don't panic, but "SWINE FLU COULD SPREAD GLOBALLY"

can i get a super-secret task force invite?

I think there's something on the Georgia Guidestones about swine flu, but only on the section written in sanskrit

*rimshot*

Ooohhh, those conspiracy theories are chilling. I think i'll hit costco on the way home to prepare for the apocalypse.

Wait, Bill, I thought you were dying of swine flu? Should you be potentially infecting all those innocent Costco shoppers?

i thought bill was dead already--he must be zombie bill

we must stop him before he reaches Sabbath

Hoos posted after someone reported he was dead. Not only does it seem like a lot of ilxors have swine flu, but we have at least two swine flu zombies then.

RIP Bill, re-rest in peace.

I heard the swine flu is like toxo... makes you do irrational things in order to infect more people (like act like its no big deal).
Sorry your brain is dying, Bill.

little known medical fact, bros, patient zero (ie hoos the swinedriver) always lives on 4ever

Q: can we get swine flu from posting on the same message board as patient zero?

A: u can if pt zero had his webcam on at the time of posting and if yrs is on at the time of reading

I hope Peter Gabriel does a remake of 'Games without Frontiers' feat. K8 Bush called 'Porcs sans Frontieres' and the funds go to Medicins sans Frontiers so long as it is spend on the porcs...flu.

Also did anyone else think K8 was singing 'she's..so FUCK-ing gay"?

i thought bill was dead already

maybe you were thinking of I DIED

I don't have cable, so someone please tell me: is the world overrun by brain-eating zombies, or is it not that bad yet? Someone please tell me when we hit threat level Zed, so that I can stock up on ammo and peanut butter.

Overrun.

Also did anyone else think K8 was singing 'she's..so FUCK-ing gay"?

i thought this about the original version!

"Right now, it's too early for any of us to become a Swine Flu Shut-In, but you may want to have your hand sanitizer constantly with you for the next few weeks."

http://theinternetisterrible.com/wp-content/things/swine_flu.jpg

little known medical fact, bros, patient zero (ie hoos the swinedriver) always lives on 4ever

― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Tuesday, April 28, 2009 9:51 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

^^ true btw

Spent the day in Regensburg, Bavaria yesterday - now I hear flu's been discovered right there - oh well, RIP me

FRIGHTENED Big Brother babes Chanelle Hayes and Chantelle Houghton faced urgent medical tests last night amid fears they may have caught deadly swine flu.

The telly beauties were being checked out by private medics after a luxury holiday in Mexico where the killer virus broke out.

Premier League football stars Carlos Vela of Arsenal and Matthew Bates of Middlesbrough also found themselves under threat as the virus brought major health crackdowns and the scrapping of tourist trips to Mexico.

Midfielder Matthew, 22, is dating Chanelle – and if she is infected it is likely he too will have caught the virus.

If her test results come back positive Middlesbrough’s medical team will have to have the entire squad checked out.

ew

This is just a load of old bollocks, right?

I mean, this whole swine flu panic pandemic problem bollocks.

No one actually has it.

Reuters says US is reporting its first swine flu death.

My timing is impeccable as ever.

yup, abc news reporting it
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/SwineFlu/story?id=7456439&page=1

reading the bbc 'your experiences' from mexican residents is pretty hair raising.

I had pork tacos for lunch yesterday. Coincidence, really, but I kind of chuckled to myself. But the woman behind the counter thought I was coughing, so she took out her shotgun and blew my head off, just to be safe.

Seriously, though, with two small kids (and a wife currently traveling to New York), I'm a little bit nervous, but just a little. I mean, SARS didn't freak me out at all, but that was before I had kids.

Mr Brown says there are three further confirmed cases of swine flu in the UK - in Torbay, London and Birmingham - all had been to Mexico and all are responding to treatment. One is a 12-year-old girl he says. A school is being closed as a precaution.

(Rueful) lols at panicky Mexican official's suggestion illness may not have originated there.

Given it came from an american pig farm in mexico, it may not have. However I'm not sure this is important.

My timing is impeccable as ever.

― Sickamous Mouthall (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, April 29, 2009 10:46 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

You're not the only one.

Swine flu? A panic stoked in order to posture and spend.

lad in my office just got sent home for showing fluey symptoms, and the fact he just got back from mexico holiday last week.

ben goldacre describing that jenkins column as "the most stupid swine flu piece ever" in a graun-on-graun incident.

xpost, hah

Ben Goldacre has been kicking off about that Jenkins piece via Twitter. His point -- I paraphrase, but that's only because it's so far from rocket-science as to be a truism -- is simple: just because health scares might be overblown all the time, that doesn't mean this isn't a valid cause for concern. (Which, I know, is what sensible voices on this thread, eg gbx, Abbott and Stet, have already said many times, but it looks like it's a point that bears repeating, repeatedly.)

I like Goldacre and he is right to say that we should take health scares serious, even if previous ones have fizzled out. But surely Jenkins has a point as well? Chiefly is it really necessary for this story to be as endlessly reported as it has been? Isn't there a very real danger that if the media continue to hysterically cover health scares that subsequently come to nothing, then the public is going to take such health scares less and less seriously in the future?

This may or may not turn into a full blown pandemic, whether now or six months from now. But every hysterical, complacent headline and "rolling live blog" on the subject, only increases panic in the short term and scepticism in the long term.

we're famous (thrilling mom-and-kids-on-the-street interview)

Let's see if embedding works. Check out the interview with Rufus.

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<object thttp://www.wwlp.com/

go here and click "flu pandemic has parents on alert" to see Rufus, Cyrus, my sister Lucia and me.

http://www.wwlp.com/dpp/news/wwlp_local_swineflupandemichasparentsonalert_200904290619

third time a charm?

as a hypochondriac who was already stewing with anger every time he had to hear somebody cough on an airplane or in the checkout line, I welcome many of you to my world

awww young rufus

Go, Rufus! And indeed Maria. "Six-year-old speaks more sense than many other commentators": absolutely.

Bloody hell, now 32 suspected (not confirmed) cases in Scotland.

rip the world

Bloody hell, now 32 suspected (not confirmed) cases in Scotland

OK: a mutual friend of ours (this is true) sits next to a dude who's just back from Mexico. So if he and she start sniffling and coughing, that -- by definition -- is a suspected case ... and, you know, in open-plan, air-conditioned offices, the risk of infection covers a lot more than two folk.

I'd have thought 32 is staggeringly low, to be honest.