Post a controversial opinion

See, I see an opinion like that and immediately wonder how you got such ironclad certainty about what these people are thinking, how they live, or what they believe. It's extremely easy for you to judge them wholesale based on where they live or what their house looks like or how they appear to live (observed by a sneering person from elsewhere). Maybe they don't speak to their neighbors within your earshot, but you don't know about their connections among themselves, to their close and far-flung friends, to their families, or to a life of the mind that they share only with themselves.

It's as reliable as someone seeing a city dweller in a black turtleneck (or whatever) and deciding you know everything about them and what they value based on that. I mean, they probably only eat organic arugula and like only Abstract Expressionism and free jazz, while looking down their noses at the simple country folk, etc.

A person in a suburban "fortress" could be shy, terrified, or just plain happy with their own company. They could be consumed with their own thoughts and private struggles. They could be working on needlepoint, a novel, a solo album, or nothing at all. They could be deeply engaged with their own navel lint. They could be facing any number of diminishing heartbreaks or expansive flights of fancy. They could be - and probably are - chatting online with persons from Nairobi to Newfoundland.

Just as an urban or rural person might be.

booming post ye

i like abstract expressionism and free jazz and i lock myself in my house and don't speak to neighbors. i live this way regardless of whether i'm in the suburbs or the city.

solitary posts etc

I can't wait until carpet_kaiser has the realization that the peaceful veneer of the suburbs is hiding a world of dark secrets and repressed desires.

tbf the people with repressed desires can be identified by their black turtlenecks

i came from the suburbs but i hate going back, especially given my parents are too busy chatting to ppl from nairobi about their solo albums to give me the time of day

Nairobi suburbs
https://www.jamiiforums.com/mobile-gallery/a204d3af773187b306c0659102ba134e.jpg

these are much kinder responses to what i originally typed and deleted last night

Shake it Off is Taylor Swift's only good song.

We've had 4000+ posts on suburbs. People Who Live In Suburbs: Classy, Icky, or Dudes? no strong opinions there...

That opinion was pulled fresh from my ass while drunk. The tattooed muscle dude who spat at me today while I was outside smoking a cigarette has turned me around on them. Yes, I'm aware it's particular to this specific town.

why would some random dude spit at you?

I'm sorry that happened to you, larry.

probably because he was smoking a cigarette right outside the front door of a building the muscle dude needed to go into with his kids

Because I moved to a place where I apparently do not belong, at least this section of town.

It was outside my apartment

do you stand out in some way?

he's a carpet with a pointy helmet so I wd say yes

xp

Sort of. I guess my look is obnoxiously WASPish, which I should probably update at some point. The town is hardcore blue collar.

It's the sort of place where people just throw garbage wherever they want to, on their own street. But it's a nice looking town with an amazing location and really affordable. Maybe they don't want to get gentrified? No idea.

you think he spit at you bc you look WASPy? are your collars popped or something?

Nah, boat shoes, polo shirts, Jared Kushner hairstyle. I should probably get a new look at some point.

Yeah, maybe. Two weeks ago a guy accelerated his car at me when I was crossing at a stop sign, and the dude in the car yelled out to me "I'm a homo!" in what he assumed was my voice, which in reality isn't as high pitched as he thought.

Not a nice town, at least for me. I'm moving back to NYC pronto.

Why do you assume it was what he assumed was your voice

this does not sound like the suburbs i've been to

xp I don't know, man, I'm just being dry here.

so just so i understand - you have been spit upon and gay bashed for wearing boat shoes, polo shirts and a Jared Kushner hairstyle? where in the country are you?

I think the property manager might've snowed you when he said the complex was in Skid Row Heights, burt.

Dirt Jerz, baby. I know what's going on here, it's a certain kind of New Jersey knucklehead that's like this. I had an English professor from NYC who taught at my Jersey clown college, and he got the same shit, people would call him a "homo" on his class websites, and he got out of there pretty quickly.

It's the sort of place where you're a "total fag" if you've ever watched a movie in a foreign language. I just got stuck in this dump due to unforeseen circumstances.

Two weeks ago a guy accelerated his car at me when I was crossing at a stop sign, and the dude in the car yelled out to me "I'm a homo!" in what he assumed was my voice, which in reality isn't as high pitched as he thought.

The accelarating of the car is bad and wrong but the yelling out of "I'm a homo!" in a high pitched voice, as opposed to "You're a homo!" in any pitch of voice, tickles me.

Yeah, that's I thought was funny, too.

That guy in the car literally tried to slay u

Hmmm. I probably shouldn't consider that normal, should I.

Yeah none of this description quite aligns with "People who lock themselves up in their houses like fortresses. Never speaking to their neighbors. Hiding from the world. They do what they're told, think what they're told."

Make up your mind - is it that they hide away and never speak to other people? Or is it that they spit at / homophobically insult / try to kill other people? Sounds like the "homo" guy and the spitter are interacting with others rather _too_ much.

Also I've lived a lot of places, including suburbs, and I don't recall any of that being what I was told to do by The Man. Doesn't social conformity lean more toward birth/school/work/death, wear khakis, have children, drive a minivan stuff? As opposed to being tattooed muscly spitters.

Conformity is relative to your milieu. Anyway, that ship's sailed, now I'm wondering why I think it's cool for people to try and run me over with their cars.

Hmmm. I probably shouldn't consider that normal, should I.

― carpet_kaiser, Friday, 25 August 2017 23:01 (thirty-two minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Oh boy I should say not!

Yeah. I'm done with almost getting murdered.

I know what this is. My parents and family were trying to murder me growing up. But they were incredibly smart and clever people, so they tried to do it in a way that other people would do the work for them.

So, they raised me to look and act in ways that would get me attacked by other people, including foisting a false "gay" "effeminate" identity on me, and inoculating me against extreme violence through gradual exposure, ex., making me hang out with a kid I told them tortured and murdered animals in the woods. They had a Plan A, B, C, D, etc., so when one failed, there were several others that locked into place to take effect.

I'm getting gay bashed, but I'm not gay. But people think I am because of the way I was raised. I've become a conduit that transmits a false reality about myself that's getting me almost killed here.

Pretty funky stuff! They were brilliant fuckfaces, I'll give them that. I'm here saying this wacky shit because I really should be dead right now, but I won all my games of chess with death and all that Seventh Seal shit, and now I'm trying to make my way out of it.

I know it's gauche to talk about things like this, but man oh man, this is some life-threateningly dangerous stuff that gone done to me, and I'm just trying to survive in any way I can think of, with incredibly limited resources. Yeah. That's what this is.

Your life story seems strikingly similar to a fellow who used to post here. Went by the name appleton. I can't recall offhand if he was permanently banned from here. He was a deeply angry person and didn't always direct it very sensibly.

Yeah, everyone knows that's who I posted as. Listen, I'm in the middle of like ... being murdered here, and I'm trying to find a way to survive. Cut me some slack, OK? I have very little to work with here.

carpet i recognize you from the depression thread. best wishes to you...if you're in any sort of danger, or whatever, there are resources out there. please consider that

Apparently I'm in danger every friggin' day! I'm like, "yeah, whatever, getting run down by cars, getting almost beaten up by subway hooligans ... just another day in my nutty life!"

I don't know who or what can help this shit. I'm alive, I made it this far, I guess it's just gonna be me.

man i know the feeling, a guy kept up to me yelling "hey motherfucker, hey motherfucker" and i bolted fast. Luckily I can run fast.

But if shit really feels too hard to bear, it's never not worth it to seek help. I say this as someone who has been at rock bottom

Everyone on ilx gets slack cut for them. On the whole we are quite forbearing people. There are limits, though. The main limit to remember is 51.

xp

I tried, couldn't find any relevant therapists, most of them were lazy and incompetent as fuck. I've written about a thousand pages in my own journal figuring this out on my own. I've done research. What I lived through, doesn't exist in any book, or manual, or website. I got some newly invented type of abuse. I haven't been able to find any therapist or counselor who has any clue about this stuff.

I made it pretty damn far on my own, because I'm the one with the key to all this. I'll be alright, I hope.

xxp

Yeah, I'll chill ... I'm passing through some rocky waters here, but I'm still cogent.

Yeah. Sorry for posting this crazy stuff here, I was drunk off my ass last night.

A couple of months ago my grandfather tried to talk me into hanging myself. Because him and my brothers wrecked my entire life ... they gave me all of this terrible advice that ended up destroying my life, and his "help" out of this (conditions they helped cause) was him trying to convince me to kill myself.

I think I'm having some kind of awakening moment here. I should probably go and work this out...

(Tbf, suburbs are wasteful, insular garbage, although I'm not sure the reasons why have much to do with whatever's going on rn.)

And sorry things are so rough, carpet. Hope you're able to find a way out.

If I don't, I'm dead. So I hope so, too. I've actually spent my whole life doing this, without even knowing it. It's like I've been solving my own murder without even knowing it. Crazy shit!

Oh well. I should probably be spending all of my free time getting myself out of this hole, and into safety. It's not even a hole, I don't know what metaphor would work with this shit.

Sorry yr having a terrible time at the moment - have you tried the depression thread? It may not be a perfect fit, but it's a good placce to talk about stuff..

Thanks. Maybe I'll give that a go and not crap up unrelated threads with my weird fucking life.

Get. Professional. Help.