RIP David Brooks

Lately I've been thinking about whether Bret Stephens may in fact be worse than David Brooks, and whether he deserves his own thread

This local restaurant, kind of a neighborhood place with pretty generic american fare prepared well, has some menu item with a title like "Chef's Favorite Chicken."

The waitress explained to us that it is, in fact, Chicken Souvlaki but they were puzzled it wasn't getting ordered very much so they changed the name. It's now one of their most popular dishes

Customer base is mostly white midwesterners, middle class income, seemed to be mostly people 50+ years old and a handful of families with kids

― mh, Thursday, September 14, 2017 10:06 AM

The rhythm of these sentences has the zonked-out pseudo-erudition of the average Brooks column

I'm not ragging on you btw! I'm pointing out how they're an eerie Brooks copy

Stephens was hired specifically to be worse than Brooks, but Brooks is rising to the challenge

shakey mo collier has been falsely getting my hopes up for more than ten years now

epic troll

I’m officially a fan of this idea that DB has outsourced his column to a ghost, like Jim Davis or Garry Trudeau did with their respective predictable effluvia

jesus christ

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/29/opinion/what-sincerity-looks-like.html?mcubz=3

the only small consolation from that dreck is that he didn't turn it into a metaphor for Obama vs. Hillary, which is what I was expecting.

rolling worst music writing

i will never get over people thinking that a pop star's lyrics are like court testimony or something. when it was really some dude on the toilet texting back and forth with t-swift an hour before they hit the studio. "wt rhyms with drama?" "uh karma?"

DB hoping to land at Pitchfork

(I skimmed that column bcz life is short)

I'm sure there's something subtly insidious buried somewhere in that pap, but I don't have the energy to dig for it.

how did his editor let him start two separate paragraphs with 'it's interesting...'

editor?

[imghttp://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/intel/2011/07/05/05_davidbrooks.w710.h473.2x.jpg].img]

http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/intel/2011/07/05/05_davidbrooks.w710.h473.2x.jpg

That 'sincerity' column was his usual half-baked near-nonsense, but I did like the description of Taylor Swift barking "see what you made me do" over and over, because anyone who says "see what you made me do" deserves to be kicked until they stop.

fuego!

LOL @ "It’s been a long time since the Sex Pistols burst on the scene."

surely that should have been "came on the scene"

Didn’t the Dead Boys do that in the kitchens at CBGBs?

David Brooks on the scene
know what I mean?

OMG pic.twitter.com/X2xy8ha2qT

— Marshall Steinbaum (@Econ_Marshall) October 4, 2017

David Brooks: the only way to combat Trump's hokey white supremacist narrative is with... another hokey white supremacist narrative pic.twitter.com/0dh0MaRnx5

— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) October 3, 2017

"we are not a country of bashing immigrants & building walls. We are a country of genocidal westward expansion & butchering natives". Oh ok.

— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) October 3, 2017

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNua0B0UQAAkajj.jpg

GAH mookie why did you inflict that on me??????

Loooool

rofl

also his 5-word proposal to his second wife

his ghostwriter is definitely a double agent

So you begin getting to know him or her better, first over a meal, then through activities.

say what u like about brooks but this guy fucks

...up everyone's day

^^^could not be more otm

OK the excerpt posted above may be lol but I made the mistake of reading the full piece and now I am so fucking pissed and disgusted. This guy is worse than lol and pathetic. He is so fucking gross.

yeah i barfed. horny prospector.

just a horny prospector

*dead*

sung to the tune of "I am a Lonesome Hobo!

"This time, for sure!"

Oh.

every time this thread pops up I see the title and I *know* i'm going to be disappointed but I click anyway thinking "maybe today really is the day."

https://thebaffler.com/blessed-and-brightest/a-liberal-comity-show

Wherein Brooks and Robert George had a civility-off with Melissa Harris-Perry and Howard Dean held by a group unsarcastically calling itself “Intelligence Squared”

every damn time.

^

One gets the feeling these days that we are all sliding towards certain bleak inevitabilities -- the final collapse of American democracy, for instance, or a David Brooks column on Cat Person.

— Osita Nwanevu (@OsitaNwanevu) December 11, 2017

please tell me that doesn't actually exist

give it time, give it time

David Brooks woke up Monday and was the 15,604,880th person to think 'guys what if EXTREMES on BOTH SIDES were the same--like a sort of horseshoe' and got paid roughly 3,500 for the article

— Adam H. Johnson (@adamjohnsonNYC) December 12, 2017

doesn't sound like the horseshoe i know

Brooks is going to independently discover fishhook theory in 2020

Thank you for your service, sir. I wasn't ready to talk about the power of touch before, but because of you, I finally am. David, you're the guy I want to have this conversation with. Please call me at your earliest convenience. pic.twitter.com/qP8SZsH2a3

— eve peyser (@evepeyser) January 19, 2018