Things you were shockingly old when you learned

but the shampoo is to scrub things (hair, scalp) and the conditioner is to moisturize hair? I am mystified by this "conditioner first" thing

i learned that in Calamity Jane Howard Keel sings "my love is higher than a hawk "

when my whole life I thought he sang

"my love is higher than a hog"

My fiancee explained to me what conditioner does in the past year. I didn't know about Miss Piggy or Michael Flatley either btw.

I don't wish to diss any particular person's hygiene regime or beauty-product choices. If it works for you and it isn't harming anyone else, rock on with you bad selves.

That said, an awful lot of products out there seem to have been introduced to reduce the harmful effects of other products.

There's a different bunch of products that exist to counteract and/or replace the things your body would ordinarily do on its own. There's still another bunch of products that exist to counteract the effects of the products that counteract the things your body used to do on its own. (Things, by the way, that human bodies were doing for many thousands of years before the products were invented.)

You can use conditioner to replace beneficial stuff that shampoo washed away (or you can shampoo slightly less often and therefore need less regenerative conditioner).

You can buy products that remove callus from your feet, which leaves your feet more vulnerable to the repetitive abrasion that leads to callus, which makes you want to buy a product to remove callus from your feet. (Or you could let protective callus develop protectively where your shoes tend to rub.) You can put Vaseline in your nose for dryness... or you could let your nose regulate its own lubrication level, which may make you want to buy less Vaseline.

I am not saying I'm eager to return to caveman days. But it does seem like at least _some_ of this stuff is a self-perpetuating profit machine for corporations that want you to keep buying their various goops and gels and unguents.

Women look a lot like men

Muller rice isn't disgusting, it's pretty good

I just realised that 'Hip Hop Hooray' by Naughty By Nature is a pun on "hip hip, hooray"

lol

that reminds me (not making fun, just v similar) of my friend who one night exclaimed (in an mIRC channel):

"wait, Man in the Mirror, MJ is singing about HIMSELF?"

That I never learn.

also just learned that Richard Cheese's pseudonym = "dickcheese"

I just realized thirty seconds ago that this world is not the world but is in fact hell.

^underrated Propagandhi song

that what Meat Loaf wouldn't do for love is perfectly explained in the lyrics of the preceding verses

That Max Mosley is Oswald Mosley's son

Niels - what won't he do?

mustache rides

ok this is a bit tmi so skip ahead

was about 19 or 20 and had got back to a girl's place and i told her "i don't have a condom" she said "oh that's fine i have an implant" - this is how i found out what an iud was.

thanks catholic school

there are also contraceptive implants -- norplant i think it was called?

they are not the same as IUDs

yeah, never heard of an IUD referred to as an "implant" but that could be a by-country thing

Yeah Norplant, Depo-Provera, and IUDs are all totally different things. (And condoms are still useful even when one of them is present, unless the only thing you are interested in is pregnancy. FWIW I still used them even after having a vasectomy.)

ha ok: things you were shockingly old when you learned - you can't generically add implants into the same category as IUDs because of what the IU in IUD stands for.

i was basically unaware that there was any device that could be implanted in any part of a woman that could be used as a contraceptive

what did you think the IU stood for? or alternatively, that's not where you put contraceptive implants!

if i had thought about it i might have came to the right conclusion.

I think I knew what IU stood for exclusively due to the Golden Girls.

U did all 3?

Err 4

I get IUDs and IEDs mixed up.

masturbation, what it is, how everyone does it. i think it was like 7th grade or something before i learned.

they charge for obituaries and it is a lot more than you'd think

i knew they charged - some are much longer and more detailed than others, have pictures, etc. this always struck me as being connected to how much they cost - have no idea how much.

Obituary Notice - 3 Days $303.44
- 3 days in both The Vancouver Sun and The Province.
- Base cost includes 5 lines of text & Online at Remembering.ca for 1 year
- $61.80 for each additional line of text. Add a Colour photo for $326.

I've read some pricy obits it seems

a color photo in an obituary seems like the rough equivalent to an open-cask funeral

human resources does not mean resources for humans

(my first run-ins were all related to the benefits and insurance part of companies, so the naming based on staffing went over my head)

Hope all my friends open their casks at my funeral.

Both of them.

masturbation, what it is, how everyone does it. i think it was like 7th grade or something before i learned.
― Karl Malone, Thursday, February 23, 2017 7:05 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Man there i was with a Cindy Crawford GIF and quivering nether regions, freaked the fuck out that my dick was trying to make a cocoon, and a week later in health class they were describing the ole "Shebop" and that it was normal and meant we were ready to father a child. And i turned to my friends (both of em) and said OH SHIT I JUST DID THAT LAST WEEK! I'M READY TO FATHER A CHILD! I'M READY TO FATHER A-

and the tubby one punched me in the stomach and i fell to my knees

I had the general idea of how things worked but don't think I really did that act until 9th grade, yeeesh

Nowadays kids learn it from Wikihow pages

tbf I was a late bloomer (not to be confused with ilxor of that name)

when they said "B.G." on Snoop and Dre albums for years I thought they meant "Bee Gee", ie, someone out of the 70s, out of touch. realized years later it meant "baby gangsta".

just learned that Richard Cheese's pseudonym = "dickcheese"

ha this one only occurred to me a few weeks back as well, and we've been rocking his albums heaps lately.

That a hymen isn't like a thin bit of plastic kitchen wrap skin that goes over the vagina and gets punctured after sex.

If I had given this more than a second thought this would have clearly made no sense.

I don't propose to look up what age school grades indicate solely to find out when ilxors started masturbating

Will u ppl not just use age to indicate age ffs

think it wasnt until i was 17 or so that i realised that people had to pay milkmen? i didnt have some big alternative comedy theory about a publicly funded dairy welfare state or whatever it was just something that i had somehow never once encountered or thought about for a second

mightve been early 20s even idk

Like what else would be be doing at six am everyday, sure isn't he a milkman