Scream 4: think I walked out during the bad guy's "I did it because ... !" speech. Was the media the bad guy?
no emma roberts was the bad guy
― the raindrops and drop tops of lived, earned experience (BradNelson), Friday, 17 March 2017 15:59 (seven years ago) link
she throws herself through a glass table, it's raw as hell
― the raindrops and drop tops of lived, earned experience (BradNelson), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:00 (seven years ago) link
Critters 4 (1992) has several covers but this one got me hoping they'd beaten Wayne's World to the Bohemian Rhapsody performance pip.
http://i.yai.bz/Assets/91/282/l_p1005028291.jpg
― nashwan, Friday, 17 March 2017 16:03 (seven years ago) link
funny how easy it is to pick out the lone good film on this list (Bride of Chucky)
― Οὖτις, Friday, 17 March 2017 16:06 (seven years ago) link
"Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip" is surprisingly enjoyable given what it is (a terrible Alvin and the Chipmunks movie)
― Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:06 (seven years ago) link
put that on the poster
― not even my mate ross king sniffed out this hot gossip (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:07 (seven years ago) link
'surprisingly enjoyable' raves ilx poster djp
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lpNS3Jd37k
pesci was robbed of the best supporting actor oscar
― Islamic State of Mind (jim in vancouver), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:10 (seven years ago) link
I haven't seen some of these but it's hard to imagine any being worse than Jaws: the Revenge
― duped and used by my worst Miss U (President Keyes), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:11 (seven years ago) link
Terminator Salvation is one of the worst movies I have ever seen in a movie theater.
― Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:12 (seven years ago) link
The tolerable to actually good:
Bride of ChuckyThe Concorde ... Airport '79The Final DestinationIndiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal SkullLand of the DeadMission: Impossible - Ghost ProtocolA Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream MasterStep Up: Revolution
I suspect Crystal Skull will win this one, and already smh.
― insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:13 (seven years ago) link
xphttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0auwpvAU2YAChristian Bale revealing what a loathsome tool he is on set was entertaining though.
― calzino, Friday, 17 March 2017 16:16 (seven years ago) link
oh and re: Batman & Robin's much-discussed rubber fetish shots: those are kinda among the better shots in the movie tbh. Most of the film alternates between lifeless talky scenes and flailing 'comic' action vomited up by the glow-in-the-dark action playset, which probably does play okay to eight-year-olds. It's at least more consistent in its ''the 60s show, but for the hyperactive 90s kid!'' vision than Batman Forever. Also I would rather watch Arnold hamming up dumb puns than Carrey sweating hard for a laugh that never comes. The internet obsessing over the crotch and butt shots feels idk kinda like teen nerd homophobery but I'll concede that it does certainly mark a huge difference from the Burton treatment so maybe that's why people are lingering on it.
Harry Potter I only left in here because it feels like it'd be glaringly missing from a list of major multi-multi-film series of the last while. I think it's a step down from Cuarón's work on the third, but it's also an accurate adaptation of the fourth book, which is structurally episodic and poorly-edited. So the movies stop trying to tell the whole story and count on the audience to fill in key stuff; I don't think of 'em come close to real badness, which is amazing since they could have been complete shit from day one and still made a fortune. IV is the one with Brendan Gleeson, David Tennant, and first Fiennes-as-Voldemort. The idea of sitting through the "three trials" stuff again is a little daunting but yeah this doesn't REALLY belong alongside Meatballs 4, etc.
― tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:20 (seven years ago) link
I liked these (note: I don't think all of them are "good" per se, but I enjoyed watching them):
Alien: ResurrectionAlvin and the Chipmunks: The Road ChipThe Bourne LegacyHarry Potter and the Goblet of FireIce Age: Continental DriftIndiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull <-- not even Shia Leboeuf swings with monkeys could ruin this for me*Lethal Weapon 4Mission: Impossible - Ghost ProtocolResident Evil: AfterlifeShrek Forever AfterStar Wars Episode I: The Phantom MenaceUnderworld: Awakening
* I was going to reword this but, no
― Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:21 (seven years ago) link
no wait, shit, was thinking of at world's end. never saw on stranger tides. love the tim powers novel, though.
yeah on stranger tides automatically cannot be the worst because at least it represented a big payday for powers.
― chip n dale recuse rangers (Jon not Jon), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:32 (seven years ago) link
leaving out ones where i truly have no idea, or enough sense of the series to know whether i'd be pissed or indifferent if the fourth one suddenly started sucking:
ESSENTIALLY COMPETENT MOVIEMAKING, NO DISGRACE TO THE SERIES:
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - see above
OKAY AFTERNOON VIEWING ON CABLE, JUST DISAPPOINTINGLY INESSENTIAL AND ORDINARY:
Alien: Resurrection - see aboveJurassic World - see aboveRocky IV - tbh i've never watched the whole thing but i think it'd be down
JUST SHORT OF PASSABLE AFTERNOON VIEWING ON CABLE - LAME, DISGRACEFUL, AND SO DISTRACTINGLY LOUD, STUPID OR TONE-DEAF AS TO IMPEDE IDLE ENJOYMENT WITH A HANGOVER:
Batman & Robin - see aboveIndiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - just painfully ordinary and without personality, weight or momentum (except the p. good early Indy/Shia scenes where Spielberg clearly came in and took over for a while), but easier to forget than Star Wars and doesn't ruin Indy in the same way.
TRULY DIRE SLOGS:
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace - see aboveStar Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace - see nearly 3,000 posts in the crimes of george lucas thread
NO IDEA, BUT COULD IMAGINE THEM BEING HALF DECENT?
Barbershop: The Next Cut - no ideaThe Bourne Legacy - zzz but probably at least competently made?Bride of Chucky - sureConquest of the Planet of the Apes - always been weirdly curious about the very oddball-sounding premises of the later PotA movies.Fast & Furious - i can't really tell the films in this series apart but people i respect say they actually start getting better as it goes on. dunno if it's 4 or 5 where that's supposed to happen though.Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - everyone says this is greatA Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master - my sense is the sequels in this series are generally kinda consistent, it's just basically an anthology of weird dream horror sequences strung together by freddy right?The Next Karate Kid - female karate kid is a nice idea and prob. inspired some kids idkRambo - actually probably awfulSpy Kids: All The Time In The World - loved the first and feel there are too few kids movies of this kindThe Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - actually probably awful
HAVEN'T SEEN BUT MUST ASSUME THEY ARE LIKELY MORE PAINFUL TO WATCH THAN PHANTOM MENACE:
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip - can you imagine watching four movies of this shitDeath Wish 4: The Crackdown - Cannon Group ruleErnest Scared Stupid - tho tbh I doubt it is much different from the previous couple. "Camp" is the only classic.The Final Destination - should have called it "final final destination"Hellraiser: Bloodline, Highlander: Endgame - should have been combined into one movieIce Age: Continental Drift - these are so fucking UGLYJaws: the Revenge - go-to symbol of old-school sequelitisLethal Weapon 4 - never watched any, but seems like the first is not my style and they all get worse. isn't this the one with the racism?Live Free or Die Hard - i am 100% the target market of this film and i took one look at the trailer and went "nnnnope."Meatballs 4 - first had a mild charm when not creepy/rapey, but why watch any sans Murray? here, corey feldman saves the camp in a water-skiing championship.Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - already wrecked by the second two dumb 'trilogy' pieces. imagining an even more broken ratio of depp's mugging to everything else... yikes.Police Academy 4: Citizens On Patrol - i guess i've heard it's better than 5-7?Saw IV - horrible series, suspect this is the least pleasant viewing experience of anything hereScary Movie 4 - somehow worries me more than Scream 4Shrek Forever After - hate this unfunny genre-wrecking shit, kids deserve better and i'm offended on their behalfTerminator Salvation - third one already nailed the 'afternoon cable whatever' category, this just looked bleak and tiringTransformers: Age of Extinction - what can you even say?Vegas Vacation - even the first one, fourteen years earlier, was more cringey than funny for most of the time.
― tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:46 (seven years ago) link
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip - can you imagine watching four movies of this shit
... what has happened to me and my life
― Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:50 (seven years ago) link
the essential gayness of batman & robin rescues it for me in a way that i think the essential gayness of nightmare on elm street 2 rescues that movie for others
― the raindrops and drop tops of lived, earned experience (BradNelson), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:53 (seven years ago) link
iirc the final destination is the worst final destination sequel but i get them all mixed up in my head
― the raindrops and drop tops of lived, earned experience (BradNelson), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:55 (seven years ago) link
final destination 5 however i remember in its full integrity and it's fucking awesome
― the raindrops and drop tops of lived, earned experience (BradNelson), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:56 (seven years ago) link
re: Batman & Robin's much-discussed rubber fetish shots
I was at the exact age to overvalue those latex butt and cup shots, and I *still* fell asleep during the movie, one of the only times that's happened to me in a theater.
― insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:56 (seven years ago) link
tbh i can't really hold anything against a film that has led to something as reliably cheering as youtube supercuts of arnold's lines and of course Lines uttered by Arnold Scwarzenegger (as Mr Freeze) in "Batman & Robin"
― tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Friday, 17 March 2017 16:59 (seven years ago) link
What film series holds the record for the most entries following a sequel which purports to be the "final" one? Probably Friday the 13th, right?
― jmm, Friday, 17 March 2017 17:01 (seven years ago) link
Lethal weapon, Bourne and MI all good rest trash
― brat_stuntin (darraghmac), Friday, 17 March 2017 17:05 (seven years ago) link
Chucky is the aberrant movie series that strangely hits its stride by the fourth entry (I think the first three are all different shades of mediocre), mostly by fully embracing the fundamental absurdity of the concept. The fifth is completely bugshit and my favorite by a country mile, and the sixth is a pretty decent straight horror film (and probably the first in the series that actually tries for scares). I never would've expected to find myself saying as much, but I'm looking forward to the upcoming seventh installment of the Child's Play series.
― Milkwalker's World (Old Lunch), Friday, 17 March 2017 17:06 (seven years ago) link
Yeah, Chucky is by far the most transformative (for the better) series refresh on this entire list.
― insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Friday, 17 March 2017 17:08 (seven years ago) link
6 was good? huh
― Οὖτις, Friday, 17 March 2017 17:09 (seven years ago) link
Surprisingly. I don't really understand why it was released direct-to-video, but I think they're planning to go theatrical again with the next one.
― Milkwalker's World (Old Lunch), Friday, 17 March 2017 17:11 (seven years ago) link
I'll check it out - I liked 4 and 5, and yeah the latter is v enjoyable in its over-the-topness
― Οὖτις, Friday, 17 March 2017 17:12 (seven years ago) link
6 plays it pretty straight and almost feels like a reboot until the end ties it back in to the absurdity of the previous two.
― Milkwalker's World (Old Lunch), Friday, 17 March 2017 17:13 (seven years ago) link
(Just realized that Citizen Toxie is missing from this list.)
― Milkwalker's World (Old Lunch), Friday, 17 March 2017 17:14 (seven years ago) link
Ghost Protocol is not just great but potentially (based on how great Rogue Nation is) films 4-6 of the MI trilogy could all be better than 1-3. i like the first MI, but i think it's a shade below 4&5. (MI2 is not terrible but not good, MI3 is fine but basically an extended episode of Alias, JJ Abrams isn't that good tbh.)
― nomar, Friday, 17 March 2017 17:24 (seven years ago) link
Where will Avatar 4 fall?
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 17 March 2017 17:28 (seven years ago) link
Flat on its dumb face, if there's any justice in the world.
― Milkwalker's World (Old Lunch), Friday, 17 March 2017 17:30 (seven years ago) link
You mean "3-D on its dumb face."
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 17 March 2017 17:31 (seven years ago) link
The Concorde... Airport '79 is my favourite title out of these
― samovars are trying to steep (wins), Friday, 17 March 2017 17:34 (seven years ago) link
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor has everything in the title plus a Yeti. It exceeded my low expectations.
― Einstein, Kazanga, Sitar (abanana), Saturday, 18 March 2017 02:00 (seven years ago) link
I voted for jurassic world because of the scene where the nanny is punishment killed for talking on a cellphone, and the punishment is to be picked up by pterodactyl, dropped, picked up, dropped, etc, then swallowed along with pterodactyl by mosasaurus. Wrong sort of thing to happen in the sort of movie this is supposed to be.
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Saturday, 18 March 2017 02:25 (seven years ago) link
According to the director, it was supposed to be a surprise to extreme-kill a character who didn't deserve it. it didn't work, especially with bryce howard's regressive character arc being in there too.
― Einstein, Kazanga, Sitar (abanana), Saturday, 18 March 2017 02:45 (seven years ago) link
Exorcist: The Beginning, Superman IV, and TErminator: Salvation all in the running for me
― waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 March 2017 03:32 (seven years ago) link
Exorcist: The Beginning quite possibly one of the dumbest things I've had the misfortune to sit through. Schrader's cut of the film, Dominion wasn't exactly high quality horror but it was 30 times better than Harlin's.
― waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 March 2017 03:35 (seven years ago) link
Terminator Salvation and Jurassic World were horrific in absolute terms.
the interesting thing about this is optics. the general viewing public would agree with you on Terminator and consider you blasphemous on Jurassic World, yet fundamentally, both were about equally stupid.
― waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 March 2017 03:37 (seven years ago) link
(my friends all loved JW and for the life of me I can't figure out why)
lol forgot about Scream 4, what a fuckin' turd
― waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 March 2017 03:40 (seven years ago) link
I agree. A truly sour moment in a movie that is otherwise just harmless junk.
― some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Saturday, 18 March 2017 03:41 (seven years ago) link
Agreed, dactyl scene was grossss and also SO WEIRD b/c the movie really builds up this idea of o no the park is a park and all the tourists are in danger!!! And this is the one scene where that actually matters and THIS is how they decide to punctuate it??
― tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Saturday, 18 March 2017 05:19 (seven years ago) link
Voted Indy but Alvin 4 should get an award of some kind because I spent a minute looking at the title "the Road Chip" before I understood what it meant. Not a very clear pun. Alternatively, maybe I deserve an award for stupidity
― Vinnie, Saturday, 18 March 2017 05:33 (seven years ago) link
there's also the squeakuel which is called the squeakuel because of squeaks
― The sandwiches looked quite dank. (contenderizer), Saturday, 18 March 2017 06:41 (seven years ago) link
[](my friends all loved JW and for the life of me I can't figure out why)
― waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Friday, March 17, 2017 10:37 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink[]
I wouldn't say I loved or even particularly liked it but I found the experience fleetingly enjoyable, similar to the old and shitty horror/sci-fi movies I watch all the time.
Totally agree about the needlessly torturous death of the assistant, though. Took me right out of the thing.
― Milkwalker's World (Old Lunch), Saturday, 18 March 2017 13:33 (seven years ago) link