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a couple months ago i was watching one of the special features on the mst3k dvds talking about the "gor" books. they didn't get to john norman himself, but somebody did an interview with one of his publicists. it was an interesting watch because mostly he seemed to be talking about the evolution of the marketing of norman's works - in the '90s, the marketing played up the bdsm-y aspects but since then they've moved towards playing up the sword and sorcery thing.
back in my usenet days, goreanism seemed to be at its peak, although i guess second life had a lot of them- i never touched second life. my memory of those times, hanging out in those subcultures, was that goreans got sort of a gruding tolerance from bdsm people. that gor was stupid, but that they weren't exactly in a position to be judging other people on the acceptability of their fetishes.
you know, i'm still not. the scummiest folks in the bdsm scene i knew weren't goreans. i personally, in the process of trying to deal with my depression, have written fiction that is far more offensive and disturbing than anything john norman, whose chief fault is his lack of imagination, has come up with. nobody will ever read any of it while i am still alive. i guess i should just delete everything i've written now in case any of it gets out and gets hung over my head. i'm used to that sort of shit. i've been dealing with it at least high school. do what we say or we'll let you know what you're REALLY like, and god knows twenty, twenty-five years ago liking the sort of things i liked made me a certified Sick Fuck(TM).
― increasingly bonkers (rushomancy), Wednesday, 12 April 2017 23:14 (seven years ago) link
one month passes...
three years pass...
the scummiest folks in the bdsm scene i knew weren't goreans. i personally, in the process of trying to deal with my depression, have written fiction that is far more offensive and disturbing than anything john norman, whose chief fault is his lack of imagination, has come up with. nobody will ever read any of it while i am still alive. i guess i should just delete everything i've written now in case any of it gets out and gets hung over my head. i'm used to that sort of shit. i've been dealing with it at least high school. do what we say or we'll let you know what you're REALLY like, and god knows twenty, twenty-five years ago liking the sort of things i liked made me a certified Sick Fuck(TM).
― increasingly bonkers (rushomancy), Thursday, April 13, 2017 12:14 AM (three years ago)
Any reason you don't want to delete it all?
― Robert Adam Gilmour, Thursday, April 13, 2017 12:07 PM (three years ago)
any reason i don't want to destroy my own past and pretend to be "normal"?
― increasingly bonkers (rushomancy), Thursday, April 13, 2017 2:49 PM (three years ago)
I'm really sorry for saying that. I hope you don't delete the stuff.
I believe that a contributing factor for the worst depths of OCD I was dealing with a few years ago was my impulse to make my desires simpler and neater, like I was trying to whittle myself down and get rid of things with possible negative implications. But now I realize that bettering oneself is not a process of eliminating problematic things, but sometimes embracing them, embracing the complexity and knowing that we'll probably never know what half of this stuff is really about. I feel much better and whole now that I've embraced all my desires again and found new ones.
When I was trying to distance myself from certain things, I was becoming more anxious, pompous, suspicious, accusatory; yes, more conservative. If I've always had a taste for and open-mindedness about weird/extreme content, yet still fallen into this narrow minded fear, how can I expect many other people to understand? Perhaps the normalization of weird fetishes will save us all?
Maybe I haven't learned my lesson, because while extreme gore and death fetishes now seem relatively wholesome (it usually seems so detached from the real world and I'm sure most of these fetishists are nice enough), there is still porn I look upon with a bit of fear and suspicion: lots of racial stuff, anything that seems to be simmering with hatred for perceived inadequacies and weakness or stuff that revels in societal stigma attached to victims. But maybe it's all more complex and a bit more innocent than it seems.
I seen an interesting thing a few months ago, there was a piece of bimbo transformation art and lots of fans of this stuff were complaining in a thread that the artist seemed to believe in the themes too seriously, like they were genuinely appalled by someone taking some of the common tropes into the context of their thinking about the real world.
There's so much role-play in these communities that it's difficult to know what anyone really thinks about these things but occasionally you see an appalled outsider commenting and then some going "hey this is just fun fantasy, we'd never actually do any of this stuff".
I'm a little bit worried because I do all my art under my own name (and wouldn't have it any other way) and sure eventually if I execute a good number of my ideas, that it will cost me something someday. Family often asks to see my work and I don't know how they'd react to all the incest art and some other things I want to do. But I always remember that there's really extreme artists in Indonesia and China who could get into way more serious trouble if they were found out and there was a woman who does some serious taboos and apparently her family just thinks it's funny.
Why does any artist want to scare normal people so much? I'd rather not face any opposition and we could all just write and draw without trouble.
― Robert Adam Gilmour, Monday, 12 October 2020 19:19 (three years ago) link