rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

-1 fillet I'm not a monster

uh, i... i... i'm feeling brave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL_Xyi2u-T8

was legit expecting that amiable tractor driver to unhinge his jaw to eat that fucking thing

you just kinda bang your face into it i guess

the fuck is a "DOUBLE FILLITZ"

http://www.bbc.com/news/av/business-39896838/a-cheaper-tastier-way-to-eat-lunch-at-work

this is getting mocked on twitter, as you'd expect, but it led me to the BRITISH SANDWICH AWARDS, which has some amazing corporate chain restaurant copywriting

http://awards.sandwich.org.uk/index.php/awards/winners/197-the-new-sandwich-product-award-winner

Food Ingredient Category
My Bombay Airwrap

The judges comments are very expressive: "I would buy this product."

http://awards.sandwich.org.uk/index.php/sandwich-designer-competition

This year's competition categories are:

The Harvey and Brockless Pesto & Relish Sandwich Designer of the Year
The H. Smith Food Group Tuna Sandwich Designer of the Year
The New York Bakery Bagels Sandwich Designer of the Year
The Norseland Mexicana®, Applewood® and Jarlsberg® Sandwich Designer of the Year
The Pan'Artisan Focacia Romana Sandwich Designer of the Year
The Sam Browne Foods British Red Tractor, Farm Assured Poultry Sandwich Designer of the Year

Two new options from returning sponsors, Harvey and Brockless, contestants may choose to use either or both of the products, together with other ingredients of their choice to create their sandwich recipe.

Choose From
Finest Pesto

Not just your average run of the mill pesto, this Fresh Basil Pesto is created with a blend of Veronese basil, our Luca 100% Picual Extra Virgin Olive Oil, 24 month Parmigiano-Reggiano, pine nuts and garlic. It combines everything you would want in an authentic fresh pesto; intensity, saltiness, texture and a herbaceous kick allowing it to stand up to any ingredient it is put with.

Green Kraut Relish

For the love of all things fermented our team have developed a sauerkraut relish cooked with cucumber, dill and cider vinegar to create the quintessential sweet, tart, textured relish that works fantastically in contrast to a range of ingredients from American hotdogs to Scandinavian salmon. Our Greenkraut relish is bang on trend and packs a fragrant punch.

bang on trend

combines everything you want in a pesto... basil, olive oil, pine nuts, parm, garlic

skimmed too fast and thought there was a pesto with sauerkraut in it

Ah that's our sauerpest range.

lol

the yellow stuff is custard

― The Patricia Routledge Meatspin Gif Has Made You Gay (bizarro gazzara)

dripping from a dead bird's eye?

http://i.imgur.com/m7M7PbU.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/0IuaN0C.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/d6AypSE.jpg

😫

https://www.mcdonalds.es/productos/sandwiches/grand-mcextreme-mcdonald-s-grill

a friend of mine is in madrid and just alerted me to the GRAND MCEXTREME DE MCDONALD'S

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/business/wp/2017/05/18/lucky-charms-cannot-find-the-magic-in-natural-ingredients-so-its-going-full-on-sugar-bomb/?utm_term=.5317f2a03127&tid=a_inl

Americans are eating less cereal, but executives at General Mills are hoping they’ve found a way to revive sales: By offering customers a chance to win one of 10,000 boxes filled with nothing but Lucky Charms marshmallows.

On its website, General Mills calls marshmallow-only Lucky Charms “the unicorn of the cereal world — fantasized about, but never seen.” In reality, they come with more sugar per serving than a Snickers bar or Twinkie.

It’s a change in direction for the maker of Cheerios, Trix and Wheaties, which two years ago announced it would remove artificial flavors and colors from Lucky Charms marshmallows by 2017. That effort has since stalled — company scientists have yet to find natural substitutes that won’t affect flavor — but Mike Siemienas, a Lucky Charms spokesman, says work is ongoing.

“It’s still our biggest challenge,” Siemienas said. “We’ll let you know once we’ve found a solution.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/23/dining/jamaican-beef-patties.html?smid=tw-nytfood&smtyp=cur&_r=0

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2017/05/24/dining/24PATTY2/24PATTY2-master675.jpg

BEEF PATTY FOOD LAB

Huh, so Spanish McDonalds don't have 'burger' anywhere, they're all called 'sandwiches' and not even the Spanish word for sandwiches, yet burgers exist in Spain

https://www.bacoaburger.com

I'm not sure why this is all so fascinating to me

I was in a Burger King the other day because shut up don't judge me, and I saw that they allow you to add extra patties to your Whopper and it's limitless, although they charge you per patty.

when I was in high school, some kids in the class before mine had an annual contest where they would try to one-up each other by ordering a six or seven party whopper

patty, that is. their stomachs threw the party

was everyone invited?

after six or seven whoppers in one sitting i'm sure that's not all their stomachs threw

that sauce in the south carolina stack from mcdonalds (uk) was good
but the bun was a bit breakfast muffiny, i didn't like it too much

i'm going to ireland this weekend and i was curious about the mcdonald's menu on offer there... unfortunately this item was phased out a couple of weeks back

http://www.mcdonalds.ie/iehome/food/full_menu/beef/gta_new_york_stack1.html

when I was in high school, some kids in the class before mine had an annual contest where they would try to one-up each other by ordering a six or seven party whopper

― mh, Wednesday, May 24, 2017 5:22 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

in high school my friend dave and i would see how many mcdonalds hamburgers we could eat. i think he did 8 and i 6 or 7.

that wasn't my business, but Taco John's had the half price Tuesday deal and I took out six tacos for sure

there was an "Irish" burger at McDonalds here for awhile. I believe it's been discontinued though

wasn't a huge fan of the new york stack but then i dont really like bagels

xpost it's a hot dog

LOUISVILLE, Ky. — KFC plans to make a space pioneer out of a chicken sandwich next week when it sends it to the edge of the atmosphere with the help of a high-altitude balloon.

The promotional stunt for the Zinger sandwich comes two months after the fast food chain unveiled Rob Lowe playing Kentucky Fried Chicken founder Col. Harland Sanders in a space suit as part of an ad campaign. The ads promised to send the breaded chicken sandwich into space.

KFC is partnering with balloon maker World View on the project. The chain says the launch window opens June 21 for what it says is the longest controlled stratospheric balloon flight with a commercial payload in history. The sandwich will return to earth and bring back telemetry data.

Godspeed brave Zinger

KFC: Food You'll Laika

I don't know which cartoon to suggest: the highbrow route with Isaac Newton dropping his apple in favor of an offered Zinger or the ape from 2001 throwing his bone up into the air.

obv. the ape would throw a double down up into the air

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/is-mcdonalds-made-fresh-quarter-pounder-worth-the-extra-minute-wait/2017/06/21/276d1cc4-5696-11e7-b38e-35fd8e0c288f_story.html?utm_term=.b87fa432a864&tid=sm_tw

lotta analysis to mull over

lol at another one of these promotions that in the end amounts to "and remember, normally our food has been sitting there for fifteen minutes after a limp reheat from frozen!"

If I wanted a fresh burger, I would go to a proper place. If I'm at McDonalds I obviously couldn't give a fuck about freshness and would prefer not spending an extra minute actually being in a McDonalds.

The sandwich will return to earth and bring back telemetry data.

that is a top tier sentence

https://i.cbc.ca/1.4182875.1498696105!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/16x9_620/tim-hortons-poutine-donut.jpg

A poutine dougnut available to celebrate Canada's 150th birthday available only in Tim Horton's locations in the U.S.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/tim-hortons-poutine-doughnut-canada-day-150-1.4182768

what the shit

I know! How come Canada doesn't get one?

"let's sell this to the Americans, they'll eat anything!"

How can we get them to get more poutine though? Think!

There it is. The brave chicken sandwich going to the stratosphere. What a beauty. https://t.co/gxzMWbwyQo pic.twitter.com/xnmzgEypnC

— Miriam Kramer (@mirikramer) June 29, 2017

Joseph Kittinger would be so proud.

my friends, this story is the mothership

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2017-07-19/the-mad-cheese-scientists-fighting-to-save-the-dairy-industry