britishers -- tell me about WIMPY BARS and their shitty burgers

With the brand recognition and affection Wimpy has, they could totally resurrect themselves as a more modern burger bar - dirty beef porn style - and probably do quite well. Cooler and more sophisticated than McDs or Burger King (keep the slightly clean, modernist decor), less hipster than your indie mini chains.

Five Guys, basically.

five guys already exists tho

they should turn the remaining wimpys into unique horror-dining experiences where you have to scarf your grey, flaccid wimpy burger on the hoof while trying to avoid the terrifying attention of a feral, cannibalistic mr wimpy, who roams the restaurant in search of human sport

if you avoid mr wimpy for the duration of your meal you get to eat free; if you don't, you get recycled in the vast soylent green factories of post-brexit britain (and charged for your meal)

I had my last Wimpy burger at a service station driving home from Reading Festival about 13 years ago. The bun was wholemeal. THE BUN WAS WHOLEMEAL.

Wholemeal buns were usually reserved for the bean burgers, iirc.

I can't remember the last time I even saw a Wimpy. My brother used to work in the Dawlish one. There was lone in dawlish! Early 80s franchising gone mad.

One not lone. Too excited.

The last Wimpy I ate was about 2 years ago at the Porthcawl one spotted by Dog Latin. Porthcawl funfair was hosting its annual Elvis festival. The whole thing was grim af.

i saw one in ireland on the way back from a rave in the wicklow countryside a long time ago, at a petrol station in the middle of nowhere.

which makes sense: Wimpy has been in Ireland on two occasions, in the 1960s, and more recently in the early 2000s.[29] In the 2000s, petrol station chain operator Petrogas took on the master franchise for Ireland,[30] and had operated a large number of sites until 2010.[31]

i saw one in ireland on the way back from a rave in the wicklow countryside

really, there needs to be a 'real ireland' thread

Wholemeal buns were usually reserved for the bean burgers, iirc.

This was def not a bean burger

is 13 years too long to wait to complain to wimpy that you got the wrong bun? do their customer services department have a statute of limitations?

brb gonna apply for a position in wimpy's burger-crime squad

i believe slater gordon are taking on these cases as one big bloc lawsuit

xpost

historic wimpy negligence

my last wimpy was in luxembourg ca. 1984 and i got food poisoning so badly i spent the rest of the trip hunched up and shaking on the hotel toilet like a pale teenage foetus, feeling with each deep spasm that i was somehow spraying out my mortal soul in judderingly violent blasts across the cold holiday inn porcelain

finally, mr wimpy will face justice xp

nick, slater gordon's freefone number is 0808 175 8000 - time to get on this class-action gravy train

let us never talk of gravy again

i had at least two or three birthday parties at the dunfermline branch of wimpy back in the late 80s/early 90s

i have an indelible memory of an employee in full head-to-toe mr wimpy drag encouraging me and my friends to compete against each other in a pushup contest. the reasons why, sadly, are lost to time but i can't help but infer a sinister motive

those contests were videotaped and sold to prominent tory mps

fuck

not even a cut of the profits either

I remember the buns being wholemeal for the Quarter and Half-pounders. Didn't bother me at all, they might even have been better than McD's and BK's overall.

The bun was wholemeal. THE BUN WAS WHOLEMEAL.

Having had a few "gastropub" burgers lately with over-sweet brioche buns taller than any human's mouth, outside incinerated until the whole thing has the texture of a brick, I would go for a nice soft wholemeal bun tbh

since brioche buns became an easy way to try to tell people you're not serving a hockey puck in a ciabatta, there definitely are some bad examples of the same, but i had a burger recently that came in bread and it brought back bad memories, so heavy and doesn't even hold together. a light brioche bun is the best. the m&s ones are nice for your own bbq too.

since brioche buns became an easy way to try to tell people you're not serving a hockey puck

I can also attest that some of those brioche buns LIE

yeah true. p much everywhere in london now does brioche buns, i've had some terrible burgers at team lunches in westminster or whatever, prob the most retrograde spot in the city for pubs/ways of working, and it's always a brioche bun.

Pret can fuck off with their brioche - restore the muffin.

Last one I saw was on Southsea sea front, maybe two years ago?

according to the wimpy website they have 81 restaurants in the uk, perhaps not coincidentally in many locations i'd suspect are living at least 20 years behind the rest of the country

there are two within 20 miles of my current location! maybe i should make a pilgrimage and hope that it doesn't jar loose any repressed memories surrounding the circumstances of my pushup contest

http://www.les-crises.fr/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/quote-s-ils-n-ont-pas-de-pain-qu-ils-mangent-de-la-brioche-marie-antoinette-d-autriche-114706.jpg

now you leave woolwich alone

the chatham branch appears to be deliberately cultivating an air of mystery

CHATHAM
245A High street
Chatham, Kent, ME4 4BQ

Telephone :01634 789424

Hours:
Monday : TBC
Tuesday : TBC
Wednesday : TBC
Thursday : TBC
Friday : TBC
Saturdays : TBC
Sundays : TBC

perhaps it shows up in our plane of reality for just one day every century

it only opens on feb 29th

PORTHCAWL

Note that this is a seasonal Wimpy outlet and opening dates/hours are subject to change. Please contact the outlet for further info.

open once a year on christmas day

i think my nearest is on telscombe cliffs, i think the locals keep it going as some sort of bastion of inedibleness to ward off the marauding waves

Just checked - Southsea is open for biz - here is one of the good reviews..

“A year later and still an O.K. Beanburger and a dump”

3 of 5 bubbles Reviewed 22 January 2017

.. you only feel better after one of those things..

king's lynn branch sounds like it caters for specific tastes

★★★★★
Never had a more delectable bender in my life! It was perfection... It just melted my taste buds with its meaty sensation defiantly recommend to anyone that loves a good bit of meat ;)

If they still did the banana split I might consider visiting the Birkenhead location, but the brown derby doesn't have the same appeal.

everything about this discussion now sounds like a euphemism for adventurous sex after that king's lynn review

I'm always glad to see that the Wimpy in Nottingham remains open, emblazoned with its 'Bender in a Bun' offers.

Last time I ate in a Wimpy was ~21 years ago, and co-incidentally one of the friends I was with had a Bender in a Bun. He said it was like eating a bicycle inner tube.

phwoar

five guys already exists tho

I walk past a Five Guys on the way home from work every evening, and they have a level of modernity and hipness that the marketeers at Wimpy couldn't even dream of.

so wimpy has a bean burger? child jim didn't care for such shenanigans but adult jim who doesn't eat meat would give it a bash

My friend's pet name for me and her is "a bender 'n a bun"

haha

i once went to the wimpy on union street in glasgow when i was wee but all i remember of it was that half the people in there were smoking. way it should be imo, before the nanny state clamped down n such

i used to go to the one on byres road fairly often as a kid and also remember the people smoking and there being a non-smoking section