a good thing i live in an almost completely flat county - there are no decent cliffs for miles. the nearest are in *norfolk*, for god's sake)

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 18 March 2005 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I should put a sign up in my living room: DO NOT TEASE THE HORN.

When someone says they'll pay me back the money they owe me in sexual favors, is it wrong on my part to NOT assume they're joking?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Nicka I'll pay you back. In RAPE DOLLARS.

― maryjanewatson, Friday, 18 March 2005 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm so glad there is a thread about sex, I was starting to despair in the asexual world of ILX

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

No despairing here, not when I have the people on this thread around.

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and hi toraneko! Where you been?

― sunburned and snowblind (kenan), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I was just walking behind some quite nice looking guy who had that great smell, like man mixed with old spice or something, and I just wanted to bite him.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been working! Too much. Also, unless the conversation is about sex or cats, my interest is feigned :-) Not true really, but could be ;

However, I commiserate with the rest of you :-(

Ahh, see, the thing is, ppl give all sorts of advice - like: "play with yourself" or "get a dildo" but what they don't understand is that *this just makes it worse!*

Am I alone on this one or what? Like, if I'm already horny, the worst possible thing I could do, if there's not chance of getting a bit, is to cultivate that feeling.

― toraneko (toraneko), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, recent research has proven that, for me at least, resigning oneself to masturbatory involuntary celibacy is much easier on the ol' emotions, in terms of keeping the horn manageable, than the unfulfilled promises of satisfaction that you get from the occasional not-particularly-good fuck.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost
So you're saying you rather suppress the horn rather than toot it?

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 18 March 2005 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

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