VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

I once lost my keys with those jacket pockets designed with small holes in them. Why on earth are they made like that? They look like they're made to hold a handgun but have the tip of the gun dangling out your jacket.

I leave my cuff links behind in the gym change room approximately once a month - most recently last night. I've tried so hard to make a habit out of putting them in the coin purse of my wallet but somehow I keep forgetting to do so every once in a while. Thankfully they always turn up as someone hands them in but I'm sure my luck will run out soon

Only realised after copying jeans jackets that the construction leaves a hole at the side of the bottom of the inside pocket. So loose small objects can slide out.

so I basically threw my keys in the gutter and strode happily away.
I did this a while back on a trip to Sydney for work. bought train ticket from airport to Central, then strode off stuffing it into what I thought was an outside bag pocket but was just a strap, so it fell in the ground. which I didn't realize til I got to the exit and had no ticket.

astonishingly the gate lady just waved me through. in Melbourne I'dve been hog tied and fined.

Getting out of hand at my job. At least once or twice a day I can't find a worksheet or some student work I've put down somewhere, followed by five minutes of me wandering around the room like in a trance looking for it. Luckily I've got 3/4 this year--anything older and they'd be banding together and contacting outside agencies for help.

I need backup backup glasses.

How many pairs can you hold pushed up on your forehead or hanging on a chain around your neck?

Three. Don't ask me how I know this.

A few weeks back I had a complete brainfart, and called a skull a "skeleton head". I wasnt even trying to be funny.

No one in my household will let me live it down, now :|

imo that is a fine nomenclature

Thanking u, I agree!

I also behind* skeleton head

I've started looking for my glasses only to wonder why I'm seeing my nightstand so clearly

This sounds familiar also.

*well, technically inside

Just had a mini meltdown trying to get my head around the spelling of the word "answer"

Yeah, 'leisure' had the same effect on me earlier in the week - partly because my fingers misspelt it and my brain couldn't figure out which bits to rearrange.

Worst mental space to inhabit, that zone where you've broken past the line of recognising the shape of the word and are into the quantum zone of atomic letters

I've been forgetting names all week - colleagues, students, famous people. if this is early Alzheimer's then cheers guys, it's been a blast.

Well it hasn't. But we'll be kind and tell you that it was.

you sound like you've had post-holiday blues all week

More to do with being back in the specific location as 77 reffed tbh but it's lifting

yeah soz I read that afterwards

I poured a tin of soup into a microwavable plastic jug, then set the microwave running for one minute. I came back when the buzzer went off, only to find that the jug of soup was still on the counter and the microwave was empty.

at least you didnt put the metal item in the mickiowake!

Last week i forgot a dentist appointment, lost my work locker key and then deleted a day and a half's work by mistake all in the space of two days.

oh no :(

Anybody ever get that thing where you very nearly say something ridiculous by accident and wished you hadn't corrected yourself at the last second before it comes out your mouth?

I asked my dad if it was raining outside but nearly said "is it sad out there?"

that's not ridiculous; that's awesome. shoulda gone for it!

Yeah but it's annoying when people pretend to say something by accident.

at least you didnt put the metal item in the mickiowake!

― Violet Jax (Violet Jynx), Thursday, 1 June 2017 19:07 (one hour ago)

This happened with the microwave at work - although it wasn't me as I never use that one. Someone left a metal spoon in with whatever they were heating up, and it burnt a small hole in the metal mesh in the door. And then no-one noticed the hole for, like, a month.

let's face it we'd all sort of like to try it

I actually saw big sparks once while heating a yam! what the hell!

I covered a bowl with a glass & metal saucepan lid and told mr k to put it in the microwave :/

amazingly he realised before doing so

It's actually kind of amazing how much metal you can put in the science oven without causing an explosion

i had a travel mug that had like a foil insert around the outside under clear plastic

completely spaced & put it in the microwave to warm up some coffee, then i heard a weird noise & saw sparks & i was like O FUCK

had weird veiny spiderweb pattern all over it & the shiny foil was dull but no one died yay

when I worked in tech support so many techs put CD-Rs in the microwave to watch them spark up that management took it out of the break area. all it really did was scorch the glass tray in the bottom of the microwave. oh and smell bad.

I only got told about not putting metal in microwaves last year. Really wish there were big notices on microwaves.

idk, as someone who grew up with the advent of home microwaves, "no metal in microwave" feels less like something i learned & more like i was somehow born knowing it

/at least you didnt put the metal item in the mickiowake!

― Violet Jax (Violet Jynx), Thursday, 1 June 2017 19:07 (one hour ago)/

This happened with the microwave at work - although it wasn't me as I never use that one. Someone left a metal spoon in with whatever they were heating up, and it burnt a small hole in the metal mesh in the door. And then no-one noticed the hole for, like, a month.

I did this at work! 2 minutes. No sparks, no damage. I was shaking when I opened and realized..

wow i completely forgot about this thread

I locked myself out of my car today...TWICE

"no metal in microwave" feels less like something i learned & more like i was somehow born knowing it

Early 80s sitcoms always seemed to have a joke where someone gets one of them fancy microwaves and it explodes because they try and heat a can of beans in it.

Jennifer Lawrence's character in American Hustle does that iirc!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dA5HiTXpY0s

My old boss tried to destroy data on a cd-r in the microwave - I don't know why not just snap or step on it?

If you put a sponge in it wil BOBBLE UP!

OH CANADA!!
http://www.inspection.gc.ca/food/information-for-consumers/fact-sheets-and-infographics/specific-products-and-risks/fruits-and-vegetables/sparks-when-cooking/eng/1332278105073/1332278331477

Not sure where else to put this, but I was checking out at the grocery store a bit ago and the female cashier hands me my receipt and says, "Happy Father's Day!"

So what, in all my glorious Sunday morning astuteness, did I reply with?

"You too!"

I hate myself.

I love that story every time it happens

To other people

<3

Wife putting bags on the kitchen counter last night after returning from the grocery store was very upset when she realized she left the rotisserie chicken at the self-checkout register. I offer to go back for it, and head to the help stand by the self-checkout and ask if they're holding a rotisserie chicken that was left behind. Attendant gives me a big smile and hands me the bagged chicken. When I get home my wife opens the bag and says "That's not my chicken."

Just got a text from my wife with a picture of her chicken which she found this morning in the car under the driver's seat.

Lol

I frequently lose things and empty my backpack to make sure the item isn't hiding in a secret pocket or something. If I don't find it, that's fine though, because 50% of all disappeared items somehow show up in my bag again 24 hours later. Conclusion: I have a magic bag.

xp
Score!

I wonder that if the buyer of the second chicken returned to the store for it, the manager would think there's some kind of scam going on - guy watches checkout for misplaced chicken, goes to the manager a few minutes later to "reclaim" it.

patched a pair of jeans this morning and discarded a pair that were too far gone to fix.

and then, three hours later, changed into the second pair in order to go to the shops.