don't panic, but "SWINE FLU COULD SPREAD GLOBALLY"

FRIGHTENED Big Brother babes Chanelle Hayes and Chantelle Houghton faced urgent medical tests last night amid fears they may have caught deadly swine flu.

The telly beauties were being checked out by private medics after a luxury holiday in Mexico where the killer virus broke out.

Premier League football stars Carlos Vela of Arsenal and Matthew Bates of Middlesbrough also found themselves under threat as the virus brought major health crackdowns and the scrapping of tourist trips to Mexico.

Midfielder Matthew, 22, is dating Chanelle – and if she is infected it is likely he too will have caught the virus.

If her test results come back positive Middlesbrough’s medical team will have to have the entire squad checked out.

ew

This is just a load of old bollocks, right?

I mean, this whole swine flu panic pandemic problem bollocks.

No one actually has it.

Reuters says US is reporting its first swine flu death.

My timing is impeccable as ever.

yup, abc news reporting it
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/SwineFlu/story?id=7456439&page=1

reading the bbc 'your experiences' from mexican residents is pretty hair raising.

I had pork tacos for lunch yesterday. Coincidence, really, but I kind of chuckled to myself. But the woman behind the counter thought I was coughing, so she took out her shotgun and blew my head off, just to be safe.

Seriously, though, with two small kids (and a wife currently traveling to New York), I'm a little bit nervous, but just a little. I mean, SARS didn't freak me out at all, but that was before I had kids.

Mr Brown says there are three further confirmed cases of swine flu in the UK - in Torbay, London and Birmingham - all had been to Mexico and all are responding to treatment. One is a 12-year-old girl he says. A school is being closed as a precaution.

(Rueful) lols at panicky Mexican official's suggestion illness may not have originated there.

Given it came from an american pig farm in mexico, it may not have. However I'm not sure this is important.

My timing is impeccable as ever.

― Sickamous Mouthall (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, April 29, 2009 10:46 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

You're not the only one.

Swine flu? A panic stoked in order to posture and spend.

lad in my office just got sent home for showing fluey symptoms, and the fact he just got back from mexico holiday last week.

ben goldacre describing that jenkins column as "the most stupid swine flu piece ever" in a graun-on-graun incident.

xpost, hah

Ben Goldacre has been kicking off about that Jenkins piece via Twitter. His point -- I paraphrase, but that's only because it's so far from rocket-science as to be a truism -- is simple: just because health scares might be overblown all the time, that doesn't mean this isn't a valid cause for concern. (Which, I know, is what sensible voices on this thread, eg gbx, Abbott and Stet, have already said many times, but it looks like it's a point that bears repeating, repeatedly.)

I like Goldacre and he is right to say that we should take health scares serious, even if previous ones have fizzled out. But surely Jenkins has a point as well? Chiefly is it really necessary for this story to be as endlessly reported as it has been? Isn't there a very real danger that if the media continue to hysterically cover health scares that subsequently come to nothing, then the public is going to take such health scares less and less seriously in the future?

This may or may not turn into a full blown pandemic, whether now or six months from now. But every hysterical, complacent headline and "rolling live blog" on the subject, only increases panic in the short term and scepticism in the long term.

we're famous (thrilling mom-and-kids-on-the-street interview)

Let's see if embedding works. Check out the interview with Rufus.

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<object thttp://www.wwlp.com/

go here and click "flu pandemic has parents on alert" to see Rufus, Cyrus, my sister Lucia and me.

http://www.wwlp.com/dpp/news/wwlp_local_swineflupandemichasparentsonalert_200904290619

third time a charm?

as a hypochondriac who was already stewing with anger every time he had to hear somebody cough on an airplane or in the checkout line, I welcome many of you to my world

awww young rufus

Go, Rufus! And indeed Maria. "Six-year-old speaks more sense than many other commentators": absolutely.

Bloody hell, now 32 suspected (not confirmed) cases in Scotland.

rip the world

Bloody hell, now 32 suspected (not confirmed) cases in Scotland

OK: a mutual friend of ours (this is true) sits next to a dude who's just back from Mexico. So if he and she start sniffling and coughing, that -- by definition -- is a suspected case ... and, you know, in open-plan, air-conditioned offices, the risk of infection covers a lot more than two folk.

I'd have thought 32 is staggeringly low, to be honest.

Actually, er, that by definition would be two suspected cases. Christ, Mr Logic.

Yay the Sewards on TV!

JERUSALEM (AP) — The outbreak of swine flu should be renamed "Mexican" influenza in deference to Muslim and Jewish sensitivities over pork, said an Israeli health official Monday.

Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman said the reference to pigs is offensive to both religions and "we should call this Mexican flu and not swine flu," he told a news conference at a hospital in central Israel.

Both Judaism and Islam consider pigs unclean and forbid the eating of pork products.

So the problem is ...

should I lol?

Oh that wacky Ryanair guy:

The outspoken head of the Irish budget airline Ryanair has dismissed apocalyptic warnings of a global swine flu pandemic, saying that the virus was only a risk to Asians and Mexicans “living in slums”.

Michael O’Leary, who pioneered the 1p fares which transformed European aviation, told a press conference that he did not think the virus that is thought to have killed around 150 people in Mexico would wipe out his firm's business this summer despite UN warnings of a pandemic.

“Are we going to die from swine flu? No. Are we in danger of SARS? No. Foot and mouth disease? No. Will it affect people flying short-haul flights around Europe this summer? Thankfully, no," Mr O'Leary said.

He added: “It is a tragedy only for people living ... in slums in Asia or Mexico. But will the honeymoon couple from Edinburgh die? No. A couple of Strepsils will do the job."

Conditions on Ryanair flights are marginally worse than in Mexican slums in my experience.

and you don't have to pay a pound to piss in a Mexican slum

totally stoked to be flying to south Texas tomorrow

onimo otm btw, I could buy a case of Pringles in any slum for what Ryanair charges me for a packet

this just in, "Strepsils will do the job" - OMG

http://imgur.com/27K39.jpg

Strepsils completely sold out in our local chemist on this news.

the rock dwayne johnson in transit to mexico with convoy of strepsils as we speak- to pick up sean william scott, possibly sean penn, on the way.

yeah NEED to buy Strepsils stocks NOW!

as a hypochondriac who was already stewing with anger every time he had to hear somebody cough on an airplane or in the checkout line, I welcome many of you to my world

― Just one thing I was thinking about as I was getting on the copter (J0hn D.), Wednesday, April 29, 2009 12:52 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

my wife had a checkup at her doctor and she told her that the last few days they've had a run on their hypocondriacs, said it's been a blast

Goldacre on Jenkins and his ilk http://www.badscience.net/2009/04/parmageddon/

http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2009/04/SWINE%20FLU%20GETS%20VIRAL.jpg

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww my apocalypse-fearing dad just sent me a nice email:

I hope all is going well. We're looking forward to seeing you next week. I know the swine flu is nearing your area, especially since you are so close to the border of Mexico. I have some tamiflu which is supposed to fight that strain of flu. I have two doses one for you and one for John. I also have another drug that increases its potency. We will bring it down when we come for the wedding next week. In the mean time, be very careful. Do not shake hands and try to keep away from contact with others. If you can buy some yourself, please do and I will reimburse you for it. I also have some of the good masks I will bring you. Better to err on the side of caution I think a wise man once said.

This is AMZING bcz 1: he is greedy about stuff he hoards (see '10 virgins' parable for reasons) and 2: he didn't say it was caused BY area Mexicans. Good job, dad!

aw

he is greedy about stuff he hoards (see '10 virgins' parable for reasons)

"But dad, you said I could have two!"

I am feeling sick today with a killer sore throat, and while I'm 99% certain that it's not the swine flu the hypochondriac in me is making a major deal out of the 1%.

my wife puked a few times last night; am considering calling cnn and reporting it as a case of swine flu for the lols, media attention, reality tv show, etc.

yeah i had achey lymph nodes this morning--pretty lol

level 5 now