EXCELSIOR is the second solo album by British musician LOLZ Coombes.

Estela

where is estela these days, she is missed

She posted one recently on the Real England thread (and whoops on the misspelling).

she's on mi twitter feed

maybe someday reddit will produce its very own buddha who discovers that the suffering of not getting laid can be solved with....compassion!

― ryan, Tuesday, October 10, 2017 7:36 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It being reddit, that buddha will go by the handle "urea_fritters"

― Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Tuesday, October 10, 2017 8:15 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i remember shortly after battleship was announced, my friend and i came up with a really great pitch for a police procedural/serial-killer movie based on "guess who." cops getting new information on suspects, slamming desks, "damn! that rules him out!" "are we sure it can't be bernard?" "he's got glasses!" "shit!" then the phone rings, a creepy voice on the other line: guess who? end trailer.

― Doctor Casino, Thursday, October 12, 2017 3:51 PM (one minute ago)

hahaha

<3

the phone felt like a sell out. This isn't Dream Phone. It is Guess Who. The creepy voice should have come from a face concealed by the open lid of a briefcase or the screen of a laptop.

hahaha fair. i think we just thought creepy voice on the other line is a solid trailer moment regardless of how terrible your movie concept is. but any decent adaptation would be constantly finding situations where people could slam things closed. i neglected to make clear that that was how they would handle the framed photos of suspects, once ruled out.

http://www.gstatic.com/tv/thumb/movieposters/8906/p8906_p_v8_aa.jpg

D'oh

At the Interior Department's headquarters in downtown Washington, Secretary Ryan Zinke has revived an arcane military ritual that no one can remember ever happening in the federal government.

A security staffer takes the elevator to the seventh floor, climbs the stairs to the roof and hoists a special secretarial flag whenever Zinke enters the building. When the secretary goes home for the day or travels, the flag — a blue banner emblazoned with the agency's bison seal flanked by seven white stars representing the Interior bureaus — comes down.  

In Zinke's absence, the ritual is repeated to raise an equally obscure flag for Deputy Secretary David Bernhardt.

Responding this week to questions from The Washington Post, a spokeswoman for Zinke, a former Navy SEAL commander, defended the Navy flag-flying tradition as "a major sign of transparency."

― Monster fatberg (Phil D.), Friday, October 13, 2017 1:02 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

My wife has been inspired by this to suggest that I light our tiki torch in the front garden whenever she's home.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Friday, October 13, 2017 1:57 AM (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

maybe....not a tiki torch?

― gbx, Friday, October 13, 2017 2:36 AM (twenty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wow, you guys have whole groups of friends!

― Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, 12 October 2017 19:48 (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ned. Closely followed by Dan.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, October 12, 2017 9:28 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

And Tom.

― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, October 12, 2017 9:28 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

is ned aware he is being closely followed by dan and tom

― estela, Thursday, October 12, 2017 10:02 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

hahaha

Heee..

He is, though.

picturing dan on tom’s shoulders inside a giant overcoat

Ugh. Not really worth parsing that, but the obvious thing to say is that he is conflating sexual attraction with sexual objectification. It is possible to be attracted to someone without turning them into an object.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, October 17, 2017 8:34 AM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not if you're medusa

― ATTACK MY RUSTY TOOLBOX (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, October 17, 2017 8:34 AM (three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A+

nearly lolled at my desk, just beautiful

Slight edits involved

My takeaway is that we need to start a website that features the body parts of men (not their faces), the first of its kind, so that women can fantasize about them. I’m no entrepreneur, but I believe demand vastly outweighs supply, and it’s time to capitalize

― Karl Malone, Tuesday, October 17, 2017 11:17 AM (twenty-one minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

valerie solanas to thread

― midas / medusa cage match (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, October 17, 2017 11:20 AM (eighteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ftr, my part of that was meant to be read in the cartoon voice of someone from NRO's The Corner, which might not be obvious at first glance!

bizarro on fire across ilx today btw

that medusa joke was v good

Global Warming: Hot, Ready, and Legal

― jmm, Wednesday, 18 October 2017 17:44 (thirty-nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

someone was always going to say that after the magazine cover was posted so I'm kind of just excelsioring life there, or ilx

TS: Global Warming vs. Lindsey Lohan

i think if something comes from your heart you should go for it. this long thing i saw definitely felt mansplain-y and ME TOO! in an ego way. like they were having the final word.

― scott seward

you just don't manderstand

― Οὖτις

"I like to make calls when it's appropriate," says the guy who probably phoned Forbes in the middle of the night to complain about his rich person ranking

― bodak horseman (voodoo chili), Thursday, 19 October 2017 17:39 (one hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://i.imgur.com/W6fd68X.gif

10/19/17: El Tomboto accuses me of decency

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Thursday, October 19, 2017 7:42 PM (fifty-nine minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

wow, we ended up at dick jokes and Monty Python really quickly

― erry red flag (f. hazel), Monday, October 23, 2017 12:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's the maleness thread

― ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Monday, October 23, 2017 12:26 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

There's totally going to be a scene where he sews a dildo into one of those secret pockets

― Simon H., Monday, October 23, 2017 3:46 PM (one hour ago)

The strange thing is that in real life Daniel Day-Lewis is actually a cobbler and his specialty is embedding dildoes in the soles of his shoes. It's kind of ridiculous when you think about it, this presumption that knowing one thing could actually translate into a meaningful ability to represent the other thing. Hardly method acting, if you ask me.

― Moodles, Monday, October 23, 2017 4:07 PM (one hour ago)

daniel dild-shoeis morelike amirite

― clammy marinara (bizarro gazzara), Monday, October 23, 2017 4:13 PM (one hour ago)

I regret this.

― Simon H., Monday, October 23, 2017 4:14 PM (one hour ago)

there is a prominent ilxor whose name i won't mention who has a pet starling.

― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Tuesday, October 24, 2017 2:40 PM (seventeen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Is it named Clarice?

― Marcus Hiles Remains Steadfast About Planting Trees.jpg (DJP), Tuesday, October 24, 2017 2:44 PM (fourteen minutes ago

"he eats rice" is not actually a sick burn, I say fruitlessly into the whirlwind as fellow lefties prepare their blistering "lol he eats rice" takes

― she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Tuesday, October 24, 2017 3:06 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No no, if anything 'awww, he sure loves his rice!' will be one of the heartwarmingly normalizing things we'll say about that rascal Trump once he's out of office.

Oops, wrong thread, whatevs

I get exactly 0 vindication or pleasure from these fucks announcing they won't seek reelection and making empty, lofty speeches. A lot of democrat supporters really have a fetish for these sorts of moments, these blustery condemnations that sound like Jack Nicholson delivering "You can't handle the truth." idgi. They amount to exactly nothing. Tell me a democrat has a good chance of winning one of their seats in 2018, then I'll be happy.

― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Tuesday, October 24, 2017 4:48 PM (six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A Democrat has a good chance of winning Flake's seat in 2018

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, October 24, 2017 4:49 PM (five minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

now tell me how handsome i am

― j., Tuesday, October 24, 2017 4:50 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah I liked that one too

garbage in, garbage out. and human beings are garbage.

― bob lefse (rushomancy), Thursday, October 26, 2017 10:07 AM (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and that's why my human sausages taste like garbage

― Mordy, Thursday, October 26, 2017 10:09 AM (five hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://theyearofhalloween.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/stephen-gammell-illustration-for-scary-stories-to-tell-in-the-dark-2-wonderful-sausage.gif

Arm goin ham

I used to work with a guy who dressed like zorro every year and he was the ONLY guy in the office who dressed for Halloween. It was kinda funny, though.. Zorro sitting in front of a computer, typing something, sipping coffee
― brimstead, Saturday, October 28, 2017 2:07 AM

There's always juan
― Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Saturday, October 28, 2017 2:08 AM

:/

what can i say, i'm a cheap date

Where would we be without our fans

:/

that is probably in the top 10% best excelsiors in this thread tbf

I see no problem with this

on an unrelated note hey ulysses check out these armpit noises