rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

KFC: Food You'll Laika

I don't know which cartoon to suggest: the highbrow route with Isaac Newton dropping his apple in favor of an offered Zinger or the ape from 2001 throwing his bone up into the air.

obv. the ape would throw a double down up into the air

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/is-mcdonalds-made-fresh-quarter-pounder-worth-the-extra-minute-wait/2017/06/21/276d1cc4-5696-11e7-b38e-35fd8e0c288f_story.html?utm_term=.b87fa432a864&tid=sm_tw

lotta analysis to mull over

lol at another one of these promotions that in the end amounts to "and remember, normally our food has been sitting there for fifteen minutes after a limp reheat from frozen!"

If I wanted a fresh burger, I would go to a proper place. If I'm at McDonalds I obviously couldn't give a fuck about freshness and would prefer not spending an extra minute actually being in a McDonalds.

The sandwich will return to earth and bring back telemetry data.

that is a top tier sentence

https://i.cbc.ca/1.4182875.1498696105!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/16x9_620/tim-hortons-poutine-donut.jpg

A poutine dougnut available to celebrate Canada's 150th birthday available only in Tim Horton's locations in the U.S.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/tim-hortons-poutine-doughnut-canada-day-150-1.4182768

what the shit

I know! How come Canada doesn't get one?

"let's sell this to the Americans, they'll eat anything!"

How can we get them to get more poutine though? Think!

There it is. The brave chicken sandwich going to the stratosphere. What a beauty. https://t.co/gxzMWbwyQo pic.twitter.com/xnmzgEypnC

— Miriam Kramer (@mirikramer) June 29, 2017

Joseph Kittinger would be so proud.

my friends, this story is the mothership

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2017-07-19/the-mad-cheese-scientists-fighting-to-save-the-dairy-industry

I thought "government cheese" was a thing of the past. . .

"With an entire ounce in the shell, the Quesalupa has about five times the cheese load of a basic Crunchy Taco."

The new double gordita: big enough for a rat to use as a boat.

dear lord please let me never hear/see the words "cheese" + "load" used together in a sentence again

:(

DISRUPTIVE SYNERGY

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/25/business/media/lyft-taco-bell.html

“I kind of think of this like inverse delivery — like we’re delivering you to Taco Bell,” she said in an interview. “You’re being delivered to the food as opposed to having to get in your own car and drive.”

Let the choirs sing hallelujah.

Previously, when I entered a taxi or hired car, I found completely unable to request that the driver swing by a fast-food establishment. Now mine eyes have been opened to the wondrous possibilities of life in this new golden age of Camry/chalupa integration.

co-curated camry/chapula experience

Pretty good chance the ride's going to cost 3x your meal price, right?

https://munchies.vice.com/en_us/article/nevgwx/angela-dimayuga-extra-value-meal-mcdonalds-fastfoodweek2017

that's a great story

couldn't stop until I'd read like three other articles from the same writer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cvq3Pf3j61c

https://i.imgur.com/Eu3KSth.jpg

yeah I'd eat that

i don't see any problem, are those fingers or something

Not sure what the point of a breakfast taco is when there are breakfast burritos, especially if you make them with flour tortillas. (Still would eat, of course.)

it lets the fillings breathe

I don't really like eggs but I'm kind of wanting that.

needs hot sauce

i hate eggs

oh that is an egg!!!!!! where do i sign

shit, I didn't realize that

https://www.eater.com/2017/8/23/16192508/kfc-virtual-reality-training-oculus-rift

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3PJQ_E7Se0

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2017/08/meat-industry-meatingplace/538077/

A lot of people in the ag industries in general, but specifically talking about meat, would have benefited tremendously from the Trans-Pacific Partnership. There's a real crazy quilt of tariffs and fees and things, and this would have simplified a lot of that for the Asian markets, which are huge markets for U.S. meat these days. And there's a lot of concern for the future of NAFTA. The official line is, “We're not looking to walk away from NAFTA—we're just trying to renegotiate it.” There's a lot of concern that in order to get, for example, more automobile manufacturing back on this side of the border from Mexico, they might be using ag products, specifically meat, as sort of a lever for that.

I think what they're really excited about is new avenues—you have this Millennial generation that's really much more open to different kinds of tastes and cuts, and the industry is kind of giddy about what they can do, and flavors that they can play with, and different presentations that are being sought out by audiences that have not been sought out previously.

there's something so ominously chilling about that whole quote

“Corndogs don’t grow on trees … they’re produced on the PTL-2600”

https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-o55ZCV6QEgk/Weytu8UIQMI/AAAAAAAA5_c/FKlg4vvN8i0dY2-chqAES_5wPN45NX85ACLcBGAs/s640/arbys-venison-sandwich-01.jpg

What the hell is that?

image link says argh’s vension burger

gonna see if it’s anywhere local, although it looks like a turd

argh’s -> arby’s

it only existed for one (1) day

(xpost) I think you were right the first time...

it only existed for one (1) day
thousands of years ago
they say when the mist sweeps in
a wolf howls
it appears
surrounded by potato pancakes

The Headless Horsey Sauce