Star Wars 8 shit talk

i mentioned brett ratner on wednesday, yr post is redundant

he said "sentient"

(lifted that joke)

did you guys see the tweet going around that said "Joss Whedon announced as director of Episode IX!"

it was the first rickroll I've clicked on in a while, beautiful

I nominate Bong Joon-ho.

At this point, if Rian Johnson does as well as I'm hoping with 8, let him keep some creative control over 9

8 will be the first Star War I've seen since Caravan Of Courage, please let Johnson escape back to making his own films afterward (and maybe directing Mountain Goat videos & Better Call Saul episodes)

I'm cool with that trajectory

Neil Breen as director

starring Neil Breen as Han Solo

would also watch

(was also gonna watch the Lord & Miller one, when it was going to exist)

8 will be the first Star War I've seen since Caravan Of Courage

hawhat

they should ask David Lynch to do IX

There's a risk he would take the franchise label too literally, and he wouldn't like leaving any loose ends for the next three-pack to pick up.

i've hacked into all the death stars of all the empires
lynch would refuse like he did with ESB. couldn't hurt to ask.

he turned down rotj but yeah

I just don't know if he would be capable of explaining the way The Force works as well as George did.

would watch david lynch's american grafitti / george lucas' inland empire

hawhat

I saw the trailer for Phantom Menace, thought "well that looks shit," and tapped out

are you suggesting that this was an error

http://io9.gizmodo.com/werner-herzog-gets-his-nihilistic-hands-all-over-star-w-1802917523

are you suggesting that this was an error

Read this as you going from Caravan Of Courage to TLJ without having seen TFA (or Rogue One if that counts). This feels like a particularly unusual position if so (extra credit if you saw CoC only recently).

no, that's right. Saw CoC in the cinema in 1985.

Not only would Breen be the last Jedi he would be like " i INVENTED the force"

two years ago I was annoyed that I would have to watch a JJ Abrams film at some point so that I'd be able to follow a Rian Johnson film in 2017. but then I never happened to catch it on TV, still don't want to pay for Abrams, can't be bothered to steal it, and figure there must be a 4-minute youtube I can find that'll tell me who the characters are.

it... was really good?

i rep for the public library on this one

one of the best things i can say about TFA is that it doesn't really feel like a JJ Abrams film

i feel like Kathleen Kennedy gave him some directives on that front. i swear there's only maybe two lens flares.

I did buy the comic Star Wars Tales #20 in 2004, with short stories by Pete Bagge, Gilbert Hernandez, James Kochalka and Tony Millionaire. And I once watched someone play Lego Star Wars on Dagobah for ten minutes.

I am shocked by these violations of your strict ethos

holy shit dude you've been to dagobah???

it... was really good?

yeah but "really good" like Brick, Looper, Brothers Bloom, Fly and Ozymandias, or "really good" as in "not totally shit, for a condensed remake of three old films for children, with the same final level battle that TWO of them already had forty years ago, and a bunch of Dramatic Reveals of the old characters, as long as you actively wanted to see a remake of etc etc.?"

holy shit dude you've been to dagobah???

it was an accident, my navigation droid crashed my fighter

I read part of a Rian Johnson interview yesterday, and autocorrected part of it to "Every time I sat across from Mark Hamill, I couldn't help thinking, this is one of the luckiest movie actors of all time."

he's not even one of the luckiest movie actors in a star wars movie tbf

If you divide iconic stature by talent, he might be.

(Hayden Christensen has no stature.)

fwiw i saw Hamill on B'way 30 years ago, and he was fine.

https://www.ibdb.com/broadway-production/the-nerd-4445

whatever you think about his performance in the original trilogy - and undoubtedly he does clunk in places - he has delivered some great performances elsewhere so i am genuinely interested to see what he does in the new one

I still am hoping for the scene where he goes "So now Rey, you are... The Last Jedi" and then takes his own head off with a lightsaber

obviously that's why he was so shocked on the script direction

i hope he does it in the opening 30 seconds

that would be a hell of a ride, albeit insanely short

it would be the greatest troll move of all time, i'm gonna be kinda disappointed if it doesn't happen now

If you look at Snoke's newer pictures, it kind of looks like someone grafted a head on to a different body

And if you look at the head, half of it is pretty screwed up, as if it was injured, or maybe... burned? And he has blue eyes

Now, who do we know of who was already kind of tall, with blue eyes, and had his body really damaged, and burned... but might have had half of his head protected from the fire by.. a helmet?

man I love coming up with the dumbest ideas, it's more fun than real plot speculation

Not only would Breen be the last Jedi he would be like " i INVENTED the force"

The First Order doesn't stand a chance.

http://www.ohhaitrebor.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/ezgif.com-crop-2.gif

rian johnson has a sticker for you mh

.@rianjohnson pic.twitter.com/TGpriXMntO

— Kristen Hidalporg (@manraysky) July 19, 2016

I think I'm signing on with "snoke is ezra bridger"

I think that one is just a little less likely than "snoke is jar jar"

the point is to justify the dumbest theory btw

I started with "snoke is darth vader's scorched genitals" and worked backward

It's Abrams: http://www.starwars.com/news/j-j-abrams-to-write-and-direct-star-wars-episode-ix

Gross

can someone remind me if the nerds will by annoyed or overjoyed at this and then i can calibrate my response appropriately

Return of the JJ

annoyed