Blue Saturday

just momentarily overwhelmed more than surprised. it's the totally predictable consequence of not being invested in My Life, all my goals were just to get things to a level where i could think about that stuff as little as possible, so its mostly inertia, then making some misguidedly optimistic bad decisions that i hoped might address the underlying malaise and shift me into a better way of being. but no, i've just done a lot of damage, and now i have a lot more work to do from a worse position and some of the time it feels like it's not going to end well. this is all a lot of rubbish and i will feel better later. but sometimes all you can think about is shooting that guy, no matter the consequences

just been emailed a job ad for a lighthouse keeper on spurn head. felt like this was the one job i was cut out for until i read it and it's mostly about meeting and greeting the public amd not so much being stuck up a tower being idle and desolate all day long :(

Spurn does get cut off in the winter tho

http://www.sixthtone.com/news/lonesome-honor-keeping-lighthouse-legacy-alight

“No people; simple, repetitive work; bad air; and the seawater is not blue,” Ye says, pointing to the smoking chimneys across the water that, when the wind blows a certain way, fill the air with the smell of rotten eggs. “It’s just not what I thought it would be.”

“Lighthouse work is very easy nowadays,” Fan says. “It’s kind of like being retired. It’s just a waste of time for young people.”

Ye and his mother are Christians, and Ye met a woman at church whom he dated for a while, but things didn’t work out between them. “I react slowly; I don’t know how to express my thoughts, and sometimes my thinking is too simple,” he says. His parents and relatives made further attempts at matchmaking, but most women did not look favorably upon his career prospects and salary.

mate. <beats heart with fist emphatically>

ah, the end of the holidays and the age-old question arises: work or suicide?

answer never gets any easier

would take the lighthouse job in a heartbeat

should I spend 90 quid and my entire weekend on a John Grant curated Scando-tweetronica festival, I am v torn

https://www.hull2017.co.uk//app/uploads/2017/04/North-Atlantic-Flux-schedule-and-map.pdf

I mean Lindstrøm vs Cobby & Litten is quite aggravating

I wanna rave but I also could go see Toni Erdmann tomorrow, watch Joshua-Klitschko in the pub and eat a lot of pizza all weekend

city of culture biting me hard for the first time this year

nah that's a simple choice isn't it? Lindstrom unlikely to ever play Hull again.

North Atlantic Flux looks great but can't justify the cash this month.

the cash is a big part of my reluctance, plus I really have other domestic things I could do rather than a 4 day freakout

my inner completist won't let me just do the 2 days

leaning quite hard towards doing this anyway, I suspect it's undersold because at one time there was supposed to be a third tranche of tickets at £120+ and that's disappeared

C&L on earlier on the Saturday afternoon too by the look of it.

sleep and pizza and boxing and video games are good tho.

the fact that Gate Number 8 is ten minutes walk from my house is a lure

"He bid me lie in green land down"

do it nv, you can always take a break later

I cracked a tooth at lunchtime, second time this week, which is giving me pause in case I end up with raging toothache at some point over the weekend.

I always forget that much as I love sweet twinkly music I kinda hate gigs

I said twinkly

ambushed by an unexpected dose of the deep blue blues

the sky's beautiful today, beautiful enough to wanna fall off the earth

even when my rut is as clean, cosy and comfortable as it can be, it still looks like a rut

what the world needs now is more books by and for norms who wanna fuck with the language of enlightenment

Satori in a Suit; or How to Increase Your Productivity and Your Karma All At Once. Written in a Light Friendly Humorous Tone So There's Nothing To Be Frightened Of

http://www.abhinayacademy.com/images/mudra.jpg

During this period, it is necessary to reach the target bodyweight and flock uniformity to prepare the birds for the
production period. A special care has also to be given to the development of the digestive tract in order to prepare
for the fast increase in consumption at the beginning of the production period. A well-managed rearing period has
positive effects on:

Egg production (peak of lay and persistency)

Egg quality (egg weight, egg uniformity, shell strength)

Liveability
To achieve those objectives, it is necessary to respect the following basics:

Management (stocking density, drinker and feeder space, water, temperature, beak trimming…)

Lighting programme

Monitoring bodyweight and uniformity

Nutrition

Biosecurity and vaccination

A very beautiful woman had a husband. He was a very skilful fellow. Once he went to the mountains, and disappeared. But at night he returned, bearing a deer on his back. After feasting on the deer, they went to bed. But in the middle of the night, the woman wept and screamed, saying: "This man is not my husband. Though with shame, I will declare the fact as it is. His penis is so big, so big, so big, that it will not get into my vagina; and if it did get in, I should die."

Alarmed by her cries, the neighbours ran out, and came into her house; and one strong fellow took a stick, and beat the husband, saying: "You must be some sort of devil," whereupon the husband turned into a horse, and ran away neighing. Afterwards he was beaten to death.

same

otm

you cant do right for doing wrong

i enjoy the ambiguity in the final sentence as to whether it was big-dicked horse-man who was beaten to death or the strong fellow who called big-dicked horse-man a devil

makes u think

there was a third paragraph I left out cos it was boring, obviously the Ainu had a deep-seated suspicion of horses

horses: always trying to fuck your wife

and in a very real way Jesus is like that

didnt fall far from tree there tbfttm

jesus: always trying to fuck your horse

sometimes my professional life involves a misguided effort to persuade people who don't really want to play this society's game that it's important to play it; whereas what I should be doing is listening and enjoying their company more and reflecting on the important lessons they're teaching me

i enjoy the ambiguity in the final sentence as to whether it was big-dicked horse-man who was beaten to death or the strong fellow who called big-dicked horse-man a devil

makes u think

― PROFESSOR JIGGLY is loose in the Cat Room (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 11 May 2017 8:42 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the naysayer or the neighsayer

Don't call it a cumback

a+ estela

idle things are the devil's playhands

those devil's playhands in full

https://mlblogscookandsonbats.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/37-incredible-hulk-hands.jpg

our Joel used to have a green pair of those iirc

they weren't that amusing tbh

but the memory is blurry and possibly false

it's the hole in the one on the kid's left hand that puzzles me, tho tbh i can see some utility in filling it with peanuts or crisps or whatever so snacks are always within easy reach when i can't bring myself to move on the couch

and in a very real way Jesus is like that

― The Remoans of the May (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 11 May 2017 10:47 (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

didnt fall far from tree there tbfttm

― spud called maris (darraghmac), Thursday, 11 May 2017 10:52 (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

conjunction here reminded me of i think one medieval theory of how apes were so like humans, which was there was a person sitting up a tree while Jesus was doing his Via Dolorosa thing, who jumped out at him as a prank, and Jesus turned him into an ape so he would perpetually live out his knavery, thus creating the race of apes. dick move by jesus, harking back to his infancy gospel of thomas days.

well they kept the bit where he cursed the fig tree in the official books, and tried to pass it off as some weak parable

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/29/67/94/296794ac276eb0706b24b69e142d96ae.jpg

Always swing by the Tring tiles if I'm in the British museum.

http://www.britishmuseum.org/collectionimages/AN00031/AN00031633_001_l.jpg

getting harder to leave the house by the day

i got past this! i pulled some magic trick that didn't make me want to freak out at watching work suck the life out of me. don't know where that's gone, can't remember how i did it. clarity has been restored.

Good vibes homie.

made it out the door for another day of doing half my job - the immediate stuff, the personal interaction stuff, the looking after other people stuff I can do - when that isn't happening and I have to deal with the (metaphorical) piles of admin and record-keeping my brain just rebels, goes too custardy thick to know where to start, can't get motivated - I guess there's a glass half full side to this

I'm not even sad, just two dimensions shifted to the side of the one I'm in - wishing I could be an observing ghost, one of my long-term daydreams, an Oscar Wilde fairy tale phantom short of omniscience but incapable of touching what I'm watching. warmly pleasant dream of evaporation.

thanks co-ghost :)

file under one of the thread subtitles: "the quiet joy of navel-gazing"