what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room

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that story makes it appear as though we hung and and voila, roomies, but it was over the course of many months.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 07:32 (twenty-one years ago)

see this makes me so glad i decided never to share ever ever again. of course rent is cheap here so i am lucky. i can't stand having flat(room)mates

― gem (trisk), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear's loss here is so clearly ILX's gain, though.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:10 (twenty-one years ago)

so true roxy! errrr silver linings and other such hackneyed cliches.

― gem (trisk), Friday, 20 August 2004 08:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Jules : Whoa... whoa... whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing.
Vincent : Not the same thing, the same ballpark.
Jules : It ain't no fuckin' ballpark either. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holyiest of holies, ain't the same ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Foot massages don't mean shit.
Vincent : Have you ever given a foot massage?
Jules : Don't be tellin' me about foot massages - I'm the foot fuckin' master.
Vincent : Given a lot of 'em?
Jules : Shit yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be tickling or nothin'.
Vincent : Would you give a guy a foot massage?
Jules : Fuck you.
Vincent : You give them a lot?
Jules : Fuck you.
Vincent : You know, I'm getting kinda tired, I could use a foot massage.
Jules : Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' pissed.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Friday, 20 August 2004 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Why oh why did I never see this thread?

― mcd (mcd), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

how old's your roommate btw?

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

old enough

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

how do you know this? (thinks back to see if stevem has ever sported a t.hat)

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 August 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

24 years old, I think.

fuck, not again!

every fucking morning, I swear, she gets up and goes off somewhere and doesn't turn off her fucking alarm, and now it's going off, which means I have to gingerly negotiate a minefield of emo CDs, dirty underwear that is not her own, and makeup products in order to shut it off.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Couldn't you 'accidently' break it or 'inadvertently' toss it into the street?

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

thinks back to see if stevem has ever sported a t.hat

there is a photo on ile somewhere...but everyone has worn that hat

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

That hat is a whore.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously guys my roomie would get plugged by anything with two legs, mesh, and foam.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't know whether to be aroused or baffled

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I have this spare office chair that seems as though it would fit the bill...

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

some chairs get all the luck

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

It's got three legs though, but she sounds as though she's not *too* picky.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear, I will buy you a pint if you can say with *total honesty* that you've never beaten off thinking about your roommate. And I'll buy you a chaser if you cried while doing it.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 20 August 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Um, ew.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously guys my roomie would get plugged by anything with two legs, mesh, and foam.

Sid & Marty Kroft bukkake party at Gear's house!

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 20 August 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I have never wanked to mental images of my roommate, but she borrowed a couple of CDs from me which were returned within days, scratched beyond any ability to be played, which did cause some wailing and gnashing of the teeth on my part, if that counts.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Ok, how could that possibly count?

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

well it's comparable to crying at least.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I see what you're saying now.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

The gnashing of teeth imagery suggests worrying comparisons.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Midge" over here just asked me if I needed a roommate, I told him I knew a girl who did. And now he's going on about how he just got a bottle of Jack Daniels and how he wants to break it in. that's for another thread, though.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0000019GE.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

If I ever find out that you're just a very creative guy who made up the roommate, the midget, and the guy with the chickens to amuse your internet friends, I will never forgive you.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Personally I would love to play Jack Tripper for this young thing. But I'm bored.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)

shit man, get a smart sensible brunette to join in and Don Knotts as your landlord.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Really?! I think if he turned out to be making up this whole thing I would just surrender to his awesomeness and have no other gods before said awesomeness. xpost

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

my landlord sounds and looks exactly like Michael Caine gone to seed.

okay I'll fess up to the chicken feed guy, but I never meant it to be taken as truth!

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

you don't already, Roxy? =(

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

AH! I knew it.

I forgive you. I feel very relieved now, actually.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 20 August 2004 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

it's partially true, I did make a half-hearted stab at being an amateur P.I. but only received one phone call, from a guy who wanted me to "kick this jerk's ass, like in Cape Fear!" I reminded him the P.I. didn't fare too well in that film and he shouted "the hell with you!" and hung up. It might have been a prank call.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear!, please leave her the URL of this thread!

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Friday, 20 August 2004 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

...bringing the tally of demands to three. Who else wants Gear to leave the url? This is like choose your own adventure except it's some dude's life and involves ass sex.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

MY (CODE) NAME IS JONAS

― ())(())()()()(()(LASER)()()()LA(Z)E(R)()()()((L)()()(A)(S(E)R()()()) (ex machina, Friday, 20 August 2004 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd like him to leave the URL, but I doubt its going to make her upset. If someone did that to me I'd just think "wow, my roommate was really obsessed with me. cool!"

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I think that not only should he leave his roomate this url but he should also quit his job and leave "agh my midget coworker has caused me trouble" on dude's monitor.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe they'd eventually put two and two together and LUV would ensue

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I could think of a lot worse things than a whole bunch of people on the net being told that I was frequently being laid by indie girls and saying crazy shit about bands. I'm kind of half way there as it is.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not even about the ass sex anymore, it's all about him complaining about her as a roomate in general.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Roxy, it's always going to be about the ass sex.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

BTW that thing about your roommate and the bill made me cry

― Homosexual II (Homosexual II), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

But getting laid by indie girls is way more respectable than getting pounded from behind by fey trucker-hat indie-boys, CeCe

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

what about brutish trucker hat indie-girls? Whatever female variation on the "fey trucker-hate indie-boy" exists, I would happily join them in couch-tainting adventures and discussions of the genius of Jeff Tweedy. ESPECIALLY if I knew my hypothetical female roommate was gonna flip shit and post about it daily online.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"Anthony just said Good Charlotte is the best band ever and then this emo girl started blowing him! On my couch!"

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

if it were that easy even I'd like Good Charlotte!

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 20 August 2004 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

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