The Martin Shkreli trial roffles thread

So glad that both leprechaun and gollum were posted in response to that sketch because they were though #1 and #2 microseconds apart

Found guilty!

Sentence this pig fucker to twenty to life

that was quick

reaaaaaallly hope he does prison time

he will not do well in gen pop

"We, the jury, wish to award Bill Murray all of Shkreli's assets, especially the Wu Tang album."

looooooool

Can he be sentenced to that Superman II space mirror? https://t.co/7ydF4BIkPu

— Joseph Hughes (@nczeitgeist) August 4, 2017

This is a fine day. Now to see the Fyre Festival bro suffer the same fate.

no way is this dude actually going to prison, right?

hoping that people are treated poorly in prison is a shitty, shitty look imo

What JCLC said.

Guilty on three counts, not guilty on five.

who cares about looks, it's a shitty frame of mind, period

Martin Shkreli was so unappealing and obnoxious that the DOJ convicted him of a white collar crime. https://t.co/DYvTHXZtGB

— Matt Stoller (@matthewstoller) August 4, 2017

c'mon now, I'm not gonna drop my "wishing terrible things on terrible people" schtick for this asshole

See, now this is how the wheels of cosmic justice are supposed to turn wrt completely irredeemable rich white assholes.

Cosmic or comic?

Why not both?

What's going to be great is if this is the one guy Trump pardons, for no particular reason.

SHHHH don't give him any ideas

Whaddaya mean, 'for no reason'? Do you even realize how many positions he still has unfilled in his administration?

Martin Shkreli, Surgeon General

who cares about looks, it's a shitty frame of mind, period

ordinarily i'd agree but this dude's exterior matches his interior so perfectly that it's hard not to comment on it

I just

Martin Shkreli's reaction when his lawyer says he is a "brilliant young man but sometimes people skills don't translate well" pic.twitter.com/vUCvL8un73

— Steve Kopack (@SteveKopack) August 4, 2017

who cares about looks, it's a shitty frame of mind, period
ordinarily i'd agree but this dude's exterior matches his interior so perfectly that it's hard not to comment on it

― the shape of a hot willie lumpkin (bizarro gazzara), Friday, August 4, 2017 12:21 PM (six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I was referring to this:

hoping that people are treated poorly in prison is a shitty, shitty look imo

― she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Friday, August 4, 2017 11:53 AM (thirty-four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm just nitpicking the whole "don't do this because it makes you look bad", when it should be more like "don't do this because it's mean and being mean is bad", but it really doesn't matter i guess.

trump called this guy a brat or something iirc

xxpost He was clearly just providing a visual aid.

Prison is bad enough without extra indignities befalling you. But this dude was eventually going to get punched in the face no matter what, prison or no. So I guess it's going to happen in prison.

Abolish prisons!!!!

*sees Shkreli going to jail*

my position on this issue has evolved

— sick transit, gloria (@samknight1) August 4, 2017

^^^^^^^

If, in terms of demographics and temperament and criminal leanings, prisons were comprised mostly of Shkrelis, I would likely feel much differently about prisons.

abolish prisons and bring back the pillory

that tweet is killing me

call 911

tell my wife I love her

he has the mannerisms of Weird Al

I'm guessing he won't give those back, either

big roffles: https://harpers.org/archive/2017/09/public-enemy/

juror no. 52: When I walked in here today I looked at him, and in my head, that’s a snake — not knowing who he was. I just walked in and looked right at him and that’s a snake.

I often find myself wondering with dudes like this: did he have the misfortune of inheriting the face of a villain and decide to just embrace it rather than working to develop any decency or humanity?

he could have at least tried to become a typecast character actor

the court: The question is, have you heard anything that would affect your ability to decide this case with an open mind. Can you do that?

juror no. 144: I don’t think I can because he kind of looks like a dick.

the court: You are Juror Number 144 and we will excuse you. Come forward, Juror Number 155.

juror no. 155: I have read a lot of articles about the case. I think he is as guilty as they come.

the court: Then I will excuse you from this case. Juror Number 10, please come forward.

juror no. 10: The only thing I’d be impartial about is what prison this guy goes to.

xp: Martin Shkreli is "Young Steve Buscemi"

also long live juror no. 144

juror no. 59: Your Honor, totally he is guilty and in no way can I let him slide out of anything because —

the court: Okay. Is that your attitude toward anyone charged with a crime who has not been proven guilty?

juror no. 59: It’s my attitude toward his entire demeanor, what he has done to people.

the court: All right. We are going to excuse you, sir.

juror no. 59: And he disrespected the Wu-Tang Clan.

i hope that last one was an over the shoulder, on the way out of the courtroom shout

wait is that article real transcripts or a creative writing project?

I often find myself wondering with dudes like this: did he have the misfortune of inheriting the face of a villain and decide to just embrace it rather than working to develop any decency or humanity?

― Say, I Heard You Had a Quarrel With Your Best Girl (Old Lunch), Wednesday, August 16, 2017 4:03 PM (fifteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it's like that phenomenon where guys named John Dentist become dentists

xp apparently real

The doctor who performed circumcisions in the hospital where my kids where born was named Dr. Cox.

better that than dr butcher i guess

Reality Winner a good example... i think

The article also provided no evidence that Christie Smythe and Shkreli had anything other than the obvious journalist and source relationship (regardless of what Smythe thinks). This entire situation is bizarre and shady.

― Allen (etaeoe), Monday, December 21, 2020 6:58 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

good point...

The article also provided no evidence that Christie Smythe and Shkreli had anything other than the obvious journalist and source relationship (regardless of what Smythe thinks). This entire situation is bizarre and shady.

Is this a joke? She helped his attorney file a affidavit in Federal court that they were in a relationship and would be living with her upon his release.

an affidavit

And you were on Clubhouse last night. I’m so out of it, I don’t know what that is. What is Clubhouse?

That was wild. I didn't know what Clubhouse was; I should’ve Googled it. Apparently it's some Silicon Valley thing and it had some association with trolls, and I didn't know that offhand. Somebody invited me to go because they said they were talking about me. And I said, okay, sure. The moderator was great. She was very promoting of respect. And it actually was a very good and healthy discussion, I think.

Glad this was cleared up.

Fun fact: the worst wine I've ever had was in Albania. It tasted like brine.

seventeen glasses
brine wine

It takes a heart like Christie's these days when your man gets weak.

the story of the year makes it into the paper of record

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/21/business/media/martin-shkreli-christie-smythe.html#click=https://t.co/wJFHGIhe6T

i don't like that this is THE STORY OF THE MOMENT when we're all dying but i guess that's clickbait (tm)

the pharma bro story did not include the bit where she was like 'my man will save us from the coronavirus' pic.twitter.com/ktsq2EpOXU

— James Palmer (@BeijingPalmer) December 21, 2020

If I understand her correctly, I believe she's asserting that he knows so much about viruses because he is, himself, a virus.

"His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, Martin Shkreli" - my head all day

The article also provided no evidence that Christie Smythe and Shkreli had anything other than the obvious journalist and source relationship (regardless of what Smythe thinks). This entire situation is bizarre and shady.

what? I'm a news reporter for a bloomberg rival who also regularly covers court and nothing about Smythe and Shkreli's relationship as described is normal in any sense of the word.

I know most TV and films seem to think all female journalists sleep/flirt with their sources and I'm so sorry this story seems to feed into that bs, but come the fuck on.

Ms. Smythe said she had no regrets about how she had dealt with the ethically perilous issue of covering someone she had developed feelings for. “In journalism school, they don’t really tell you what to do when this comes up,” she said. “I just tried to muddle through it and handle things as best as I could.”

This quote from her in the NYT story is also... gah. If you start developing romantic feelings for your source, you take yourself off the story or end the relationship, jfc.

United States Sells Unique Wu-Tang Clan Album Forfeited by Convicted Hedge Fund Manager Martin Shkreli https://t.co/hVHDk9nH4h

— US Attorney EDNY (@EDNYnews) July 27, 2021

i bought it, selling listens for $50/listen

YSI?

Don't know how I forgot about the reporter in a 'relationship' with Shkreli. Guess she's was still completely snowed as of a couple months back:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wvdtiEv-qo

A blast from the past!

BREAKING:

Martin Shkreli must pay a $64.6 million fine and is BANNED FOR LIFE from "participating in the pharmaceutical industry in any capacity," a federal judge ruled.

DEVELOPING story, @LawCrimeNews. https://t.co/WZ3owSJGYX pic.twitter.com/t8aSYXU6ar

— Adam Klasfeld (@KlasfeldReports) January 14, 2022

lmao

I wonder if he still wears that smirk all the time.

if only they did this to every monopolist

how creative are judges allowed to get with injunctions, exactly? can they require him to release Once Upon A Time in Shaolin?

It’s already been sold to some bullshit crypto wankers.

He never owned the rights to release it, just a CD.

it's just a 60 minute version of "Got Your Money" anyway

apparently the case was pretty badly banged up

lol that this dude was sitting in prison during the insane runup of crypto

And he's out and about (and per the post above, just in time to totally miss crypto's bubble):

https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Pharma-bro-Martin-Shkreli-released-from-17182037.php

back in the game

https://www.newscentermaine.com/article/news/nation-world/judge-martin-shkreli-to-turn-over-all-copies-of-wu-tang-clan-album/507-8d7c0d1f-7fc7-47a1-9f12-191464a2b1f6

lol "RELEASE THE WU!"