Post a controversial opinion

you think he spit at you bc you look WASPy? are your collars popped or something?

Nah, boat shoes, polo shirts, Jared Kushner hairstyle. I should probably get a new look at some point.

Yeah, maybe. Two weeks ago a guy accelerated his car at me when I was crossing at a stop sign, and the dude in the car yelled out to me "I'm a homo!" in what he assumed was my voice, which in reality isn't as high pitched as he thought.

Not a nice town, at least for me. I'm moving back to NYC pronto.

Why do you assume it was what he assumed was your voice

this does not sound like the suburbs i've been to

xp I don't know, man, I'm just being dry here.

so just so i understand - you have been spit upon and gay bashed for wearing boat shoes, polo shirts and a Jared Kushner hairstyle? where in the country are you?

I think the property manager might've snowed you when he said the complex was in Skid Row Heights, burt.

Dirt Jerz, baby. I know what's going on here, it's a certain kind of New Jersey knucklehead that's like this. I had an English professor from NYC who taught at my Jersey clown college, and he got the same shit, people would call him a "homo" on his class websites, and he got out of there pretty quickly.

It's the sort of place where you're a "total fag" if you've ever watched a movie in a foreign language. I just got stuck in this dump due to unforeseen circumstances.

Two weeks ago a guy accelerated his car at me when I was crossing at a stop sign, and the dude in the car yelled out to me "I'm a homo!" in what he assumed was my voice, which in reality isn't as high pitched as he thought.

The accelarating of the car is bad and wrong but the yelling out of "I'm a homo!" in a high pitched voice, as opposed to "You're a homo!" in any pitch of voice, tickles me.

Yeah, that's I thought was funny, too.

That guy in the car literally tried to slay u

Hmmm. I probably shouldn't consider that normal, should I.

Yeah none of this description quite aligns with "People who lock themselves up in their houses like fortresses. Never speaking to their neighbors. Hiding from the world. They do what they're told, think what they're told."

Make up your mind - is it that they hide away and never speak to other people? Or is it that they spit at / homophobically insult / try to kill other people? Sounds like the "homo" guy and the spitter are interacting with others rather _too_ much.

Also I've lived a lot of places, including suburbs, and I don't recall any of that being what I was told to do by The Man. Doesn't social conformity lean more toward birth/school/work/death, wear khakis, have children, drive a minivan stuff? As opposed to being tattooed muscly spitters.

Conformity is relative to your milieu. Anyway, that ship's sailed, now I'm wondering why I think it's cool for people to try and run me over with their cars.

Hmmm. I probably shouldn't consider that normal, should I.

― carpet_kaiser, Friday, 25 August 2017 23:01 (thirty-two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Oh boy I should say not!

Yeah. I'm done with almost getting murdered.

I know what this is. My parents and family were trying to murder me growing up. But they were incredibly smart and clever people, so they tried to do it in a way that other people would do the work for them.

So, they raised me to look and act in ways that would get me attacked by other people, including foisting a false "gay" "effeminate" identity on me, and inoculating me against extreme violence through gradual exposure, ex., making me hang out with a kid I told them tortured and murdered animals in the woods. They had a Plan A, B, C, D, etc., so when one failed, there were several others that locked into place to take effect.

I'm getting gay bashed, but I'm not gay. But people think I am because of the way I was raised. I've become a conduit that transmits a false reality about myself that's getting me almost killed here.

Pretty funky stuff! They were brilliant fuckfaces, I'll give them that. I'm here saying this wacky shit because I really should be dead right now, but I won all my games of chess with death and all that Seventh Seal shit, and now I'm trying to make my way out of it.

I know it's gauche to talk about things like this, but man oh man, this is some life-threateningly dangerous stuff that gone done to me, and I'm just trying to survive in any way I can think of, with incredibly limited resources. Yeah. That's what this is.

Your life story seems strikingly similar to a fellow who used to post here. Went by the name appleton. I can't recall offhand if he was permanently banned from here. He was a deeply angry person and didn't always direct it very sensibly.

Yeah, everyone knows that's who I posted as. Listen, I'm in the middle of like ... being murdered here, and I'm trying to find a way to survive. Cut me some slack, OK? I have very little to work with here.

carpet i recognize you from the depression thread. best wishes to you...if you're in any sort of danger, or whatever, there are resources out there. please consider that

Apparently I'm in danger every friggin' day! I'm like, "yeah, whatever, getting run down by cars, getting almost beaten up by subway hooligans ... just another day in my nutty life!"

I don't know who or what can help this shit. I'm alive, I made it this far, I guess it's just gonna be me.

man i know the feeling, a guy kept up to me yelling "hey motherfucker, hey motherfucker" and i bolted fast. Luckily I can run fast.

But if shit really feels too hard to bear, it's never not worth it to seek help. I say this as someone who has been at rock bottom

Everyone on ilx gets slack cut for them. On the whole we are quite forbearing people. There are limits, though. The main limit to remember is 51.

xp

I tried, couldn't find any relevant therapists, most of them were lazy and incompetent as fuck. I've written about a thousand pages in my own journal figuring this out on my own. I've done research. What I lived through, doesn't exist in any book, or manual, or website. I got some newly invented type of abuse. I haven't been able to find any therapist or counselor who has any clue about this stuff.

I made it pretty damn far on my own, because I'm the one with the key to all this. I'll be alright, I hope.

xxp

Yeah, I'll chill ... I'm passing through some rocky waters here, but I'm still cogent.

Yeah. Sorry for posting this crazy stuff here, I was drunk off my ass last night.

A couple of months ago my grandfather tried to talk me into hanging myself. Because him and my brothers wrecked my entire life ... they gave me all of this terrible advice that ended up destroying my life, and his "help" out of this (conditions they helped cause) was him trying to convince me to kill myself.

I think I'm having some kind of awakening moment here. I should probably go and work this out...

(Tbf, suburbs are wasteful, insular garbage, although I'm not sure the reasons why have much to do with whatever's going on rn.)

And sorry things are so rough, carpet. Hope you're able to find a way out.

If I don't, I'm dead. So I hope so, too. I've actually spent my whole life doing this, without even knowing it. It's like I've been solving my own murder without even knowing it. Crazy shit!

Oh well. I should probably be spending all of my free time getting myself out of this hole, and into safety. It's not even a hole, I don't know what metaphor would work with this shit.

Sorry yr having a terrible time at the moment - have you tried the depression thread? It may not be a perfect fit, but it's a good placce to talk about stuff..

Thanks. Maybe I'll give that a go and not crap up unrelated threads with my weird fucking life.

Get. Professional. Help.

And. Don't. Drunk. Post.

Stop posting in that format

Get. Professional. Help.

I tried, you think I'm an idiot? I've spent my entire life working on these problems, anything that can help, I'm down for.

There's no professional help for what I'm dealing with here. I made it this far on my own, so I hope I can keep it up. It'll probably be easier now that I don't have a family of psychopaths screwing with me.

Like, if I had genuine mental illness, I would 100% be homeless right now. I'm lucky. The emotional fallout I express is directly related to the material that caused it. My beliefs are directly related to my experiences. It's clear and rational, it's just uncomfortable because it's directly related to a source that people find very uncomfortable, and is very uncommon.

I'm way more chill in real life, obviously, because internet posting removes a lot of filters. Whatever. I gotta get off the internet anyway and find some solutions here. Thanks for bearing with me here.

Other thread. Dedicated thread.

Got it.

Other thread yeah but you don't have to be
Homeless to be mentally ill. That's just weird to me.

I don't think that's what he said.

Oh sorry read that wrong

Get. Professional. Help.

this is a bracingly shit post, but I suppose it is on topic

it's a little cold, but it's not off-base. larry, coming from someone who hasn't given you much of a hard time on these boards, please consider seeing someone. and i think a psychiatrist would be better than a therapist, in your case

Why do you think that?

If you respond, do it in the Depression thread, I've made a mess enough of this one.

Tea is better than coffee

controversial opinion: confidently giving psychiatric advice to someone online who you don't know in a curt, smug, hostile way bc you're fed up of their posts is not indicative of high quality thinking

Tea is better than coffee

― streeps of range (wins), Saturday, August 26, 2017 6:39 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

FP'd you for this.

(not really but c'mon....)

ogmor OTM

that shouldn't even be a controversial opinion, it should just be accepted wisdom.

This kind of authoritative and dismissive way of addressing people is unfortunately par for the course for those experiencing psychiatric issues

Wait, since when do I have a psychiatric issue? I wasn't diagnosed with any when I saw doctors and therapists. I'm sure they know better than any of you.

That's some cold blooded shit, my man. That's why I never talk about this stuff.

Enough, done, no more on this.

My new controversial opinion is Taylor Swift's new album should have been called "Sounds of the Oligarchy"

fuck i didn't mean it that way, i was at loss for a better word..yeah i'm done with this thread too