Bait My Clickhole

http://www.clickhole.com/article/pr-nightmare-zales-has-apologized-after-debuting-e-6155

Today is head writer @jamieabrew's last day at ClickHole, so please join me in celebrating some of his masterpieces: https://t.co/WZXiO2YDdV

— Dan Abromowitz (@AnnDabromowitz) June 23, 2017

Hey, that Clickhole writer is the Object Dreams guy! Cool.

I have enjoyed so many of those.

oh shit, his writing style is peerless and so distinctive

unless they all write like that

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-badly-are-you-ripping-city-des-moines-5656

hitting pretty close to home, here

their youtube videos are amazing

my top 5 would be something like

1. if you don't think you have any racial prejudices you better watch this video
2. red lobster advert
3. halfwit idiot peels orange at wife's funeral LONG VERSION NO SOUND
4. how to change your linkedin to announce your dad is sick
5. bribe for doctor

Share to honor this hero. pic.twitter.com/541uiVZkfp

— PatriotHole (@PatriotHole) July 25, 2017

ahaha

omg

that des moines quiz was shared to the facebook wall of a friend who is active in local politics and she made some joking comments on it

the mayor of des moines called her to ask what she's angry about

i'm dying

Ha!!

fwiw her result was

The City Of Des Moines Might Be Ripping You Off!There is no easy way to say this, but the city of Des Moines is almost definitely taking you for a ride. You need to sit down with the mayor of Des Moines and have a frank, honest conversation about his behavior. You do not deserve to be swindled like this by the city of Des Moines. Best of luck.

her comment was about having a "frank conversation with Frank!"

This is my favourite thing right now

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/youre-hogwarts-only-guidance-counselor-can-you-con-6351

Favourite part is this page:

What’s college?”

College is a very expensive way to meet men named Bryant and then much later find out they died climbing on top of a subway car

College is where you go to stock up on all the experiences your young brain needs to make nightmares for the rest of your life

College is where you go to lose your mouth virginity to a dancer

College is where you learn one thing pretty well and then spend the rest of your life figuring out if anyone wants to talk about it

College is what 'Risky Business' is all about

that des moines quiz was shared to the facebook wall of a friend who is active in local politics and she made some joking comments on it

the mayor of des moines called her to ask what she's angry about

this is making two former Iowans in this house very, very happy

http://www.clickhole.com/article/connoisseurs-rejoice-colgate-releasing-its-85-year-6423

omg

that des moines quiz was shared to the facebook wall of a friend who is active in local politics and she made some joking comments on it

the mayor of des moines called her to ask what she's angry about

― mh, Tuesday, July 25, 2017 3:35 PM (three weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmbo no way

if that weren't ridiculous enough, that was followed up by the revelation said mayor was part of a group of local hoodlums known as the "All Center Bums" in the '60s: http://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/life/2017/08/04/antics-all-center-bums-long-gone-but-still-remembered/414038001/

simply wonderful

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/draw-curtains-these-street-urchins-peering-our-roa-4324

"mail slot" though

americans relish their terrible british impressions best when they are especially terrible

bracing

The mainstream media has a new worst enemy. Watch 'PatriotHole' starting 9.6.17, hosted by the fearless @PatriotHoleDoug pic.twitter.com/vIi4RtrWL4

— PatriotHole (@PatriotHole) August 29, 2017

http://reductress.com/post/how-to-explain-to-your-children-that-daddy-used-to-have-cumgutters/

reductress is one of the few things that can shock me in their bluntness

http://www.dirgemag.com/garden-earthly-delights-quiz/

http://www.clickhole.com/article/may-i-papa-mcdonalds-releasing-new-fig-and-ladyfin-6540

http://www.clickhole.com/article/changing-times-random-house-has-instructed-toni-mo-6628

^^^ this is wonderful

http://www.clickhole.com/article/must-see-tv-vanna-white-revealed-true-name-god-whe-6722

the tags

http://www.clickhole.com/article/emotional-confession-giada-de-laurentiis-wrote-hea-6770

prepare to die

someone was inspired!

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/can-you-match-stephen-king-monster-novels-drawn-ou-6856

This has to be the angriest thing I've seen on Clickhole or The Onion

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-employees-clickholecom-have-voted-unanimously-d-6952

That is the first Clickhole article I've seen that isn't tagged with "WOW"

ironically enough, wow

4d checkers

you guys! this one!

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-well-do-you-know-6-parts-dog-6949

also, that One Direction history was inspired.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/if-youre-five-boys-you-can-do-anything-oral-histor-6913

Niall Horan: Zayn leaving knocked out huge chunks of our back catalog. We couldn’t perform “Zayn’s Lament,” “A Zayn Will Rise (The Cycle Of Zayn Part II),” or even “A Trial And A Reckoning (The Cycle Of Zayn Part VII).” We were sending fans home disappointed every night.

A re-up, so you may have seen it already, but still absolutely worth reposting.

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-one-my-garbage-sons-are-you-1458

https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/23826050_1971430463097210_6741132498910659370_o.jpg?oh=4b8f1bde79e2176b00a16266bfae0e3b&oe=5A894BE9

lmfao

The garbage sons thing is one of the crowning achievements of the internet (no sarcasm)

its one of the best pieces of writing

and we dont know who wrote it!

its not brendan ohare as someone suggested upthread btw, i know because patricia lockwood tweeted saying she me the writer in chicago on her book tour and the day she was in chicago ohare posted a picture from pennsylvania, i tweeted at lockwood asking who it was and no response

lmao

this has been bother me for a while!

every time i reread i forget about the blowhole full of bones, it's so beautiful

the person who wrote that is responsible for most of clickhole's best content i think, and is probably the pre-eminent american humorist of our age