Descriptions of Steve Bannon

face like a depressed eggcup

(not mine)

a bowlful of marmalade that a ferret rolled around in

i put all three shaved garfields on facebook. it's only a matter of time now. would be great if he was constantly referred to as shaved garfield. "Mr. Spicer, the other day Shaved Garfield threatened..."

a jowelled wig

some of you have to know people in the Post or NYT that can make this take off

a tin of ham on legs

gas giant

turkey apple

a deviled egg that thinks it's people

the animated snot blob from the mucinex commercials

okay, one of the shaved garfields i put up on twitter has 14 retweets already and i haven't been on twitter since september. we are worldwide. someone should start a #shavedgarfield facebook group. the world's most racist cat! what's he up to today?! i would do it but i get full on pasta for real and then i'm sleepy.

Scott/everyone, the @shavedgarfield handle is free.

so there's an extreme close-up of bannon's horrible face on the cover of time magazine this week

any hanging boogers

its insane how bad they made him look

http://i.imgur.com/nk7oU3X.jpg

hahahaha

OMG, it's like they mashed a blueberry pie in his face before taking the shot.

I clearly should've trademarked Shaved Garfield before posting it. If y'all just donate a portion of your merchandising profits to the White Supremacist Ridicule Foundation, we're cool.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/opinion/cartoon/2017-02/06/content_28109848.htm

an excised cyst in a wet ashtray

your drunk uncle's drunk uncle

A human cloth diaper used to filter coffee and booze.

A laundry sack stuffed with soiled tube socks.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/df/69/e3/df69e374a97182482c79e0822a5a51da.jpg

Holy shit, that's just the dude I've been thinking about, but it was always on the cusp of my brain! I was thinking, was it a comic book villain, or the fat dude from Dune, or ... but that Fury Road dude is OTM. Well, after Bannon's nose falls off, at least.

steve bannon, who is catholic

What's the deal with his nose? Rosacea? Apparently it's not caused by alcoholism, but alcohol is a trigger for flare-ups. But you would think he would try to cover it up a bit more?

Who is that, Tycho Brahe?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CdwR_mzUkAApM9N.jpg

Colonel Kurtz, dipped in acid

NEW YORK (AP) — On the heels of actress Melissa McCarthy's caustic portrayal of White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer on "Saturday Night Live," comedienne Rosie O'Donnell says she's available to play President Donald Trump's controversial adviser Steve Bannon.

On her Twitter feed Monday night, O'Donnell responded to suggestions that she play Bannon by saying "available — if called I will serve."

they should just have women playing the entire administration

(not that I would watch it because fuck SNL)

also contains a great sub-newt bit of fawning:

He is a voracious reader who devours works of history and political theory “in like an hour,” said a former associate whom Bannon urged to read Sun Tzu’s The Art of War. “He’s like the Rain Man of nationalism.”

― goole, Tuesday, February 7, 2017 1:58 PM (fourteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

omg

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, February 7, 2017 1:59 PM (thirteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the Rain Man of nationalism

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, February 7, 2017 1:59 PM (thirteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

done

― the Rain Man of nationalism. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, February 7, 2017 1:59 PM (twelve minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he's like the lawnmower man of acute cirrhosis

― for sale: steve bannon waifu pillow (heavily soiled) (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, February 7, 2017 3:27 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

He's like the Michelin Man of falling asleep in your own vomit.

Steve Bannon drives his tank slow on the driveway

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_TmbKXnInuuQ/S1urJ_UQcuI/AAAAAAAACs4/GdmqlQJUFf0/s800/live-evil-back-small.jpg

The worn-out elastic waistband of a pair of oversized skidmark-stained whitey-tighties.

https://twitter.com/TheNardvark/status/829170610957905921

bannon is a sentient sweat pimple that just ate a fuckin mcgriddle

a fun one from a comedian friend of mine from college:

"Steve Bannon always looks like he just finished a hot dog eating contest"

― voodoo chili, Tuesday, January 31, 2017 4:19 PM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://medium.com/the-shocker/steve-bannon-week-steve-bannon-eats-a-hot-dog-7c365d5a5d07#.m5yy5n4yb

Bannon looks like the smug dude that won so many hot dog eating competitions that they eventually stopped him from competing and now he just comes back as an honorary judge.

xp feels dangerously close to slash territory

that is the blog i help steward. and i mean yeah we spent a week writing horrific fictions on ways bannon might die or occult rites in which he's engaging

just seemed pertinent re: hot dog joke lol

If Baloo fucked a nazi sea otter

worst superego

AJ from The Sopranos after a lifetime of drinking butter and methylated spirit cocktails

a sentient pile of ambergris that's barely managing to hold its humanoid shape together