Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

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I dunno, the saccharine smell makes me light headed enough to find the overly helpful gay hippie sales staff agreeable

MPx4A, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:46 (fifteen years ago) link

When Lush was new on the high street it pissed me off cos I thought it was a cheese shop every time I walked past until I looked properly

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:47 (fifteen years ago) link

The worst for chumminess is the 'VAT Nightmare' notices in branches of Pret.

"Hi, we are legally required to add on VAT when you eat in. Nightmare."

FUCK OFF.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:47 (fifteen years ago) link

I can't say I've ever given it that much thought (orig thread qn that is) I bought one once from the college canteen but it was nowt special and cost too much for such a tiny bottle. I noticed that there seemed to be some kind of wanky blether on the side of the bottle about how aweosme it all was but it was tl;dr so I hoyed it in the bin. Life's too short.

Pashmina, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:48 (fifteen years ago) link

xxpost

lol I still make the cheese shop error on occasion.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:49 (fifteen years ago) link

I do think Passant1no needs to alternate threads methodically attacking every single facet of modern life with enthusiastic pro-something material, in order to show willingness to build bridges with non-zingers and Keep It Positive

Tomorrow: YAYYYY! THE FIRST TWO HOURS OF WCW NITRO FROM 1996-1998! YAYYYY!

MPx4A, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:49 (fifteen years ago) link

He did the kebab van thread last week.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:51 (fifteen years ago) link

Kebabs and La Parka are the only two joys in my life, tbh

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:51 (fifteen years ago) link

"Lush" the soap shop (as opposed to Miki and Emma) you could not walk past as they would pump out horrible soap fumes to 'entice' you in.

I think they've stopped doing that.

Still, never been in.

Mark G, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:54 (fifteen years ago) link

northampton town FM champions league success xpost

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:54 (fifteen years ago) link

you could edit a new team into FM consisting entirely of near-crippled 97-vintage Luchadors, all chewing on a kebab while Blitzkrieg racks up the assists and Ciclope's disciplinary record becomes a cause for concern

MPx4A, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:56 (fifteen years ago) link

(xxpost) The one near me still smells like Willy Wonka's bathroom, although it does cover up the smell of desperation from the salesmen in the mobile phone shop next door.

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:56 (fifteen years ago) link

(CUSTOS TRIBUTE MONTH!)

MPx4A, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:57 (fifteen years ago) link

you could edit a new team into FM consisting entirely of near-crippled 97-vintage Luchadors, all chewing on a kebab while Blitzkrieg racks up the assists and Ciclope's disciplinary record becomes a cause for concern

^^^ Believe this is next season's Luton squad.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:57 (fifteen years ago) link

your favourite jokes about wwe

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:58 (fifteen years ago) link

Villano IV Flattered By Canaries Interest

MPx4A, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:59 (fifteen years ago) link

Luchadors <<< mis-read this as Labradors...

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:59 (fifteen years ago) link

What's Chris Benoit's favourite Junior "Gong" Marley song?
The one where he says "murder" a lot (Chris Benoit strangled before his wife and son to death before hanging himself)!

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:00 (fifteen years ago) link

Jake Roberts: No no, you don't understand! Crack Smoke Into The Police Officer's Face is the name of my dog!

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:06 (fifteen years ago) link

Big thing of Tesco frozen "summer fruits" + juice + yogurt + banana = what, a fiver? If going by Innocent's pitifully small portion size, the above ingredients will make about a dozen smoothies, all of which taste better and are fresh. Look, I just out-smugged Innocent.

Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:12 (fifteen years ago) link

yeah but Tesco are the real enemy (lol 1up)

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:13 (fifteen years ago) link

AND I WAS DOING SO WELL

Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:14 (fifteen years ago) link

What if I lug home my frozen "summer fruits" in a 50p Tesco reusable grocery bag? That saves the lives of several African children each time, IIRC.

Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:15 (fifteen years ago) link

Q. WHY WAS CHRIS BENOIT ANGRY AT THE GUARDIAN'S ACCUSATION THAT TESCO ENGAGES IN TAX-DODGING?
A. BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT SHOWING ENOUGH RESPECT FOR (THE) BUSINESS!

MPx4A, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:17 (fifteen years ago) link

What's Chris Benoit's least favourite Elton John song?
Daniel (he killed his son Daniel before hanging himself)!

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:18 (fifteen years ago) link

xxxxxxxxxxp
Lush was like this years ago though when it was Cosmetics To Go. Back then it really was a refreshing change.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:19 (fifteen years ago) link

philipplahmforum.jpg is a better and more widely-applicable jpg meme than your crummy attempt mr acrobat

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:24 (fifteen years ago) link

xpost

Those guys have never seen the inside of a Lush store.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:24 (fifteen years ago) link

Again, instead of buying Lush products you can just blend seaweed, olive oil and lye in a rectilinear mold, give it two weeks to "set" and bob's your uncle.

Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:27 (fifteen years ago) link

It's not the same if you don't buy it off a floppy fringed pierced guy called Jason for 28.95

MPx4A, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:28 (fifteen years ago) link

they have guys working in there?

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:30 (fifteen years ago) link

(xxpost)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f6/Fight_Club_bar_of_soap.jpg

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:30 (fifteen years ago) link

Jason work in Boots. Hugo and Louis work in Lush. xxpost

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:30 (fifteen years ago) link

anyone who catches me working in lush has the right to drown me in shower-gel

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:33 (fifteen years ago) link

"he died of natural ingredients"

Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:40 (fifteen years ago) link

LOL

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:41 (fifteen years ago) link

oh oh oh I can make a crap joek here!
Q: Did you hear about the robbers who held up a branch of Lush?
A: They made a clean getaway...

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 14:44 (fifteen years ago) link

Today I went free to a big charity cricket function, ended up captaining the Popbitch XI, won us a game, and drank about 7 smoothies.

I have been on some sort of completely ridiculous sugar-rush ever since.

But there is more. Vitamin Water from Glaceau (owned by Coca-Cola) is a new product aimed at being our fucking mate. It puts Innocent to SHAME in terms of bloodcurdling label blurb. I collected the labels of all five different flavours, and if you're lucky, when I wake up I'll reprint them here.

They are, without exception, criminal.

Just got offed, Sunday, 20 July 2008 00:09 (fifteen years ago) link

http://www.glaceau.com/

Fucking destroy

Jarlrmai, Sunday, 20 July 2008 00:51 (fifteen years ago) link

OMG IN THE TOP CORNER ON THE SITE THERE IS AN ACUTE ACCENT ON THE E OF GLACEAU

THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MICROSECOND

THEN READ ALL THE BLURBS ON THE SIDE OF THEIR VITAMINWATER BOTTLES

THEN SCREAM A LONG LONG SCREAM

Just got offed, Sunday, 20 July 2008 00:58 (fifteen years ago) link

I THINK IF YOU ARE SO EASILY REDUCED TO SCREAMING

THEN YOU AREN'T GOING TO LAST VERY LONG BACK IN LEWISHAM

SERIOUSLY CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN YOU PASS A NEWSAGENT

FUCK'S SAKE

Matt DC, Sunday, 20 July 2008 01:57 (fifteen years ago) link

';)'

Matt DC, Sunday, 20 July 2008 01:58 (fifteen years ago) link

Did not 50 Cent originally own Vitamins Wadders and then sell it to Coke for many a pretty penny?

Abbott, Sunday, 20 July 2008 02:02 (fifteen years ago) link

Yeah, $100 million. Credit crunch really hitting him hard.

Ned Trifle II, Sunday, 20 July 2008 07:48 (fifteen years ago) link

Or $400 million. Or a coupla million. Anyway a lot.

Ned Trifle II, Sunday, 20 July 2008 07:51 (fifteen years ago) link

so is this like the smoothie version of http://www.muffinfilms.com/ ?

Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, 20 July 2008 07:54 (fifteen years ago) link

Never heard of this product, but hating it so much already:

We'll spare you the cheesy "on hold music"

Thanks... Oh wait a minute it's a website oh that's sooooo meta FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF

vitaminwater - it works

You know, because there are so many other beverage products that don't work. If I had a dollar for every time I've drunk plain old stupid water out of a tap and I've ended up feeling more thirsty...

fruitwater - natural is healthy, artificial is not

Here's some water containing extract of deadly nightshade - it's healthy, because it's natural!

snoball, Sunday, 20 July 2008 07:57 (fifteen years ago) link

so is this like the smoothie version of http://www.muffinfilms.com/ ?

I bet a lot of people go to that site expecting a different kind of muffin film. I also suspect that their muffins taste like styrofoam.

snoball, Sunday, 20 July 2008 08:00 (fifteen years ago) link

muffinfilms isn't actually a muffin company lol

Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, 20 July 2008 08:02 (fifteen years ago) link


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