even more quiddities and agonies of the ruling class - a new rolling new york times thread

my new thing is to imagine all of these being voiced by Lucille Bluth

or i guess more Lindsay really, idk

Is that letter like the insane rich smugnut's version of "dear penthouse letters"?

bashō, this ain't

Dear Diary:
Airplane wings
Croissants on trays
But when will I sleep?
Cobblestone streets
Uphill for days
But when will I sleep?
Gaudí and churches
Caught in the rain
But when will I sleep?
We fly to Sardinia
Burnished in sunlight
But when will I sleep?
Rome is impressive
Cappuccino is great
But when will I sleep?
The Colosseum is old
The fountains are wet
But when will I sleep?
St. Peter’s a bore
Walking a chore
But when will I sleep?
Lights over Manhattan
The plane lands
My photo is taken
I find my bag
A taxi appears
I stare out the window
Queens. La Guardia.
The Triborough Bridge.
Harlem. Central Park.
We turn down Broadway
I see my building
I see my doorstep
I see my home.
Now I will sleep.

not nyt but this seemed a good place for this upcoming workshop i just saw.

Spoon Carving Workshop
Good Goods, a new collaborative lifestyle store that represents a new generation of makers hosts a special workshop with wood specialist Abby Mechanic. The first portion of the class will revolve around design and development of an object: you'll learn how to plan, mark, and prep material for shaping. Then you'll explore various shaping techniques with the use of hand tools. At the end of the workshop, you'll leave with a spoon of your own. Class is $125 and includes all the materials and tools
Good Goods / SoHo
121 Prince St.
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/spoon-carving-workshop-with-abby-mechanic-tickets-37960299277

omg "Good Goods" die

and you will own the most expensive spoon

veg, we all need a spoon of our own

> wood specialist Abby Mechanic

this NYT comment and the three people who recommended it are giving me life this morning pic.twitter.com/kKYf5uLOK0

— bergmanj (@bergmanj) October 26, 2017

hahaha what

Answered the phone while speech to texting, hit "post" somehow.

ahhhhhh right speech-to-text. i was trying to figure how they could have thought they were typing text messages, and yet been getting responses...

okay, amazing

Hahah it reads like Paul F. Tompkins's old "Google Phone Voicemail Transcriptions" bit.

that's fucking amazing, found poetry

I'm Normans out doing some errands and he knows you're coming so he'll just go down to the cave

start of a neil gaiman story if ever i heard one

You can't boil some eggs without killing a few people.

https://i.imgur.com/qzuKTrC.jpg

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/19/your-money/talking-to-children-about-inheritance.html

I should change my career to a “how to talk to your kids about their inheritance consultant”. I think it would be pretty easy.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNpKrdWVQAABvwC.jpg:small

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-11-02/what-life-is-like-inside-wework-s-communal-housing-project

A kibbutz it ain't

that's fucking amazing, found poetry

― IF (Terrorist) Yes, Explain (man alive), Thursday, October 26, 2017 4:31 PM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it is!

reminds me of "brownsville girl"

"ah henry ain't here but you can come in, he'll be back in a little while"

man that welive place looks so sad

more from the same crew

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DN-e2iMVAAASHfT.jpg:small

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DN-fDTgVAAAU-1F.jpg:small

WeWork Is Launching a Grade School for Budding Entrepreneurs

Dear Diary:
I accompanied my friend Judy to an auto body shop in the Bronx to help her retrieve her property from her car, which was totaled when she hit a deer upstate.
We readily accepted the mechanic’s kind offer to drive us to the subway station with our heavy bags.
Before entering the subway, we offered Judy’s long-handled snow-removal brush, which she no longer needed, to a man at a corner fruit stand. He took it happily and offered two apples in return.
On the ride back to Manhattan, Judy gave one of the apples to a homeless woman; she too accepted with gratitude.
An unfortunate event for a deer resulted in thoughtful deeds that were satisfying to several people.

ha ha this sounds like someone at their bar mitzvah talking about how much they learned from volunteering at the food bank for two hours

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/11/style/where-are-all-the-nannies-on-instagram.html

tbh, I don't know if this is thread-qualified, my eye started twitching after the third paragraph

It's almost like an inverted quid-ag, ostensibly social justice and wealth inequality concerned, but still subtly from the perspective of the wealthy (framed as "why aren't they on rich people's instagrams" as opposed to like "the hidden labor that makes wealthy lifestyles possible." )

One estimate shows wealthy couples in NYC need 90 million to keep their heads above water https://t.co/dlF6y9wlpT pic.twitter.com/RrSn4oS3Sg

— Finance Insider (@clusterstock) November 17, 2017

now they're just trolling

for $190 a lot of people would put their heads below water

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/rabbit-holes/money-diaries-where-millennial-women-go-to-judge-one-anothers-spending-habits

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/04/technology/silicon-valley-esalen-institute.html?_r=0

“There’s a dawning consciousness emerging in Silicon Valley as people recognize that their conventional success isn’t necessarily making the world a better place,” said Mr. Tauber, 34, a former Google product manager and start-up executive coach. “The C.E.O.s, inside they’re hurting. They can’t sleep at night.”

The C.E.O.s
inside they’re hurting

there's an app for that

There's a dawning consciousness emerging in Silicon Valley as CEOs recognize that they are shallow, clueless zealots, adrift in a world they do not understand except through the trivialities with which they've crammed their minds.

not nyt but hoo boy
http://bushwickdaily.com/bushwick/categories/long-reads/5115-how-i-feel-now

bushwickdaily is generally a crushing thing to scroll through, just a delirious parade of gentrification boosterism with a sad veneer of hippitude. "feeling like some kind of bourgeois Brooklyn refugee" is particularly rich though. nice that the comments are going after him, i feel like 90% of the stuff on that site nobody even reads (which is good) or if they do nobody notices how fucked it is (which is bad).

agree with you on basically all points. what is "the nostalgia for now" called?

also not nyt (and not this year) but the terrible thing about the times is it could have been

this tweet reminds me of this class wall street journal image on “typical” family incomes pic.twitter.com/JexnSXOBxw

— Jamelle Bouie (@jbouie) December 19, 2017

lol just your average single mom w two kids making a quarter of a million dollars

just your average retired couple with $130k of non-investment income

Is that dude wearing a scarf without a coat like rupert bear, or is it meant to be a jumper

Also lol for a uk reader these all look like court sketches of ppl

haha oh man i'd forgotten about that one. we've definitely clowned it before - i remember someone shedding a tear for sad dorothea lange portrait of the single parent living on $260,000 a year ($40,000 in deductions, $35,000 in investment income)

she looks like téa leoni in a movie that ends w her throwing away her ringing cell

Is it not a dude with a very disco look? Anyway w/e about that, just how long are the blond child's arms?

I think he's got a sweater tied around his neck, because that's a look that exists outside of 1980s preps vs nerds comedies.

https://www.gofundme.com/brooklyn-refugee-needs-home

Why do they all look so miserable?