rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

Fuckin around with this nonsense when they should be putting some kinda chili peppers and some sauce on a got dang burger

http://i.imgur.com/9DlkmVD.png

so it's a milkshake with colorful indistinct-tasting bits of crushed sugar in it and whipped cream that looks like cake frosting

at least the shit that gets mixed into a mcflurry remains in a form where its taste is detectable? this is just froot loop crumbs

okay thinking about that turned my stomach and idk why really, no worse than most of the things in the mcflurry league. on paper, anyway.

is this a weird rip of the momofuku milk bar cereal milk shakes

Probably. I think it's also part of the post Doritos Tacos Loco "shit, we don't have to throw away the crumbs from the factory anymore!" movement.

will not abide this locos tacos slander

I mean, they taste great but that dust's coming from somewhere

and it's probably not a bunch of dudes in chef's whites rubbing Doritos across microplane graters

chop me out a big fat rail of floot loops dust, daddy needs sugar

okay. back to basics

http://www.cnbc.com/2017/05/01/mcdonalds-invents-the-frork-to-pitch-its-new-burgers.html

frork you

how's it handle tofu?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/food/wp/2017/05/05/i-tried-to-use-the-mcdonalds-frork-it-was-actually-kind-of-fun/?utm_term=.86737bd3d8d4&tid=sm_tw

Still, I channeled my inner Beavis and Butt-Head and assembled a frork with fries shaped into devil horns. (See photo above.) I had this free-floating concern that my sandwich wouldn’t drop a load of guacamole, buttermilk ranch and pico de gallo without me squeezing it like pastry bag, but it performed beautifully. There were plenty of topping droppings to mop up with the frork, fulfilling its function in life.

Of course, to keep the game going, I did have to squeeze my sandwich like a pastry bag to get more toppings to tumble. So be it. This was the most fun I’ve had at McDonald’s since I was a kid (and the Pico Guacamole grilled chicken wasn’t so bad, either). I had to wonder, though, was I enjoying this because of the Ikea Effect, that phenomenon in which a product’s value increases with the amount of labor you invest in it?

https://i.imgur.com/4RGStPz.jpg

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51lQyOnR25L._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

9.23!

How come I didn't think of that.

brb, gonna shove a hot pocket into a stick of pepperoni.

So, what is going to take the place of Burger Business? http://www.brandeating.com/ and http://www.theimpulsivebuy.com/ do check off some of the same boxes, at least a far as keeping up with food laboratory developments - if not the investigative reporting into third-quarter financial reports and late-breaking daypart crises.

thanks for both those links!

"Brand Eating" - finally, a blog for me.

But seriously, what the hell is this: http://www.brandeating.com/2017/05/great-tastes-of-america-menu-makes-annual-return-to-mcdonalds-uk-2017.html

Before you click that link, try to guess what state this burger is named after:

two beef patties, pepper jack cheese, red and yellow peppers, mayo, and spicy ketchup on a spicy sesame seed bun

ha they do 4 of them every year here in the uk

their state affiliations seem highly suspect

the smashburger chain has localized burgers and the local one has this on their menu as the "Iowa":

Maytag® Blue Cheese, applewood smoked bacon,
haystack onions, lettuce, tomato & mayo on an
egg bun.

bacon and blue cheese both local products but I'm sure the perception would differ outside the region, let alone country

oh, i found one i liked recently!

http://burgerlad.com/

the writer(s?) and commenters alike are all sort of charmingly wide-eyed about whatever monstrosities us crazy americans will come up with next - their review of one of the nine (!) taco bells in the UK reassures us that "the burrito didn't come ripped in half like that. I did that for 'review purposes.'"

http://i.imgur.com/66N3tp9.png

when, glad to see the "kfc alabama cheeseburger" takes advantage of that loophole where "burger" can be things other than beef in different places

Can a chicken burger not be considered a burger where you are from, mh?

time to fire up the 'is a hot dog a sandwich' thread again

'god knows what's in the sauce but it was delicious' made me lol irl btw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kxYkZtoAi8

I've never heard, locally, anything other than a beef (or beef-approximating) patty on a bun referred to as a burger. As in, a burger is a beef hamburger patty. Black bean burgers or whatever vegan equivalent usually means something that looks like a beef hamburger but isn't.

Chicken on a bun is a chicken sandwich. I'm fine with "chicken burger" but it's not really a thing here

I guess a fringe case would be a ground meat on bun thing, the ground meat (or faux-meat) patty is the thing. I've had lamburgers and "chicken burgers" but they were ground meat, not a piece of chicken

i've never had kimchi and thought 'what this needs is more 7up'

mh, here in the nightmare netherworld of theresa may's britain chicken burgers are def a thing, eg

https://img.tesco.com/Groceries/pi/641/5000116101641/IDShot_540x540.jpg

made with real bird's eyes iirc

completely aware, just saying it's not the norm in the kfc homeland

that smashburger chain I mentioned above, their website has it differentiated to the point there's a stark BURGERS | CHICKEN category distinction!
http://smashburger.com/eat/menu/

i just looked at burger king's uk website to confirm that they serve a chicken burger (they do) and i found a link to a bk delivery site which opens on this display of mysterious matter

http://i1247.photobucket.com/albums/gg622/bizarrogazzara/Lumps_zpsuauhrnxr.jpg

i feel like having these brought to your house could be considered a hate crime

the product on the right looks like some sort of cheese popper which would have jalapeno bits inside in the US, but I hesitate to make any assumptions on what the green bits could be elsewhere

lime jelly, iirc

the yellow stuff is custard

Whatever happened to the jalapeño popper? Used to be everywhere. I guess I don't really patronize fast casual chains anymore so maybe I'm just not seeing them in my bubble.

went full fast food, people burned out on them afaik

looking closer i think those burger king 'snacks' might be served on old wallpaper offcuts

re: Seven-Up recipes - - - I can't seem to find Lileks's original coverage of Cooking With Seven-Up (maybe pulled after being incorporated into a book?) but here's a worthwhile followup series: http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/sevenup2/index.html

http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/sevenup2/4.jpg

when my great-grandmother was alive she made something like the above jello mold every thanksgiving that involved lime jello, 7-up, fruit cocktail, a shitload of whipped cream, and CELERY AND WALNUTS

god knows i miss her but i do not miss that

. . . piquant . . . delicious!

I never knew about the burger thing!

https://www.kfc.com/menu/sandwiches/
http://www.kfc.co.nz/menu/burger-combos/